第八节 爱故生忧，爱故生怖
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这回和尚总算有了反应，他把那张证书收了起来，两手合到一起，很正规地低头弯腰，拜了两拜，然后转身离去。
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还留给了我一句：“施主所言极是，日后详加参悟，定然受益无穷。阿弥陀佛！”
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这回轮到我愣着，愣了好久。
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无意间，本来是为了打发和尚的，结果把《倚天屠龙记》里觉远大师的话给搞出来了。
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详加参悟，受益无穷。
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我站起来，细细品味着和尚说的话。脚下被我踩碎的树叶，秋天即落，春季又发，一生苦短，不正是如露如电如梦如影么？我知道我笑了，我骑上单车，缓缓的，离开了落满银杏叶子的小路。
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一切恩爱会，无常难得久。
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在半年之前，澎澎还是死心塌地和我好，不畏艰难险阻上山给我送好吃的，如今事过境迁，往事不再，掐指算算，不过是不到五个月的时间吧！宠物猫亦如是，当初好言劝我给彼此多一时间，难道真的是为了甩开我么？咴儿曾经坚定地告诉我，和猫咪之间的关系，只是朋友。似乎所有的事情，都在短短的一段时间内，变了。
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好吧，既然如此，我为什么要让自己沉溺在灰色里这么久呢？
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由爱故生忧，由爱故生怖。
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我还是无法面对在澎澎和猫咪之间选择其一的事实，虽然那是早有答案的。然而无法面对又如何？我还是需要吃饭喝水的，需要继续上课考试拿文凭的，这是我选择的路。猫咪选择音乐，而咴儿选择我所不清楚的生活方式，卢可选择好好学习天天向上，我和阿维之流则是选择在学校里混下去，无所谓对错吧。
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我不该因为爱与被爱，而背弃长久以来选择的方向。至少，不应该混出不及格的成绩来吧。也许我真的对不起阿维，对不起老严，对不起我善良的父母兄弟亲戚朋友。
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若离于爱者……
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头似乎晃过了许多个红色或者绿色的指示灯，还有交通协管员的叫喊声。
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我该活得像我自己，不折不扣的水瓶座，不为了那些事情而情绪低靡。也许这个年纪的孩子，做不到远离爱情，但是至少可以，把那些欢乐和伤悲压抑住吧，就像从前一样，不允许任何形式的剧烈爆发。
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毕竟，我不是感情用事的水相星座，不是双鱼或者巨蟹。
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无忧亦无怖……
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就是这样。
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强打起精神，也许我是可以做到的。
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想到这里，我感觉到自己在笑了。满意的笑。
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既而我看清了面前的两个人，两个搬运工人，他们分开站在不怎么宽敞的小街两侧，各自把一只手举在半空，做着怪异的动作，而脸上的表情却十分慌张，似乎张大的嘴里还在喊着什么。
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我的疑惑，在两秒钟后变成了触觉、听觉、视觉。
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猛烈的碰撞。
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我感到前所未有的温暖，还有模糊的眩晕。
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随身听里还在放着歌，不停地唱着：“时间原来就是这么危险，轻易地改变我们的诺言，留下五颜六色爱情纪念，在每个夜晚和我缠绵……”
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