第一节 今生似被前缘误
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夫妻、子女、过客，中国人似乎都能归到一个缘字。也就因为缘，使我们“见面三分情”、“相逢自是有缘”。怪不得“缘”这个字，左边是“纟”，像是一把丝线，牵着、连着，生生世世。即使有一天遇见了恶妻、恶夫、恶客，失了身，损了财，受了伤，丧了命，都能想：说不定错不在我，只因为我前世的缘!
宋孝宗时入狱的妓女严蕊，面对新上任的审判官岳霖的时候，写了一首词，不就用缘来为自己作了解说吗？
不是爱风尘，似被前缘误。花落花开自有时，总赖东君主。去也终须去，住也如何住？若得山花插满头，莫问奴归处。
我不是自己爱做妓女啊!似乎只因为被前世的因缘误了，花开花落虽然有它的道理，总还得春神来做主……
严蕊用这首词，把自己的过失全推给了“前缘”，居然感动了岳霖，当天“判令严蕊出狱，脱籍从良”。
更不简单的是严蕊因此跻身名词人之列，那句“似被前缘误”，也从此成为许多人的挡箭牌。
让我想起以前的一位女同事。
有丈夫，有孩子，原本幸福美满的家庭，突然之间竟因为那女同事的出轨而改变。
她离了婚，甚至失去探视孩子的权利，常躲在学校附近，等孩子上学，偷偷塞零食、塞钱在孩子手上。
她上班常迟到，眼睛常红肿，但是当大家说只怪那外面的“孽缘”的时候，她居然眼睛一瞪，说：
“那哪里是缘？那天晚宴，我提早离开，他送我，问我要不要去他家参观，我明知道他一个人住，还跟他上楼，我根本知道要发生什么事。那不是缘，那是自找的。”
读《联合报》，圣严法师的《随缘》，写得真好——
……有许多人把“随缘”的意思当成“随便”了。他们以为随缘就是随波逐流、乡愿、没有立场、没有原则，这很糟糕……
往消极面看，缘是被动的，跟随的。
往积极面看，缘是求得的，自造的。
哪个今生的缘，不是前世结的？当我们说“似被前缘误”的时候，有没有想过，当下正在创造一段新缘？当我们说“缘尽”的时候，有没有想过如果重来一遍，那一刻何尝不是缘起？
我那位女同事的话真对。“那不是缘，那是自找的。”
我们都是人，一生中谁没有亏欠？只是几人有幸，能再遇见“他”？有几个人有勇，趁着还来得及，说出那句话？
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