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第490章 夹谷之会(终于)

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ps:第二章献上,明天是下午和晚上更

齐国的舞乐们从台下往上登,因为两国卫士遮挡,看不清模样,直到他们踏上走道,走向会盟台中央,欢闹的波浪这才迅速在宾客中间扩散开来。

孔子等人定睛一看,却见有倡优侏儒二十余人,异服涂面,装女扮男,分为二队,拥至齐侯鲁侯面前,他们不由愕然。

“这些倡优侏儒,便是齐宫之舞乐?”

与鲁国人的诧异不同,齐国的士大夫们却并未觉得有何不妥,毕竟从齐桓公开始,齐国的风俗便是“倡优侏儒在前,而贤大夫在后”了。到了现任的齐侯杵臼在位,在梁丘据、陈恒等奸佞之臣包围怂恿下,更是“所好者音乐狗马田宅,所爱者倡优巧匠之属”,齐国宫廷从晏婴死后,便是乌烟瘴气一片。

所以当倡优侏儒们演戏调笑着走上前来时,一阵笑闹的风暴便席卷齐国大夫聚集的筵席,侏儒们等大家笑声渐息,才又彼此绕圈,辱骂各种脏话,准备进行下一步的表演。

可这些在齐国君臣眼中寻常而有趣的舞乐,却让主持相礼的孔丘面沉如水,但他还来不及站出来斥责,却早已有人投箸下堂。

“两国之君在此相礼,本是庄重严肃的场合,缘何会有倡优侏儒来调笑?分明明明是在讽刺两国君子,有司何在,还不速速将他们驱散!”

……

正是赵无恤,他因为饮了不少酒而面色微红,不怒自威。

倡优侏儒们一时间噤若寒蝉,但却未立刻撤下,因为齐侯,还有将他们带到此地的梁丘据和陈恒尚未发言。

侏儒里的领头者名为淳于鬓。长得五短三粗,是临淄有名的倡优,他平日巧舌如簧。擅长在席间讽刺主人厌恶的宾客,凭借这多次得到赏赐。随后被陈氏和梁丘据高价买来培养。成为齐宫里最讨齐侯欢心的滑稽宠臣,甚至可以出入宫禁,也很讨小公子荼的喜欢。

所以在赵无恤下堂驱散他们时,其他倡优侏儒怯怯地就要退下,只有觉得自己头上有人淳于鬓大着胆子一抬头,望向了梁丘据和陈恒两位主人。梁丘据有些不知所措,而陈氏的世子,则在对他微微头。这是一种暗示,一种鼓励,鼓励他可以像以往那样,让齐侯厌恶的人丢尽颜面。

作为凭借口舌和机灵讨生活的他,哪能不知道,自家君上最痛恨的,莫过于下堂来驱逐他们的赵无恤!

于是侏儒淳于鬓突然腆着肚子夸张地大笑起来:“诸位贵人勿惊,今日两国和解,鲁国的赵小司寇高兴异常,此番是上场来与吾等演滑稽戏。博两国之君欢笑的,不必当真!”

此言一出,席间的众人一时沉默。随即爆发了一阵笑声,这当然不可能是真的,但他们很好奇赵无恤的反应。

赵无恤扶着剑,一动不动。

他死死盯住那口不择言的侏儒,黑眼睛里带着些许怒意,心里却感谢陈恒的助攻。

他同时也瞥见了台上众人的表情:齐侯已乐得脸色红彤彤、喘不过气来;季孙斯陪坐在旁吃吃发笑,小眼睛里不知在想些什么;其余齐国大夫也显得颇感兴趣,交头接耳不已。高台上就坐众人中,唯有孔子脸色越发难看。

淳于鬓尝试着挑衅赵无恤。见主人们并未出面阻止,这意味着他可以继续。于是个头虽然连半个人都不到,胆量却比豹子还大的他越发口无遮拦。

“素闻赵小司寇勇锐。有一佩剑名为少虡,今日可愿意与小人对舞否?”

他一边说着,一边跳上案几,拾起一把戳肉的大叉子,开始用尖端的那头朝赵无恤胸膛不住地比划,模样滑稽非常。

“哈哈哈哈!”

齐人的笑声简直要传遍整个夹谷了,齐侯更是连刚吃进嘴的肉都喷了出来,呛得边咳嗽边喘气。但鲁国人那边三桓的笑声里,则隐隐带着些焦虑不安的气氛。

这玩笑似乎开的有些过分了……

放在鲁国,谁敢这么当众嘲笑赵无恤!?这一定会引发严重的后果,上一个惹怒小司寇的人是须句大夫和他的巫师,现如今一个被火焰活活吞噬,另一个则丢掉了封地,在鲁宫里的陋巷寄居。

那侏儒哪里知道这些内情,他只看得见齐侯见赵无恤受辱,高兴得捧腹大笑,而陈恒也对他露出了满意的笑意,手笼在袖子里,一副看好戏的模样。

“小司寇,为何还不亮出剑来,莫非是怕打不过小人?”淳于鬓越来越入戏了因为两国尚未正式和解,所以登上会盟台的众人并未解除佩剑,且有各自的侍卫分别立于两旁,因为太过专注,他甚至没有注意到武卒们的怒目而视。

淳于鬓不断试探着朝赵无恤那边走,一般在齐国,这个时候受辱的宾客便明白自己不受主人待见,会一扭头拂袖而走。

谁料然而下一刻,血光飞溅,淳于鬓还没反应过来,便首身分离!

赵无恤只一个眼神,身边的勇士田贲边立刻上去将侏儒手刃了,那颗和平常人一般大小的头颅提于手中,而那短小的身躯,则倒在血泊里抽搐不已!

“少虡宝剑,只饮王侯卿大夫之血,你这倡优侏儒还不够格……”

……

“哎呀!”

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