第569章 譬如北辰
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月余不见，孔丘好似老了十岁，黑灰色的发髻和卷须里夹杂的白发越来越多，变成了浅灰色，就像外面那满是灰尘和繁霜的世界。
面对柳下季的不忿，他没有像年轻时候，听闻季氏八佾舞于庭时，便愤青地怒斥“是可忍，孰不可忍也！”他只是接过帛书，将鲁侯授土策书的副本读完，随即将它扔到火炉里，任由其化为灰烬。
“事到如今，老朽还能说什么？”
“去据理力争，去出言反对，去鸣鼓于朝堂宫阙，这才是你，仲尼的风格！”
孔丘无奈地笑道：“我一事无成，如今只是一个主政失败的士，一个下野老朽而已，谁还会听我号召？”
柳下季说道：“你德高望重，如今正是国君需要人辅佐的时候，何苦自绝于鲁，这么多天闭门不出，你是要做隐士么？”
“隐士？不，不会。伯夷叔齐为了不降其志，不辱其身，隐居首阳山。你的祖先柳下惠被罢黜三次却不愿轻言离弃鲁国，宁可降其志，辱其身。这是两个极端，我与他们不同，不会隐于世外，却也无法再轻易出仕，更无法轻易出言了。”
柳下季死死盯着孔丘，指着渐渐熄灭的铜炉道：“仲尼，你现在像是一堆死灰般了无生气，这不是你，∈▽，..你应是个知不可为而为之的人！”
“我没有灰心，只是需要时间来反省自身。”
“反省？你无错，错的是那些小贼和大盗。就在你杜门不出的时候，鲁国已经高岸为谷，深谷为陵了！如今季氏家主自杀，孟氏家主出逃，这两家的继承者名为鲁卿。实际上却如同赵氏的附庸，但画诺而已！鲁国军政大权均决于赵氏之手。如此下去，鲁国迟早会君不君，臣不臣，家不家，国不国！礼乐征伐自卿大夫出。这不是你一向反对的么！？”
孔丘看着老友，眼神里充满无奈：“我知之……但刀剑胜过了诗书，权谋胜过了礼乐，这真真是鲁国的季世啊……”
他仿佛看到了时代的尽头，却无力去阻止，甚至连以身殉周礼的念想都未能实现，只能苟活于家中，大门一关，眼不见。心不烦。
柳下季却有些偏执了：“所以你就什么都不做？我知道赵无恤沿袭了你的堕四都之策，还大肆任命你的弟子们为吏，多次请你出去做管礼乐的宗伯。你莫不是因此感激他，觉得他能礼遇你一生，至死方休？”
孔子皱起了眉：“何出此言？国君待我以礼，我必报之以忠，我此生绝不仕赵氏……赵子泰如今还是较为恭顺的臣子，他尚未逾越最后的底线。倘若他敢……”
柳下季步步紧逼：“他若起了非分之想，悍然弑君。你当如何？”
孔丘这几日来难得地须发贲张，他拍案起身道：“倘如此，我当斋戒沐浴，然后持二尺剑入曲阜里闾，号召国人鸣鼓共攻之！纵不能讨灭逆臣，丘身死可矣！”
……
柳下季告辞后。孔丘望着烛光又呆了半响，直到颜回拿着一卷书走进来，才将他从思索里惊醒。
“回，什么时辰了？”
颜回在这春寒料峭的时节依然衣衫单薄，那件破羊皮褥子不知披多久了。他恭恭敬敬地行礼道：“夫子，快到子时了。”
现在已经是一月一日，不知不觉，又过了一年……
“将灯熄了，随我走走罢……”
颜回应诺，吹了灯，搀扶着孔子迈步出门，他那双眼睛在这伸手不见五指的夜里依然清澈无比。
公元前五世纪的都邑在夜里看上去和乡里、郊野没什么区别，到处都黑灯瞎火的。
但这个世界却不黑，和颜回的明眸一样，天上的夜幕像一条无比宽大的黑毯，满天星辰则像是缀在这毯子上一颗颗晶莹的闪光珍珠。
孔丘找到了最明亮的北辰星，指着它说道：“还记得为师在中都为宰时，对汝等说过的话么？为政以德，譬如北辰，居其所而众星共之……如今赵将军也如北辰那样凌驾众星之上，却并未为政以德，而是为政以力，竟无人能与之争。但这种局面恐怕无法持久，他迟早就将鲁国拖入六卿之争里，届时恐怕其兴也勃，其亡也忽，我在为鲁国的未来担忧啊……”
颜回答道：“我的看法与夫子一样，赵氏势成，与其硬争，还不如不争。而不是像柳下季大夫打算的那样，号召国人出来反对他。届时非但没法赶走，还会招致死亡和报复，鲁国需要的，是一种与赵氏共处的相处之道，恐怕还得依仗夫子你出面。”
孔丘知道颜回担心的其实是自己，但他却断然拒绝：“一如之前对柳下季所说的，只要赵子泰不越过底线，我便不会公然与之为敌。但要我和赐、求等人一样认同他，却更做不到，道不同，不相为谋！”
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