第六十六章 委曲
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李小如一通话，又哭又闹，弄得我心烦意乱，没好气地道：“小如，你怎么又说这些？你到底是来看我的，还是来争风吃醋的？”
“争风吃醋？哼！我也得有那个资格啊？你程大经理现在又是大美人，又是小美人，左拥右抱的，还会把我这个老女人放在眼里吗？”李小如噘着嘴，无限委曲。
我叹了口气，道：“小如，咱们不谈这个了好不好？其实……我正想跟你说呢，你那天问我的那个永远有多远的问题，我已经……明白你的意思了。小如，你……唉！总之是我对不起你，但我还是衷心地祝福你，希望你能早日找到真正属于自己的幸福。”
李小如脸一拉，道：“怎么？才想明白？不好意思，虽然你想明白了，但已经晚了，现在过期作废了！”
我听了急道：“什么什么？你这话什么意思？什么叫晚了？什么叫过期作废了？”
“就是说我又改变主意了！”
“什么？改变主意了？不是说得好好的吗？你怎么……又改了？”
李小如看着我，目光有些哀怨，拢了一下鬓边的头发，凄凉地道：“不错，我生病那几天考虑了很久，也确实想要放弃了。你反正也不爱我，与其让你跟着我一起烦恼，不如我一个人难过算了。那天要不是你去看我，我可能真的不会再烦你了。不过——”
李小如话锋一变，又委曲又痛心地道：“不过今天早上知道你受伤了以后，我就改变主意了！我不去烦你又怎么样？我不去烦你是想你没有我能开开心心地活着！可你还不是受了这么重的伤？程东，我真不知道你怎么想的？你看看你身边这些女人，有哪一个真正为你着想？你老婆要真是爱你，能扔下你一个人去留什么学吗？三年啊！换成是我怎么忍心？还有刚才那两个女人，要真是爱你，怎么会忍心让你受这么重的伤？所以我改变主意了，不管你爱不爱我，我都要留在你身边照顾你。至少，我不会让你受到这样的伤害。”
听了李小如的话，我很感动，但一想到以后无穷无尽的烦恼，立刻垂头丧气了，不断地唉声叹气，想说些什么，一时又不知从何说起。
看着我萎靡不振的样子，李小如又抓住我的手道：“程东，反正你已经接受那两个女人了，也不在乎……再多我一个？我虽然老了，但也不算很委曲你吗？我不要求你给我和她们一样的地位，我只要你把我留在身边，让我能看到你、照顾你就行了，好吗？求你了？”
我心里难受之极，头大无比，一把甩开了她的手，没好气地道：“没见过你这样的人！第三者不说，还甘当第五者？”一句话出口，我立刻就觉得不妥了，这不是等于承认了我和夭夭和小雨间的不正当关系了吗？我只得又转口道：“小如，其实我和她们……真的不是你想的那种……那种龌龊的关系的？”
李小如见我发窘，“扑哧”笑道：“行了行了，看你那样儿吧！是不是那种关系，你也不用急着否认了，要是真的没有，当然……最好。但我要你先接受我，至于其他的，你自己慢慢看着办吧？”
我哭笑不得，这个李小如，好象我已经接受了她似的，还得寸进尺了？我叹了口气，也不想再和她多解释了，于是咬咬牙，语重心长的道：“小如啊，我实话告诉你吧，我对你……真的没有男女之间的那种喜欢，一也没有！感情的事不能勉强的，你已经不小了，该为自己的幸福长远地考虑一下了。你就听我一句，赶快觉悟吧，别再在我这棵没有希望的树上吊下去了，好吗？就算我求你了？”
听了我的话，李小如微张着嘴，一张脸没有任何表情，呆呆地望着我，忽然别过了头，抿着嘴，两行眼泪顺着她的脸颊无声地流下。我心里很痛苦，也知道我的话对她的伤害有多深。但这一次，我没有再退缩，我咬着牙，很平静地望着她，虽然我的心里已在流血。
李小如紧咬着下唇，抬头翻了翻双眼，深深地呼了一口气，忍住没有让眼泪继续流下，又低头默默地从手提包里拿出了一只保温杯，抽了一下鼻子，一双美目眼泪汪汪地，对我道：“我早上熬了粥，快趁热喝了吧，我喂你。”
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