第1348章【《卖拐》（下）】
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屏幕上。
姚建才：“那得在哪买拐呢？”
董杉杉道：“这不是吗，正好把这副拐就卖给你。”
然而，张烨却恼了：“你说啥呢？过去！卖啥呀？卖完我拄什么拐啊？你怎么这样呢？女人抠，送给他不就完了吗？”
姚建才：“别呀！”
董杉杉愕然：“不卖啦？”
张烨把拐一起：“接拐！”
姚建才激动道：“呀，老弟，哎呀老弟，我不能白要，我得给钱。”
张烨咂咂嘴：“我知道你性格，她女人要钱了，你也磨不开不给，你要脸，我不要就等于瞧不起你，是不？我还得要，给一半，一百。”
姚建才马上道：“哎，行行行。”
张烨笑道：“我告诉你多给我跟你急啊！”
姚建才掏钱，翻了半天：“诶呀老弟呀，老弟那什么，我这俩兜加一块才三十二块钱。”
董杉杉一把接过来，叹气道：“那就拿着吧，要多少是多呀。”
可是这时候。
张烨突然眼珠子一瞪：“要什么自行车？”他扯着嗓门喊道：“要啥自行车？”
观众：“哈哈哈哈哈！”
姚建才一拍脑门，赶紧去推车了，“哎呀，对对对！”
张烨瞪着董杉杉道：“你咋这么个样呢？”
董杉杉气哭：“我没说要自行车呀？你说的要自行车！”
……
观众：
“哈哈哈哈哈哈！”
“笑死我了哎呦！”
“这太逗比了！”
“要啥自行车？噗哈哈哈哈！”
“太经典了啊！”
……
老吴家。
李琴琴一边笑一边擦乐出来的眼泪！
吴默已然笑岔了气，正在一口口回气！
“笑晕了！”
“怎么这么逗啊！”
“人家哪儿说自行车了啊！”
……
电视上。
张烨气道：“见笑了啊，这媳妇儿我也管不了了，就跟人要自行车！”
董杉杉怒道：“我没说要自行车！”
姚建才赶紧道：“老弟，你别老生气，我觉着我大妹子这句话说的还是有道理的，你说像我这腿脚呢，基本就告别自行车了！”
又一句经典台词！
全场爆笑如雷！
笑声险些把一号演播厅棚给掀翻了！
董杉杉气坏了，一把抢过车子：“不行！你不能要人家自行车！”把车往姚建才手里塞，“你快拿回去，推回去，你不知道他这是坑你呢！”
姚建才也气道：“你这是坑我！你怎么这样呢？我就纳闷了，同样是生活在一起的两口子，做人的差距怎么这么大捏！！”
董杉杉：“……”
张烨一笑：“兄弟，架拐！”
姚建才感激道：“老弟，缘分呐！”
……
观众笑蒙！
“哈哈哈哈哈！”
“老姚这二货！”
“张烨缺了老德啦！”
“逗死我了！”
“哎呦喘不上气了！”
“从没看过这么好笑的小品啊！”
……
小品尾声。
这最后的一收，也是收的惊艳绝伦！
张烨推着到手的自行车，对媳妇儿道：“还瞅什么啊你？你还心疼了咋的？走，换个地方！”
董杉杉啊道：“还干啥去呀？”
张烨一踢车支子，微微一笑：“找个腿脚不好的，把自行车卖他！”
小品结束了！
这一刻，全场都沸腾了！
这一刻，全球华人都沸腾了！
掌声猛然间如惊雷一般炸响！
掌声！
尖叫！
呼喊！
此起彼伏！
……
电视前。
唐大章脸都青了！
怎么可能！
这怎么可能！
压住了！
这个轴竟然真被张烨压住了！
相声界不少等着看张烨笑话的人，此刻鸦雀无声！
……
姥姥家。
三个妹妹嗓子都喊哑了！
“太牛了！”
“我哥太牛了啊！”
“这小品绝了！绝了啊！”
……
栗柯导演家。
“演得真好啊！”
“小品本子更好！”
“这仨人真是绝配！”
“是啊，太默契了，这小品简直神了！”
……
微博上。
“杀手锏啊！”
“是啊，原来杀手锏在这儿呢啊！”
“我当初还以为之前的相声小品已经很逆天了呢，还在猜张烨该怎么压底，没想到啊！这他妈真的没谁了！”
“这是我看过最搞笑的小品！”
“同上！”
“从头笑到尾啊我！”
“我也是，肚子都笑疼了！”
“太棒了！”
“嗯，真的太棒了啊！”
“好看哭了！”
“简直不敢相信的好啊！”
“张烨为了今年的春晚，真是把看家本领都拿出来了啊！”
“这他妈才是小品！这他妈才是春晚啊！”
这一刹那，电视前的所有人都有那么一瞬间的错觉！
——春晚回来了！
当年那让人爱得如痴如醉的春晚，时隔多年，终于又回来了！！
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