第十九节 回忆（下）
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“从一开始，我就知道你是好人，果然没让我看错。”
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女孩靠着粗壮的核桃树，玩弄着吉他的某一根弦，风吹走了停留在她脸上的躁热，却带不走泪水风干的痕迹。
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而我则躺在草地上，听着琴声，听着谁说话。这个场景似曾相识，在以前的什么时候，似乎，也有两个人摆过这样的姿势，那两个家伙，似乎叫做葭和阿维。
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“咴儿一定会道歉的，你该听听他的解释，所以，回去吧。”
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“但是，难道有一些话你不想听我说吗？”
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我把目光对焦在无限远，那是虚无的夜空。女孩的话就像从未知的地方传来，却真真切切地刺激着我的神经。水瓶座的理智告诉我，我该走了，我们该分开了，然而却有一份依恋，一直把我拴住。
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澎澎怎么办？咴儿怎么办？
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“我想听，但是我怕我听了之后，会反悔的。”
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“反悔什么？”
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“没什么，你说吧。”
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怎么办？那是明天的事情！我告诉自己，不听宠物猫说的话，我同样会后悔的。
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宠物猫说，当初选择咴儿，是因为咴儿能帮助她实现对音乐的追求。
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而咴儿也确实做到了，至少目前为止，他们正向着一个明朗的目标发展着。
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“但是…我始终觉得…在生活中…我忽略了什么感受…有时候我觉得…我是在拿感情做代价…去实现我所追求的东西…虽然咴儿也是个很好的人…但是从一开始…我就认定…他是能给予我确实帮助的…所以…其实…平心而论…如果在以前…几年前吧…我还没有确定…要把这种追求…对音乐的追求…放在第一位以前…其实……”
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我听着，看着宠物猫，看着她不带任何修饰的眼神。
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“其实…如果同时遇到你和咴儿…也许…我会选择是你的…你知道吗…因为你真的很善良…但是…很可惜的…我们不是一路人…我早就说过…所以…很抱歉……”
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我说过，我会反悔的。
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这个对于我而言一直猜不透、又一直想要接近的女孩，突然之间，我有了一种想要尽我所能去保护她，改变她，让她不必再压抑地、掩饰地、疲惫地生活，这样一种冲动。
摘自：.
“猫猫，你，听我说。”我从草地上坐了起来，“也许，以前我只是知道犯二和混日子的，但是现在，我要为今后的前途考虑了，要对别人负责，所以首先要对自己负责。咴儿能做得到的，或许以前我做不到，但是现在，我可以承诺，我也能尽力做到——”
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“你别说了，所谓的承诺，是不能轻易说出来的。”
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“我没有轻易！我会证明给你看。”
摘自：.
那一夜，远处的活动场和自习室里，有通宵不熄的灯光，和零零落落来来往往的人。
摘自：.
宠物猫默默地离开了，只留下我自己，坐在熟悉的草地上，粗壮的核桃树下，透过斑驳的树叶，看着头黯淡的星空。
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你别为我呐喊别为我哭，别让我明亮的眼睛模糊，你别给我幸福别给我苦，别让我知道了回家的路，你的目光我想我也很清楚，但我已不能在乎……
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