第五节当阿维遇上小维姐姐
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其实，我是原原本本地跟阿维说了昨天晚上事情的经过的。
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演唱会结束后，我骑着那辆二八大车，直奔学校北门而去，打算回家收拾收拾东西的。
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学校北门附近只有远处路口有盏路灯，昏暗的光把校门口一带照得恍恍惚惚，加上周围大树投射下来的阴影，总会让人在看完恐怖电影以后提心吊胆。是非之地不能久留，想着我加紧蹬车，几乎以和汽车赛跑的速度冲出门去，猛地右拐过来，忽然——
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面前，一个静止不动的黑影！
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就在我面前一米五远处，一个站立不动的黑影忽然出现在我的视野里，遮住了巷口路灯的光。我张大嘴巴，差叫出声来，好在平时培养的好习惯使我下意识地紧紧捏住了车闸。
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车轮和地面强烈的摩擦声竟然被前面人影尖叫的声音压盖了下去，惊得我差摔下车来。我定了定神扯开嗓子就嚷：“车，看着！往哪站啊！”
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“不好意思……”前面尖叫的人回答了一句，同时转过了身来。
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接下该轮到我尖叫。
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此人正是宠物猫。
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7
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“像你这么作恶多端的人，竟然也会碰上企鹅啊，没天理！”当时，我给阿维讲到差撞上宠物猫的时候，那厮摇头晃脑地叹息。
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“那怎样，连你都骗着企鹅了，还敢提‘天理’么？”我捶了阿维一拳。
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“这……也是啊……谢谢谢谢！”阿维挠挠脑门，笑起来，一脸的沟回。
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提起阿维的企鹅，要追溯到万恶的军训时代。
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一日，我和阿维偷偷跑到便利商店买鱼皮花生豆，偏巧倒霉透碰上连长抱了一堆手纸迎面走来，吾二人躲闪不及，不幸被捕，被罚每人头一卷手纸踢正步一小时，真真惨绝人寰，呜呼哀哉。
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“傻缺东西！”揉着抽筋的腿往回走的时候阿维咬牙切齿地骂，“明天我就把商店里所有手纸都刨个坑埋了，让这傻缺东西憋死没手纸用！”
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“你得了吧，”我早已经累得没心思犯二，“赶紧回去还能睡半个小时的午觉是真的。”
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“等会儿……”路过女生连的营地，阿维忽然停下来，“咱找好玩的东西吧，要不然总觉得生气啊。”
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“小心吧你，又琢磨什么邪恶东西啊。”
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然而看着阿维一脸坏笑盯着女生营地，我知道他不得逞是不会罢休的。
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结果是，这厮偷走了一某女生晾在太阳底下的帽子，捡了个破塑料瓶子塞在帽子里当球踢了一路，当真畅快淋漓，不再郁闷。当我还在担心万一被发现之类，阿维已经干净利落地把偷来的帽子连同塑料瓶一起扔进了垃圾箱。
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当晚，我和阿维因为新的违纪，被罚在别人休息期间给大家打水。
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在路上拉着一水车磨磨蹭蹭骂骂咧咧，迎面碰到了另一辆三轮水车晃晃悠悠撞将过来，随着对面驾车姑娘的叫喊声，两辆水车一起翻进了沟里。
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“喂，你属野猪的啊，怎么横冲直撞啊！”连续被罚之后，我把气愤都嚷了出来。
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“算了算了，停止内战一致对外，和傻缺教官斗争才是主要矛盾。”阿维一把推开我，然后边从沟里往外拉水车边和驾驶水车的姑娘废话。
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“这个吧，我们其实挨罚真是挺冤枉的。”拉出水车后，阿维显然已经跟姑娘套得了近乎，开始犯二，“吃完饭做小值日的时候，教官非告诉我扫地扫得不干净，他说‘看不见地上的饭粒啊’，我告诉他‘我没戴眼镜看不清楚’，他说‘那你看得清什么啊’，我说‘小的东西我看不清、大个儿的才能看清楚呢、比如你的脸挺大的、像大脸猫、我就看得清楚’——结果，他非告诉我侮辱教官！”
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和我们撞车的姑娘听完以后笑了起来
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“你得了吧，本来没我的事……”看着阿维又开始逗企鹅玩，我也不甘寂寞地加入话题，“就是你，非告诉说你没戴眼镜是因为我把你眼镜藏起来了——你说说，你什么时候戴过眼镜？结果教官就让我跟你一起挨罚！”
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“我也是挨罚了，真是的！”拉车的企鹅显然没听我说话，而是在和阿维聊。
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“怎么？”阿维一副认真聆听的模样，却在身后拍拍我的后腿，把我轰到了一边。
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“这事也不怪我啊，”拉车的企鹅越说越伤心起来，“不知道怎么回事，我晾在外面的帽子丢了，班长就罚我拉水。你说，帽子丢了，这也不是我的错……”
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