第三百九十章 神都是神经病
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抛开大胡子他们四个还沉浸在那种难以言喻的‘精’神震慑状态不谈，郝仁这边却已经因为渡鸦12345的一句话而‘激’动起来：年终福利！奖金！油水！
郝仁觉得自打自己签合同以来就好像上了贼船，经历的净是一堆让人九死一生或者哭笑不得的破事，但惟独有一他颇为满意，那就是新单位的工作福利其实还不赖——尽管那个不靠谱的渡鸦经常因为这样那样的原因而把本应该发给他的东西‘弄’得一团糟，但你见过地球上有哪个公司能让你上班不到六个月就给你配车配船的？配的还是飞船！
郝仁顿时就对这个年终奖期待起来了。
渡鸦12345也没让他等太久，很痛快地随手在旁边划开一道空间裂缝，把东西一样样地搬出来：“按照咱们公司合同上写的，年终福利都在这儿……”
郝仁脸上的表情迅速由期待转为呆滞，看渡鸦的眼神儿充满了“你tm在逗我”的味道。
“五十斤米，五十斤面，十斤油……咋，有问题？”渡鸦12345发现郝仁没动地方，抬起头好奇地问了一句。后者脸上的表情似哭似笑，都不知道这时候该说啥：“……这……就是咱年终福利啊？”
“是啊，”渡鸦12345理所当然地一头，“当初签合同的时候你不都知道了么，神界年终发福利就是米面粮油，当然这仅限于标准型碳基生态圈的情况，有些地方发的是硫酸汽油和硅晶板……”
郝仁低头看着那堆东西，感觉这些玩意儿出现在街道办公室都比出现在天堂合适。但当初合同上好像确实是这么写的来着，他也只能叹口气，心说神果然是一帮神经病。平常小奖发汽车飞船，年终大奖给两袋米面……
不过很快他就知道自己还是低估了这帮神经病的发散能力，渡鸦12345还在往外掏东西：“……然后这是给你的两盒桃酥心。半袋子油茶，一箱子金苹果……”
郝仁看到一个小箱子里装了十几个金灿灿的水果。水果上萦绕着某种神秘光辉，立马一‘激’灵：“你说这是啥？！”
“金苹果啊，”渡鸦12345很不以为然，“生命‘女’神培育出来的经典品种，跟地球上某个传说中的水果‘挺’像的，就起名叫金苹果了。当然这不是真金子的，能吃。”
郝仁声音都开始发颤：“吃……吃下去有什么效果？”
渡鸦12345想了想：“我吃着没啥感觉，但据说普通人吃掉的话……好像起码有个断肢再生祛除百病的效果。哦对了。还能延长几百年寿命……”
郝仁一颗心颤了两颤，确认对方没开玩笑，他看着那一箱子神之果实眼睛都是绿的：“这就给我啦？！”
渡鸦了头，郝仁则实在忍不住满肚子的困‘惑’：“但问题是……米面粮油里面‘混’进去这么一箱子天材地宝，你们就不觉得这个套餐很奇怪？”
“不奇怪啊，年终福利就是米面粮油心水果，其中米面粮油不容易坏，水果却不能久放，所以我们统一换成可以长期存放的金苹果，几千年前就这么干了。”
郝仁都快哭出来了：“就为这个原因？就因为这玩意儿保质期长？”
“对呀。”
神仙真是一帮神经病！
“这还有最后一样东西。”渡鸦12345说着，从随身空间里取出一些红纸，“快过年了。送你副对联——这可是我亲手写的，贴在‘门’上把你家周边方圆两里镇成半个圣域不成问题。”
郝仁表情古怪地接过对联，展开一看，只见上面用龙飞凤舞的抓心挠肝体写着上帝的神喻，上联是：憋了俩月不知道写啥，下联是：想了三天凑两句废话，横批是：有字就行……
整副对联七扭八歪，郝仁都怀疑渡鸦是用油漆刷子刷上去的字，而这几张纸拿在手里却有一种温润的气息。暗淡的辉光在字迹周围流转，使四周萦绕着一种淡然神圣的氛围。
“这个……我不贴行么？”郝仁特别纠结地看着渡鸦12345。他感觉自己每次跟对方见面都免不了陷入这种纠结，“我回去当宝贝供起来都行。”
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