第一章 初识人性
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中原大地，自古以来人杰地灵。话说九十年代末，在一个叫牛蹄县百尖镇的地方，一个叫凌宝宝的十五岁少年正在组织要好的几个朋友集体观看当时在镇上非常时髦，非常兴盛的镭射录像，录像带的内容据说是非常好看，一般男人看了都涎水直流，一般女人看了回家多是纠缠自己的男人照猫画虎，照瓢画葫芦，按照录像里的内容方式方法在床上折腾一宿方罢。
大人间的津津有味的传诵引起了孩子们无限的向往，其中作为家里在镇上第一家拥有录放机的凌宝宝来说，功夫武打片更是看了不少，但是，奇怪的是每逢夜里自己独自在隔壁的房间轻轻入睡时，都会听到父亲母亲那轻轻的探讨声。
“宝宝睡了吗？”凌宝宝一听这是母亲在轻声发问。
“应该睡了，这小子今天疯了一天，你听呼噜打的多香！”父亲很是肯定的说道，显然刚才在自己门外轻声摸索偷听的人就是父亲。于是父亲和母亲会轻轻关上房门，拉上窗帘，诸如此类的神经质行动早被还没有进入到深睡眠的凌宝宝听见，小镇夜晚的是寂静的，门外一片树叶的掉落都难逃凌宝宝的耳朵。
凌宝宝的好奇心战胜了瞌睡，他偷偷爬起来，悄悄推开自己的房门，父母亲的房门已经关闭的严丝合缝，没有丝毫的缝隙可以看见屋里在进行什么秘密活动，只是听到了父亲摆置东西的声音，然后传来的是一些类似于英语的男女对话，凌宝宝很是纳闷，父母亲原来半夜关门实为偷学英语啊，正要走开，忽然听到里面传来了男男女女断断续续一种很痛苦或者按照他当时理解是正在进行一项很特殊对话的活动，只是这种声音是很有频率，很有节奏的，他断断续续只听模糊的类似于英语的“ohyeah!这种声音叫的在门外偷听的他头皮发麻，心跳加速，只感觉身上的某个器官开始像自己打开一把伞一样，轻轻的竟自个撑了起来，而且越来越膨胀，撩拨的他难受，他决定跑到后院，爬到后窗户上看看父母亲到底在观看什么样如此折磨人撩拨人的录像。
他蹑手蹑脚打开后院门，轻轻猫腰钻到父母房间的后窗户下，屏住呼吸轻轻直起身子，幸好，在窗户的角落，窗帘没有遮盖严实，露出了一个细小的狭缝，这个狭缝恰好正对着在一台半矮式立柜上面电视，18寸彩色电视里正在播放着一个令他有些脸红和好奇的画面：一个金发高鼻梁的女人正躺在一个水池边的躺椅上，而一个高大魁梧的肤色很白的男人像狗一样半蹲着，两腿之间露出一根像似农村人洗衣服用的棒槌一般粗壮的东西，凌宝宝自发的就在一瞬间明白了那是什么东西，那个男人要干什么，因为他看过别人家给牛，狗和猪配种，都是那些强壮的公牛，公狗和公猪在主人用手轻轻一番拨弄刺激下，肚皮下会伸出一根或大或小的牛鞭，狗鞭和猪鞭，然后跨骑在那些母牛，母狗和母猪身上，把那些鞭刺入到一个地方，然后屁股做快速的前后动作，他知道这个东西叫交配，就会产生后来的小牛，小狗和小猪。他觉得这个男人和这个女人要生孩子了，所以他们也在进行交配，但是看到和动物交配不一样，电视画面上，那对明显不是中国人的男人和女人正在交配的热火朝天，看着电视画面中那个男的东西一进一出，凌宝宝的像是被敲着麻筋，浑身酥痒的难受，不禁用手在下面抓了几把，谁知道抓了几把竟是出奇的舒服，于是，一边看着电视里那里面羞臊人，兴奋人的画面，凌宝宝一遍使劲抓弄着自己的下面，在抓弄不到一阵时间，凌宝宝的下面就如同尿尿一样留了很多东西出来，凌宝宝吓得赶紧猫下腰，真丢人，看个录像居然尿了，凌宝宝始终为自己刚开始理解的如此幼稚赶到好笑，在初中学了简单的生理卫生后，他知道了这是什么情况了，于是，他开始用一些很文雅的词语来代替自己以前的粗鲁和文盲。比如交配不叫交配，叫，下面那个不叫尿尿叫shè精
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