第五百三十七章 猫其实很单纯
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事实证明金苹果可以给一个傻猫智慧灌，却做不到知识灌当一只猫有了人的智慧却保留着猫的认知，两个物种世界观的碰撞所能产生的火花简直亮瞎狗眼。这个二货在发现自己可以处理上厕所的问题，并且连猫砂都不再需要之后，一个冲击性的事实直击她那还不太灵光的脑海：
本喵从此之后不需要猫砂了。
于是“铲屎的”从此之后就失去了存在意义。
郝仁快死了。
这神奇的三段式推论当场把这个二货吓的稀里哗啦的。
傻猫一边抹着眼泪一边抱着郝仁的裤腿哭，要是普通的猫绝对没这个反应：因为它们的智力和情感复杂度都注定了它们不会对自己的主人有这么多感情，普通的人也绝对没这个反应，因为但凡有三观的人类都不至于认为“铲屎官”仨字儿是认真的。然而一个普通的猫妖就把这件事当真了，并且认认真真地伤心起来：她的感情刚好复杂到可以搞明白主人和自己的亲密关系，而她的认知刚好简单到搞不明白人类是以啥为生的。
郝仁想明白“滚”的逻辑之后哭笑不得，第一反应是揪着这个傻猫的脖颈子再甩两圈，但犹豫片刻还是按着对方的脑袋慢慢解释起来，努力让傻猫明白人类是一种怎么〖，..样复杂的生物，而给自己的猫换猫砂只是人类生活中一个微不足道的组成部分……人生绝对不是由“给喵大人准备食物”和“给喵大人换猫砂”两部分组成的！
郝仁越说越觉得卧槽，他竟然在认真跟一只猫解释这种操蛋的问题……这个问题从从头到尾都不合逻辑，每一个字眼儿里都渗着让人抓狂的逗比气息。但他竟然还要憋着不能笑！
“滚”听着听着总算安静下来，狐疑地看着郝仁：“你不骗喵啊？你真的不会死啊？”
郝仁都快脱力了：“我怎么可能会死……你这个世界观到底要什么时候才能正常起来？”
“喵不知道什么是世界观。但大猫每天的生活就是给我饭吃，给我打扫厕所。”猫姑娘眨巴着眼睛，尾巴终于慢慢软下来，“大猫平常真的还干别的事啊？”
“妈蛋，我丰富多彩的日常生活怎么在一只猫眼里就被浓缩成两部分了，”郝仁捂着脑袋感觉自己的人生价值已经受到挑战，“你们有谁能理解猫的世界观的，给我解释一下。”
周围所有人立刻退避三舍，纷纷表示最好别接触这种卧槽的话题。
郝仁使劲把猫姑娘拽起来，用手胡乱擦了擦对方脸上那稀里哗啦的眼泪。后者一脸紧张地瞪着眼睛：“铲屎的，你确认自己不死了是吧？”
郝仁哭笑不得：“不死了不死了……话说我一开始也没打算死啊。”
猫姑娘放心地头：“哦，那好，给我小鱼干。”
郝仁：“……你脑子里就没别的东西了？！”
“还有大鱼干。”
“家里不准吃鱼，”郝仁瞪了傻猫一眼，顺手从随身空间里摸出根火腿肠塞进她手里，“给你这个……诶，把包装撕开！不能直接吃！”
傻猫咬着火腿肠，连着外面的塑料包装填了一嘴：“外面怎么会有这么一层硬硬的东西？”
郝仁叹了口气。帮猫姑娘去掉火腿肠外面的包装：“废话，平常我都给你处理好的。现在你自己有手了，要自己解决这些问题，而且过两天要学着用筷子。不能每次吃饭都把脸埋在饭盆里。”
傻猫吃着火腿肠，突然不知道又想了啥：“铲屎的你是不是不打算要我了？那我可以出去吃，你让我晚上回来睡觉嗷……”
郝仁叉着腰。觉得这个二货让人生气但就是发不起火来：“谁说不要你了，我只是说你今后要学着用自己现在的身体生活。你现在这个身体能办到很多以前我替你做的事。”
猫姑娘似懂非懂地着头，也不知道听进去多少。但看表情总算是安心下来。猫真是一种敏感的生物，你说家人这就一时疏忽，她自己折腾出多大乱子。
郝仁看着傻猫那懵懵懂懂的表情，还是提了一句：“另外我还是要说啊，你对我的称呼必须改改了。原来觉得让你这么乱叫也没啥影响，但现在看看你这世界观乱的跟什么似的。”
“不明白，”猫姑娘咽下火腿肠，“我是滚，很好，你是铲屎的，很好，换掉的话不好。”
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