第五百一十九章 开课
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莉莉眨巴着眼睛：“怎么感觉房东跟个搞传销的似的？”
南宫三八懵懵懂懂地看着郝仁手里的金苹果，感觉听的云里雾里。他下意识地问了一句：“那我要是不入伙会咋样？”
“我觉得正常人拒绝不了这个，但如果你真不入伙也行，”郝仁说着又从兜里掏出一杆钢笔来，“那你就看着这上面的小灯，等我数一二三小灯一亮你就会忘掉在异世界看到的一切。但说实话我不知道这玩意儿管不管用，我上司把这玩意儿‘交’给我的时候说这个是从一个叫二里桥小商品批发市场的地方‘弄’来的，那地方是整个神界最大的假货聚集地，有一帮吃饱撑着的家伙成天从人间倒腾些山寨玩具拿来骗钱。所以这东西可能让你忘掉更多东西，据说还有百分之十的几率导致‘性’别认知障碍。不过你放心，我负责给你介绍个基佬网站，你可以走上另一段幸福人生，而你也不会记着自己曾经喜欢过‘女’人……诶莉莉别咬人！”
莉莉松开嘴，从郝仁胳膊上抬起头：“因为你越说越没边了！”
南宫三八听了一头冷汗，赶紧指天画地地发誓：“我入伙之心天地可鉴——不过话说回来我怎么突然感觉你们这跟个非法团伙似的……”
“整个世界你都找不到比我们更合法的队伍了，”南宫五月吐吐舌头，顺便甩给郝仁个白眼，“只不过队长太不靠谱让你有所误会而已。”
“那就让五月给你讲讲吧，有关我们时空管理局en35节驻王八坨子办事处的情况，等之后我再领你去上级那报个道才算完事，”郝仁收起钢笔，顺便把工作甩给海妖姑娘，“我去找大胡子，现在通往梦位面的通道已经打通，我得问问他回家不。”
“他出去给人上课了，”伊扎克斯叫住郝仁，“晚上才能回来。”
郝仁一愣：“上课？上什么课？”
“给后街一帮老头老太太还有家庭主‘妇’们讲养生和环保低碳生活，”伊扎克斯表情怪怪的，“一个星期前开的课，现在期期火爆……他快成‘妇’‘女’之友了都。”
郝仁听的一愣一愣的，他可没想到平常看着最木讷最土气的苦行僧大胡子竟然成了这么能折腾的一个人。不过听到对方纠集了那么多人讲课他就隐隐觉得有不妥，于是抬‘腿’就往外走：“我找他去！”
郝仁来到后街，刚想找人打听一下讲课的地方在哪就发现压根用不着打听：街东头的大杨树下面跟邪.教似的围了三四层人，其中百分之八十是家庭‘妇’‘女’，这不用问就是大胡子传道授业解‘惑’的现场。他赶紧跑过去，果然看见在人堆里有一小块空地，大胡子正坐在一块石头上表情俨然地给人讲课：
“……所以自然和谐之道才是长久生存的法‘门’。‘女’……先贤教导我们，世间万物生同源，死同归，万事万物不分尊卑，都是天地循环的一粒微尘，人不论贵贱都是一团骨‘肉’，草木不分贵贱都是一方生灵，就是这个道理。人生在世，起于灰归于土，应知足常乐。平常三餐清水干粮，维生足矣；睡卧之策几尺草席，酣睡足矣；穿衣打扮三尺麻布，遮体足矣。若要享乐，则应自给自足……”
大胡子讲的是一套一套的，周围一圈闲着没事的家庭‘妇’‘女’们听着是频频头，这些不明觉厉但听上去低碳环保的东西最合这些人的胃口。
这时候突然从旁边传来一声音：“郝仁？你也来听课啊？”
郝仁扭头一看，发现是个老邻居，街头开超市的那位胖老板。他摇摇头：“我来找人——话说你也来听课？”
“谁乐意听这个啊，我来把我媳‘妇’拽回去，”胖老板都快哭出来了，“这倒霉催的课呦……我家婆娘听‘迷’心了，我都吃了五天大饼卷馒头白水拌米饭了，还跟我说想吃‘肉’就自己去野地里抓兔子去，这tm是养生么！”
郝仁：“……”（天上掉馅饼的好活动，炫酷手机等你拿！关注起/公众号（微信添加朋友-添加公众号-输入ddxiaoshuo即可），马上参加！人人有奖，现在立刻关注ddxiaoshuo微信公众号！）;
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