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第二三二章 韩城攻略

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哪知清颜的撒娇却被秋兰和小雪听了去,她们都拍手欢赞清颜的主意不错,实为安全退敌之绝妙良策,明哲保身之高明绝招。

我暴寒,于是叹气说:“唉,颜颜你们……你们应该知道哥哥只有一个胃,这次我们一行中却有九个女孩子。我是怕到在离开韩国的时候,你们只能推着刚做完胃部缝合手术的哥哥离开汉城啊!”

三个女孩子听了一个个圆睁秀目,异口同声地说:“哥哥,没事的,我们都会推你!绝对不会将这样牺牲自己维护妹妹,这样舍己为人的哥哥丢下不管的!”

我彻底暴寒而倒,于是笑话就完全无法继续下去了。为了以后我的幸福,我觉得自己对这三个小太妹有非常大的必要进行调教一番。

先我对女孩们进行教育说:“无论是中国古代还是韩国现代,都讲究一个尊夫重道的问题,也讲究一个尊重长前辈的问题。你们看,我以后会是你们的丈夫吧?而且我的年纪比你们都要大吧?你们怎么能想着虐待你们的丈夫和前辈呢?这是不对的,是应该去除的不良想法,我看你们是深深受到韩国那部可恶的《我的野蛮女友》那恶毒的泼妇文化影响!同志们,这样的苗头危险啊,你们应该马上就悬崖勒马,绝对不能再向前踏进一步了,否则前景不堪设想啊!”

女孩们将我那义正严词、苦口婆心的讲话完全不当回事,竟然搂着笑得如娇花乱颤。如此美景看得开出租车司机鼻子差就直冒血,而车辆则在高速路上搞起了令人惊心动魄的金蛇狂舞起来,差就出了车祸。

在车辆终于平稳下来后,女孩们再也不敢乱笑了。我则语重心长地说:“姑娘们,看到没有?因为你们竟然如此嗤笑我所说的真理,就差闹出了车祸!我知道你们不能接受我的理论,可是你们想到没有:苦口良药利于病,忠言逆耳利于行啊!”

女孩们又忍不住要大笑,但却不敢出声,只是捂着小嘴嗤嗤地出奇怪的声音。我禁不住好笑,于是问道:“咦,这都是什么声音啊?难道这车里还有老鼠不成?唉,看来韩国的卫生情况也不怎么样啊,老鼠都这么多!”

清颜她们听了终究忍不住,又搂着吃吃地笑了起来,而清颜则不断地在我的胳膊上开始种桃花,还说:“臭哥哥,看以后你还敢骂我们!”

我汗啊,看来我的教育是完全失败了!不过,我还是不甘心自己的努力就如此化作东流水,于是准备继续自己的百年大计,树人为本。这次我决定用些心机来对付这些天真的小女生。老杜有诗云:射人先射马,擒贼先擒王。我知道清颜就是她们这个小团体的主心骨,是她们的方向标,是她们的指南针。那么,只要将清颜这个大魔女降伏了,我的教育伟业就算完成一大半了!

这样一想,于是我决定从清颜那里打开一个缺口,虽然清颜绝对不是什么省油的灯――丫头倔强着呢,而且头脑也灵活得紧!我认真地思考了一会后,拍拍清颜的肩膀问道:“颜颜,你说我们家以后将会怎么过?”

清颜有些疑惑,于是反问道:“这事情还要问我啊?你不是一家之主吗?”

我头说:“哦,原来我就算一家之主啊!那么说我的话在家里应该算话吧?”

清颜一怔,于是头说:“那当然,哥哥你说的话那次又不算话啦?”

我微微一喜,于是说:“那我们家以后定一条夫规好吗?”

清颜愣住了,半晌才摇头说:“哥哥,你不要说了,你的意思我懂。难道说你现在就想违反家规么?违反家规的后果是什么,哥哥应该知道吧!”

我倒,这丫头可真精明啊,我都绕了半天,还是被她一眼给看穿了!为了麻痹她,我连忙说:“哪里啊!我这条夫规其中一就是丈夫必须尊重妻子的权益,应该服从妻子的利益。”

清颜果然中计了,于是好奇宝宝似的问道:“那哥哥你将夫规说给我听听!”

秋兰和小雪闻言也都不由围了过来,齐齐倾听我的“夫规”。

我于是一本正经地说:“夫规:本人乃一家之主。名词解释:一家之主,就是为一家人生计而忙碌奔波,无法休息的苦主。责任:赚钱,赚钱,再赚钱,让爱人荷包鼓胀无限;提供笑话和幽默给爱人,让爱人笑意无限;提供温暖和依靠给爱人,让爱人温馨无限。权益:接受爱人的按摩,是为亲情的表现;接受爱人的亲昵,是为爱意的表现。杜绝出现的事情:夫妻之间相互辱骂,体罚或变相体罚,折磨或变相折磨。嗯,就这些了,颜颜你说好吗?”

清颜似笑非笑的看着我,让我渐渐地觉得毛骨悚然起来,不由自主地哆嗦说:“颜颜,你就别看我了,表个态吧?嗯,我也就是提出个小小的建议罢了。成不成不是看你们这些娘子军的民主表决么?”

清颜还没有说话,秋兰却扑哧笑道:“颜颜,哥哥是被你那扭麻花技术弄得心惊胆颤了呢!”清颜听了于是冷冷的问道:“哥哥,是吗?”

我连忙竭力否认:“哪里有啊!颜颜,哥哥是那样的人吗?你不开心了,不找哥哥泄找谁去啊?就算有人愿意,我还不乐意了呢!”

清颜也扑哧笑着扑到我的怀里,笑说:“臭哥哥,我就不上你的当!我才要保留着镇压反对派的权利呢!嘻嘻!”

我倒,俺什么时候就成了家里的反对派了啊?是啊,为了维护女孩们的安定团结,是得树立一个敌人起来,就像美国佬那般,现在老是拿我们中国说事。而这个敌人除了我,还能树谁呢?佛祖说:我不入地狱谁入地狱?看来黄继光、董存瑞、邱少云我是当定了,呜呼!

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