第三十六章 人生地不熟,到处是难题
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事实证明,当一个从各方面看都特别异常的家伙自信满满告诉你一切包在她身上的时候,那基本上你就什么都不能指望了——郝仁领悟这个真理领悟的比较晚一些,所以直到薇薇安操着一口地道的原初盂格鲁-撒克逊腔“英文”跟当地人打听道的时候,他才整个人都呆愣当场,深切怀疑自己这次的出发准备是不是太过草率了。
一个晕头转向的小房东,一个已经快睡死过去但还努力直立行走的二货狼人,还有一个平常看似可靠,关键时刻却一都不上道的吸血鬼,这仨人自信满满来到异国他乡之后遇上了空前的危机:不认识路,语言不通,而且由于出发的时候没有做相关准备,他们甚至没上网查查在语言不通的情况下该去哪找人问路。当然也有经验方面的原因,郝仁有晕头转向,他甚至至今还没想起来可以找机场的工作人员救急——理论上这里的工作人员哪怕普通话过不了四六级也至少能告诉你最近的大使馆该怎么走,结果这不上道的家伙愣是没想起来。
薇薇安操着奇奇怪怪的腔调跟路过的一个当地老爷子交流了半天,郝仁听着那鬼知道几几年就已经失传的古式英语在旁边发愣,而被薇薇安拉住的老爷子比他愣的还厉害,可怜老人家一把年纪,竟然被自己国家的母语(货真价实)给问的连声“what”……
“你别努力了,”郝仁拽了薇薇安一把,“你这英语是公元一千一百年前后用过的,你知道一千年前的古人跟现代人说话口音差距能有多大么?回家上网查查古汉语发音你就明白了。”
薇薇安一脸沮丧:“怎么变化这么大啊,我还说只有周围环境不一样了,至少人们说话该没什么变化才是,多我说的话对他们而言相当于文言文……这怎么连发音都变了呢?”
郝仁一声长叹:“你刚出生那时候人类说话还基本靠长短不一的嘶吼和使劲捶胸顿足呢,你平常过的再糊涂也不至于连这个都没想过吧?”
“我还不至于那么老好吗?”薇薇安眼睛一瞪,“你说的那都是原始人时代了!”
这时候被薇薇安弄的一头雾水的英国老爷子看这两个年轻男女好像是在吵架,赶紧上来劝阻(老人家还是挺绅士的,被近乎外星语言的古英语折腾了这么久竟然都不着恼),老人家拽拽郝仁的胳膊,一个劲询问着:“chinese?areyouchinese?”
郝仁眨眨眼,万幸他那英语底子还没彻底扔给自己老师,于是使劲起头来。
很有耐心的老绅士微笑起来,抬手指向航站楼旁边的一处空地:那里站着身穿制服的机场工作人员:这次哪怕郝仁和薇薇安再迟钝也该开窍了。
郝仁和薇薇安尴尬地对视一眼,连声对老绅士道谢,随后拽着已经直立睡觉的莉莉跑到了航站楼的工作人员面前,对方是一个挺帅气的小伙子,制服笔挺,看上去活力十足,薇薇安上前就开口问起来:“%¥%¥#¥#%¥?”
郝仁一把将这个关键时候掉链子的吸血鬼推到一边,笑呵呵地看着露出疑惑神色的机场小伙:“劳驾,你看这地方咋……”说到一半他突然反应过来这么说恐怕不行,于是放缓语气,换成更标准的普通话:“你好,我不会说英语,我想去一个地方,请问该找谁?”
机场小伙皱着眉慢慢听完,使劲在脑子里拼了半天音标,随后露出职业化的微笑,指向不远处的停车场,用很蹩脚的中文说道:“那里,出租车司机有几名中国人,去……去……让他帮你。”
显然后面的话这位机场小伙实在憋不出来了。
这已经相当让人满意,郝仁非常高兴地跟机场小伙道了谢,扭头走向停车场的时候心里忍不住感慨万千:万没想到啊,号称可以跟亚瑟·潘德拉贡对着骂街稳占上风的吸血鬼一用都没派上,后者的“英语”最大功绩就是说晕一个外国友人,最后他竟然是用中文跟人家打听的路……
生活果然比小说精彩,因为生活压根不讲合理性!
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