8心生隔阂（2）
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这个世界的‘尊卑’观念比我前世所在的那个世界的古代社会还重了不知道多少倍。我在这里已经十多年了，这个我当然是懂得的，但是哥哥能在第一时间就反应到我娘亲的失言，说明……在他的心底……这种尊卑观念已经根深地固了。
在这样的观念下，我在他的心里的位置……是不是，也只是他无聊时的一个低贱的玩物？
什麽‘妹妹’‘哥哥’！他在正式的场合连看我的眼神都是冰冷的，更何况是承认我这个妹妹？这也说明我们私地下的‘哥哥’‘妹妹’在他的心里根本就不占什麽重要地位。只有我这个大傻瓜才会认为他和我一样把我们的兄妹情意看得很重要！
我抬眼冷睇被风吹地‘哗哗’直响的柳树枝条，淡淡道，“谢过‘少爷’的相护之恩，‘奴婢’永记心内不敢有忘──啊！”我话还没有说完就被哥哥双掌抓痛了双臂。
她话里句句带著的‘奴婢’‘少爷’狠狠的刺得他的心阵阵发痛！
他痛心地看著她，低哑说道，“哥哥平素里是个怎麽样的人，殊儿你应该是明白的。现在却故意拿了小事来气哥哥。哥哥在你心里到底算是什麽？”
不在大堂上表现出对她的亲昵，那是因为他以前为护著是殊儿，隐瞒了父亲太多的事情。若是让父亲知道他有事情隐瞒於他，难免会让父亲对他心生芥蒂。这样一来对他将来的前途和事业会是很大的阻碍。为了今後更多的厉害关系，他只有苦苦忍耐著。所以，昨天早上当殊儿被妹妹刁难时，他也只能强忍著不替殊儿出头。本以为以殊儿的聪慧应该能理解他的隐忍，没有想到演变成这麽严重的後果！
我苦笑抬眼，喉咙发酸地冷笑，我在他眼里现在又成了个无理取闹的人了？於是我不再装模作样地假恭顺，我本就是个直肠子的人，是带不长假面具的。我直言道，“路遥知马力，遇事见真心。就算平日里你待我极好，但是在我遇事时你不禁对我不闻不问，甚至冷眼看著我被人奚落凌辱的样子……”我吸了吸鼻子，又说道，“人心隔了层肚皮，你是什麽样的人我岂会看得真！”
“奚落凌辱？”他皱眉，“我不知道原来你看这件事情看地如此之重！”殊儿既然用上这麽严重的四个字来形容它。
他轻叹了口气，又缓缓解说道，“这种事情在大家士族里常会发生，这根本就不算是什麽大事情！你现在被父亲发现了，以後还会经常要面对著这些的。”这根本就是很小的一件事情，他不明白殊儿为何要死拿著它来跟他拗脾气？
“小事？尊严都被人践踏了还算是小事？”我气极地甩开他的双掌，飞快了跑出凉亭。
哥哥急忙再次追上来，再次钳住我的手臂，“我与你自小亲密，我本以为你是清楚我的。”
“少爷请放手！奴婢身份卑微，不配与少爷有往来。今後还请少爷不要再来我这边了，要是被爹爹发现了是会影响哥哥的前途和事业的！”我不是傻瓜，虽然前世我活的不长，但毕竟耶是经历过两世人生的人，有些事情我还是能看得明白。我今日的这一番作为，一方面是为了最後一次像‘妹妹对哥哥’那样痛痛快快地发泄心中的对哥哥的不满，另一方面就是故意要找他来吵上这一架的，好让我与他之间的牵绊断得干干净净。
或许，这个哥哥是真心待我好的，但是他有太多的顾虑和野心了。
所以，我也不想强求些什麽，既然我在他的心里不如那些身外事物来的重要，那麽他给予我的这一份廉价的感情我也不想要了……
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