三国轶闻(01)
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自罗贯中着《三国演义》，世人皆信以为真，只道关羽乃豪杰英雄。却不知“食色性也”——囊日下邳城擒杀吕布，关羽数次告于曹操，求吕布一侍妾。操疑其女有色，自纳之，关羽不悦。吾非讥刺云长公，然人之本心如此，岂能捏造遮掩？道出“世情风俗”之原本，我辈方不负天下人。诸君只知云长当年为保皇嫂，屈膝降曹，竟不知其中那段真隐情也！
当年刘备屯兵小沛，曹操知备人中之龙也，恐其羽翼丰满，遂统大军二十万来取徐州。玄德本庸庸之徒，使张飞夜袭曹营。曹操先发制人，大破之。玄德弃小沛而投袁绍，徐州守将糜竺、简雍亦走。操驱使人马，径往下邳。
关云长保住二嫂，苦苦支持。奈何刘备全不以兄弟、妻子为念，独自走脱：真小人也！古人云：家室尚不能治，何以谋天下乎？
关公独守孤城，不得已，遂降。操素爱云长人才武艺，设宴相待。次日班师还许昌。关公收拾车仗，请二嫂上车，亲自护车而行。于路安歇馆驿，操欲乱其君臣之礼，使关公与二嫂共处一室。关公乃秉烛立于户外，自夜达旦，毫无倦色。
是夜，关羽正暗自思念兄长、三弟，忽听得房中窃窃私语。云长恐二嫂有事，又不敢失礼闯入闺中，情急之下，捅破窗纸窥之。只见二皇嫂一丝不挂，糜夫人正与甘夫人亲嘴。糜夫人本糜竺之妹，富态尊贵，白胖丰腴；甘夫人颇有诗风词韵，风流才女也。
二夫人久不得刘备眷顾，今又受流亡之苦，寂寞甚矣。遂褪去衣物，自相抚抱，以解饥渴。云长年近四十，尚未娶妻，见了此景不由面红耳赤，忙忙回避。
然壮年男儿，又无家室，怎不心动？复窥之，见二嫂抚抱甚密，不住亲吻，浪语淫相自不必说了。
关公不忍离去，俯身偷看，只觉气息急促，胯下火热坚挺。二嫂相交愈急，如鱼得水：甘夫人善解风情，调教糜夫人大呼小叫，启红唇，吐香舌，散云鬓，露肥白……贴胸交股，握乳搂臀，朱唇烈焰，星眼微睁。
览不尽的摄人魂魄风流态，听不完的撩人心脾浪语声。
云长一时没了主意，握了胯下“关王刀”，几欲闯进房中一阵厮杀。正在左右为难，忽见后房有一人影闪过。云长疑是歹人，按剑观之，却是曹操！关羽大惊，见操亦在偷窥。孟德轻唤关公曰：“云长禁话，速来。”
关羽曰：“丞相，来此何干？”
曹操轻声告之：“休要多言，且看皇嫂的春宫图。”
关羽不敢多问，遂与曹操一同观之。房中二嫂浪声愈淫，房外二人阳具愈挺，大呼一声，四人俱射，精流满地。曹操笑曰：“云长可知其中的奥妙？我料二嫂不日必是公胯下坐骑。操已尽兴，云长好自为之，不可坐失良机。”即拂袖而去。
关公呆了半晌，热血沸腾，欲罢不能。苦守一夜，次日去见曹操，告曰：“关某愚墩，还望丞相指点迷津。”
孟德大笑：“云长世之英豪，竟无良策？”
云长愧曰：“某武夫耳，恳求丞相妙计。”曹操低声教之如此如此，可一亲二夫人香泽。云长大喜，拜谢而去。
不数日，已到许昌。曹操分拨一宅与关羽居住，又送金帛美女。云长谢过丞相，每日于二嫂门前曰：“嫂嫂安否？”二嫂问罢皇叔情形，曰：“叔叔自便。”
关羽方敢离去。一日，关公闻二嫂啼哭，速往问之，安抚良久，又令侍女尽心侍侯，方回。来日复与二嫂抚慰，送些锦绣布帛，贵重补品，以结其心。之后屡次安抚嫂嫂，和颜悦色，使其无忧。二嫂亦感云长情义，常令云长一同用膳，倾诉离情别绪，渐渐毫无介意，无话不谈。
曹操因关羽马瘦，赠之赤兔马。云长乘赤兔回府。糜夫人见之，忘情呼曰：“叔叔好丰采也！”云长慌忙答礼。
糜夫人自知失口，面红耳赤。甘夫人笑曰：“叔叔得此战马，如虎添翼，神勇无敌矣！”竟龋嚎绢要为云长拭汗，云长惊得无措，急忙双手接过，低头称谢。
旁人亦曰：“关将军神勇无敌，又与皇嫂亲同骨肉，实令人羡。”
当夜，关羽坐立不安，径往二嫂院中，于门外告曰：“嫂嫂安否？小弟在此伺候。”
二夫人曰：“叔叔请进，骨肉之亲，不必避嫌。”
关羽遂入，喝退左右侍女，曰：“今日蒙嫂嫂关爱，小弟感激不尽。”
糜夫人笑曰：“叔叔说哪里话，俺们女流，因见叔叔丰采，情不自禁也。”
甘夫人亦笑：“叔叔乃世之英雄，得叔叔萌护，实为万幸。向日几欲遭殃，若非叔叔自贬降曹，我等岂能活命？”
关羽俯首曰：“嫂嫂过誉，小弟不敢当之。”
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