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新西游记(09)

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上回说到三藏来到了五行山下,离着远远地就听到有人高声呼喊:“师傅!师傅!你可来了!”三藏寻声望去,却什么都看不到!以为自己听错了!还是继续前行。

“师傅!你怎么不答应俺老孙呢?我在这里!在山底下压着呢!”

三藏这回可听清楚了,急忙靠近山脚,果然看见一个像是猴子的东西被压在山下,可奇怪的是,这个猴子是仰面被压,山离地还有两尺的距离,再仔细地一看,可不得了了,只见这个猴子浑身裸的,两手两脚被寒铁链固定在地上,全凭借一根长枪在下腹部支棱着,顶在山的正中心,山才没有砸在他的身上!这是什么妖术?看罢此景,唬得三藏掉头就要跑!

“师傅,不必害怕!俺老孙是齐天大圣,因为大闹天宫,所以被如来佛祖压在此山之下已经有五百年了!前几日,观音菩萨经过,告诉俺老孙,说师傅你要到西天求取真精,深怕一路之上妖魔鬼怪伤害了你,所以度化俺老孙保你上西天去觐见如来!”原来,这正是齐天大圣孙悟空!

“可你怎么会是这样受罚?”三藏听罢,稍减恐惧,好奇心却促使他发问。

“唉!”悟空叹了一口气说道,“想俺老孙五百年前大闹天宫的时候,全凭了跨下和掌中的如意金箍棒,搅得天庭是人仰马翻!哪知道,被二郎神的啸天犬咬了一下,俺下面这根枪就一直支棱着,影响了俺的行动,被太上老君一乾坤圈打在头上,被俘遭擒!什么刀砍斧劈火烧,都奈何不了俺!于是太上老君那个老儿,将俺投进他那八卦炉内淬炼了七七四十九日,本以为能够将俺老孙炼化,哪曾想,俺老孙不但没有受到丝毫伤害,反而炼成了火眼金睛,而且下面的这根枪也淬炼得伸缩自如,如意万变!对了,师傅,可不可以先将俺老孙放了出来,俺再详细地向您老人家汇报工作?”

“噢……阿弥陀佛!贫僧听得入神竟把此事给忘了!可要如何解救与你呢?贫僧手中无有斧凿,怎样才能把你放出来呢?”三藏犯难了!

“师傅!不必担心,你凑近前来观看!”

三藏闻言急忙上前观看。

“师傅,你看在俺的长枪根部,佛祖贴了一道敕文在,使俺的家伙,不能软倒!支撑着这座大山!您把它揭了下去,俺就可以脱困了!”

“不行不行!贫僧一将它揭下,那山还不压死你啊!”

悟空闻听内心感激,确认三藏的心地良善:“不怕,师傅!你一揭下符咒,俺老孙手脚上的铁链就会失去作用,俺老孙自然有法子不损分毫地出去!您不必担心!”

三藏听说,心想本也无法,只好姑且一试了#旱话间,三藏对着悟空的鸡巴跪了下去,嘴里还念念有词!吓了悟空一跳!再一听三藏嘴里说出的话,悟空不禁差一点笑出声音!

“阿弥陀佛!佛祖慈悲,如果您确实想让悟空成为我的弟子,就让我能够揭起这个符咒!佛祖啊!贫僧手无缚鸡之力,确实需要一个本领高强的徒弟,您老人家最好答应,否则的话,贫僧诅咒你永世不举!阿弥陀佛,善哉善哉!”

悟空心道,还善哉呢!师傅你可够狠的!哈哈!如果佛祖不举,那会是什么样子?嘿嘿!这个时候,佛祖在西天打了一个喷嚏,心中恼恨,心想这是谁在骂我!急忙掐指一算,原来是三藏!佛祖哭笑不得,要知道,那个时候诅咒是管用的!佛祖被人诅咒也一样要应誓!佛祖见三藏发此毒誓,心中惴惴,急忙派遣八大金刚前往五行山,揭掉符咒(看来是男人就怕不举啊,哈哈!)!

这边三藏刚拜完,刚要上前揭下符咒,一阵清风吹过,只见符咒飞上了半天空!天空中若隐若现的出现几位神人,只听:“我等受佛祖法谕,揭此符咒!命悟空保三藏西天取经!”

三藏闻言急忙往空叩拜!众神驾云返回交旨不提!

“师傅!您往后走得越远越好!俺老孙就要出来了!”

三藏慌慌张张地朝后退去,直走出有五里地,才听悟空说够远了!只听“咔啦!”一声大响,只见前面的大山已经一分为二!砂石尘土漫天飞舞,三藏重又上前,半空中一声唿哨,只见悟空赤条条地从天而降,跪倒在三藏面前!

“多谢师傅!弟子孙悟空前来报到!”

“快快起来!”三藏急忙搀起悟空。

“师傅!”悟空捂着下体说道,“弟子不雅,赤身露体!怎么办?”

“没关系!贫僧的包裹里还有几件替换的衣物,你去看看是否合体!”

悟空急忙叩谢,欢天喜地地打开包袱,见里面有几件洗得发白的衣服,随便挑了一件穿在身上,虽然略显宽大,但也总算免去了的尴尬!

穿好衣服,师徒二人找了个干净的地方坐下,悟空继续给三藏讲述他闹翻天宫的经历。

“师傅!俺老孙跳出太上老君的八卦炉之后,撤出金箍棒,杀得天兵天将抱头鼠窜,连玉帝老儿都吓得钻进了王母娘娘的裤裆里,俺老孙见那王母的裤裆鼓出一大块,也没有细想,让那玉帝老儿逃过了此劫!可是,老孙的下体经过那八卦炉的历练,搞得坚硬如铁,就想发泄,正想扒了王母的衣服搞她几个回合,哪里知道,一边的宫女奋不顾身地脱衣上前接战,这才保住了王母的清白!”

三藏听到此,直念:“阿弥陀佛!罪过!罪过!”可还是忍不住要继续听下去!

“后来,俺老孙挺动俺的肉棒,就在那天宫正殿之上,将那几个宫女干了个死去活来,您也知道,神仙是不许干那种事的,那几个宫女在被俺老孙干过后,本来玉帝要嘉奖她们奋不顾身护主,要给她们颁发十字勋章的!可是怎么也找不到她们了!原来,她们几个被俺老孙干得尝到了滋味儿,偷偷下界去了,您说好笑不好笑!”

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