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第一千一百七十一章 帝皇惊叹

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总有一天,郝仁会理解到什么叫超凡的预见,什么叫女神的智慧,什么叫乌鸦嘴级别的言出法随——当渡鸦12345表示自己就是随口分析两句装个逼的时候,她其实就已经把某些真相推测的不离十了,很显然,精神上的障碍并没有阻碍神仙姐姐智力上的强大。

然而现在郝仁却只是觉得自家老板简直有病,还能不能好好维持企业气氛了。

“先吃水果吧,谈好久了,”渡鸦12345继续着一张咋看咋诡异的面瘫型圣母脸,一边说一边把桌子上那些看不出品类的瓜果推到郝仁面前,“跟我这儿你也别客气,反正咱单位也没那么多规矩,这些都是应付查岗准备的,结果查岗的就嗑了三四个瓜子就走了。”

郝仁还是挺欣赏渡鸦12345这和蔼可亲姐姐范儿的,当然如果对方能把脸上那个铜打铁铸一般固化下来的“应付老板检查专用表情包”给换掉那就更好了。他一边随手从盘子里抓了个长得跟油桃一样的水果一边好奇地问:“嗑三四个瓜子?夸张吧……”

“没夸张,”渡鸦12345摆摆手,“来查岗的是个上级鸦神,鸦神你知道吧?上次你见过的,一只就那么大儿……”

女神姐姐一边说一边比划出巴掌大的长度:“抻直了也就这么高。亏我还准备了一大堆果盘,结果那小不吃了仨瓜子就饱了,后来我想想这不行啊,吃这么算招待不周啊,所以第四个瓜子是我用筷子硬给她怼进去的……”

郝仁当时就冒了一脑袋的白毛汗:他觉得女神姐姐对“招待周到”这四个字的理解有问题!

旁边渡鸦12345还在那摸着下巴自我感觉良好呢:“这么一来,今年我总该评上先进了吧……”

郝仁的白毛汗已经快流到脚面:还评先进!你没把钦差一筷子怼死!

不过话又说回来了,郝仁倒还真是对那种只有巴掌大小的豆丁鸦神印象深刻,当时他就听说这种手办女神是“信使、旅行、督查”之神,是在宏世界里到处巡街的,现在他对鸦神的工作了解更深了,敢情工作性质就跟在校园里流窜……哦不,检查教育质量的教导主任差不多……

乐观估计渡鸦12345这辈子是跟年终评先进没啥关系了。

郝仁啃着果盘里那些奇奇怪怪的各种水果,这些东西显然不是人间所产,多半也是神界来的天材地宝,跟当初的金苹果一个性质,不过它们的味道就奇妙多了,就比如他手上现在拿的这个“油桃”,虽然它看上去像个油桃,但实际上是黑椒牛排味的……

“第一口下去我还以为自己幻觉了,”郝仁瞪眼看着手里的果子,“不是被你放坏了吧?”

“哪能啊,都是新鲜的,”渡鸦12345微微一笑(她现在唯一能做出的表情也就是微微一笑了),“都是神界培育的特产,生命女神亲自研究的。我们上头的一个老板特别擅长吃,所以神界的食物也是虚空一绝——来你再尝尝这个,我主要就是想让你尝这个的。”

郝仁略带狐疑地接过女神姐姐递过来的东西,它看上去像是葡萄,摸上去也是葡萄,闻起来还是葡萄,但有了刚才那个一口下去满嘴黑椒牛排的油桃打底,他现在是真心不敢相信神界水果的外观了:“你先告诉我这个叫啥,我再决定吃不吃……”

“帝皇惊叹。”女神姐姐随口就甩出来一个吊炸天的名字。

郝仁立刻就觉得自己不吃不行了:“卧槽?”

“帝皇的惊叹,因为这东西曾让我们大老板都席上失言——那次可是三神系聚首的国宴,你就知道这果子的威力了。咋样,不尝试尝试?”

这次郝仁不等渡鸦12345把话说完就直接把那“葡萄”塞进嘴里了,一边塞一边含含糊糊地嚷嚷:“吃吃吃,不吃不是人,这听上去就他喵的至少增一千年功……噗!”

郝仁半句话没说完,一股直冲脑门的冲击就从他口中炸裂,涌向四肢百骸每一条神经尽头,当场他就噗出来了,随后那种难以言喻的味道才开始在他舌头上,甚至脑髓里游走。这一瞬间他甚至觉得自己突破了人类的感官,突破了碳基生物的神经结构,突破了这个世界的物质屏障,用舌头接触了另一个非人领域的体验——毫不夸张,这tm到底是什么味儿啊!酸甜苦辣?你用味道根本没法描述,就感觉舌头上每一根神经都跟中了电一样在那使劲哆嗦,一刺一刺的冲击从喉头上涌到脑髓里,接下来全身都刺痒的跟神经中毒一般,这种冲击足足持续了十分钟,十分钟!

一颗“葡萄”让郝仁十分钟后才恢复正常呼吸,他晕晕乎乎地恢复清明,舌头上还有一股股难以言喻的“味道”在振荡,但神奇的是此番冲击之后他的精神头倒是极好,还能大着舌头发出一声惊呼:“我勒个擦的这tm到底什么玩意儿?!”

渡鸦12345顺手弹了个小光球砸在郝仁脑袋上:“员工守则咋说的你忘了?文明言行规范上岗,工作期间在单位里不准骂街——必须等领导骂完你再骂。”

郝仁努力把舌头捋直:“额……所以这到底是啥?”

“帝皇惊叹啊,”渡鸦12345往椅子上一靠,“厉害吧。”

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