第五百三十章 滚的世界观牢不可破
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郝仁领着“滚”走在回家的路上,感觉这一趟在外面逛的简直是身心俱疲。他没想到这只猫变‘成’人之后竟然会这么麻烦小说故事里那些又萌又懂事的猫娘都是忽悠人的,这种带有猫的逻辑又有人的行动力的家伙怎么可能省心?刚成‘精’的猫娘压根世界观不对好么!
就这么一路走回来,郝仁简直记不清自己已经念叨了多少句:“不准去别人脚边蹲着……不准吃路边的东西……别翻垃圾箱了……不准爬墙,从树上下来!放开那只鸟!离狗远……别碰垃圾堆……站起来走路!”
他觉得自己简直是在带孩子,而且这孩子比豆豆难伺候多了。
猫姑娘第三次从墙头跳下来,身上已经脏兮兮的仿佛刚从中东战区回来似的。她冲郝仁呲呲牙:“铲屎的,你好烦。”
郝仁已经放弃纠正这家伙对自己的称呼,只是有气无力地提醒她:“你已经变‘成’人形了好么,今后的生活方式必须改变……懂么?生活方式,行为习惯,我说这些你应该能听懂吧?”
“不是吃的东西,但能听懂,”猫姑娘摇头晃脑,“可是人类语言里为喵有这么多跟吃无关的东西?”
郝仁一瞪眼:“你管那么多原因干啥,我说的你照做就行!”
∞▼,.猫姑娘喉咙里呼噜着:“好麻烦,变成大猫好麻烦,你赶紧把我变回去。”
郝仁翻着眼干脆不回答了:他倒是想啊,问题是变身这事儿又不是录像,哪有能倒放的!
仨人回家之后发现家里就剩薇薇安和莉莉俩人守着。南宫五月想必又是跑到不知哪个地铁车站商店广场前面开个唱去了。而大胡子兴许又在荒野里挑战人与自然,当然也可能是被南郊那帮中老年‘妇’‘女’们拽着讲课。伊扎克斯爷俩则有可能又在街上收废品昔日异世界魔王沦落地球无业流‘浪’。最终与魔界公主一同在南郊收废品,说起来简直是一把辛酸泪。但伊丽莎白小姑娘竟然还‘挺’乐意的。
莉莉本来正趴在桌子上码字,听见动静就迎了过来:“房东你回来啦?情况都问清楚了呗?”
薇薇安也凑了过来,好奇地看着郝仁以及正趴在沙发旁边的“滚”。
“金苹果惹的事,”郝仁叹了口气,把在渡鸦12345那里打听到的情况简单说了说,随后郑重提醒,“你们谁要是还剩着金苹果的话千万别拿来‘乱’喂小动物啊,这玩意儿太不省心了。”
莉莉嗷了一声,她倒是不担心:这个吃货早就把自己的苹果吃完了。随后她绕着猫姑娘转来转去地嗅着。一边嗅一边嘀咕:“有商店街的味儿……还有烤鱼味儿,你领着她上街了啊?她没‘乱’跑?”
郝仁嘴角一‘抽’:“能不‘乱’跑么,说句实话,遛她比遛你麻烦多了。”
莉莉一听这个顿时眉开眼笑,竟然把这当成一种夸奖,腆着脸就凑了上来:“那你啥时候再去遛我呗?我好几天没去市里买东西啦!”
郝仁:“……你能有出息么?”
“滚”在地上趴了一会,抬起头懒洋洋地看着莉莉:“傻大猫,我要吃饭!烤鱼没吃饱!”
莉莉哦了一声,扭头就要给猫姑娘准备饭。郝仁一看这个情况大为惊讶:“诶,你不是不怕她了么?”
莉莉挠着头发:“是不怕了啊,不过给她拌饭已经成习惯啦。”
郝仁有傻眼,真没想到这个哈士奇竟然能没出息到这个地步。还以为她终于翻身农奴把歌唱,从此摆脱家里狗←猫←鱼的食物链呢,结果她愣是已经困在这个食物链里出不来了!
这时候“滚”自己把尾巴从衣服里解了出来。她舒舒服服地伸着懒腰,随后完全以蠕动的方式爬到沙发上。轻车熟路地打开电视开始看宠物频道,一边看一边嚷嚷:“铲屎的!我要这个玩具!还有这个罐头!这个垫子也好看……给我换个新猫窝我要小一的……给我小鱼干!”
反正不管嚷嚷啥吧。猫姑娘就没有一时半刻是闲着的。这也算是“滚”的一大特‘色’:跟其他文文静静的喵星人比起来这简直就是个多动症患者,以前还是猫的时候她就整天要么在外面‘乱’跑要么在屋里瞎折腾,就是安静不下来。但当初她折腾的时候可完全没这么闹心:那时候没人能听懂她在说啥啊!
现在可好,猫姑娘虎踞沙发口吐人言,郝仁终于意识到当一只猫可以口吐人言之后能有多神烦了。
不过郝仁也想开了:他完全可以不管这只猫的聒噪,就当还是以前那样听不懂她在说啥。反正当初“滚”在屋里‘乱’窜的时候没人搭理她,她也‘挺’自得其乐的,现在照样没人搭理,她应该也能习惯。
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