第429章 狗眼看人
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“哎,阿姨,我还要做伴娘,我是伴娘啊……”胖‘女’人开始着急的。
“等等,换了伴娘马上就去,赶紧去找套礼裙来,快去啊!”王菊‘花’朝着司仪叫道。
“换伴娘?来不及了,主持人都上场了,台下已经鼓了三次掌了,看这事闹的……”司仪焦急的说。
“不行,我今天就是要做伴娘,你马上给我找礼裙来。”胖‘女’人盛气凌人的向司仪一指。
司仪一愣,心想尼五老子主持婚礼这么久了,还没见过这种吨位的伴娘呢,你做伴娘不是丢新娘子的人吗?
“你想做伴娘,有你合适的衣服吗?”叶皓轩冷笑道。
“‘混’蛋,你哪个,你哪这样说老娘,你知道老娘是谁吗?你哪个单位的……”胖‘女’人大怒,朝着叶皓轩叫道。
“我不是单位的,我也不知道你是谁,我说了句实话,你不信去问司仪,有她穿的衣服吗?”叶皓轩笑道。
“呃……这兄弟说的倒也是,大姐,真的找不到你合身的衣服!”司仪一愣,这才想起问题的关键来。
“我不管,你马上给我想办法,我最大的愿望就是做一次伴娘,你做不到的话我让你好看。”胖‘女’人大叫道。
“喂,你昨天晚上吃多了吧。”叶皓轩拍了拍胖‘女’人的肩膀。
“你才吃多了,你全家都吃多了,老娘饭量很小的好不好。”胖‘女’人大怒。
“你一定是吃多了,我敢肯定,你现在已经需要上厕所了。”叶皓轩摇摇头道。
“你才上厕所,老娘要等着做伴娘呢,你哪里来的土包子。”胖‘女’人怒道。
“哎哟,一个土包子罢了,别跟他一般见识,没衣服算了,就这样上场。”王菊‘花’在一旁道。
“这样,合适吗?”司仪只感觉到头皮发麻,这个‘女’人的吨位足足比新娘大了三倍,如果让她上场,客人们还看得到新娘吗?他主持婚礼有一手,总是能不经意间把气氛搞起来,一世英名,可不要毁在这个胖‘女’人的手里才好。
“有什么不合适的,老娘最合适了。”胖‘女’人叫道。
“你真的该上厕所了……唔,你吃的太多,我刚才按了你的‘穴’位,帮你消化消化,现在应该要排出来了吧。”叶皓轩看了看时间。
“你去厕所吃……”
胖‘女’人话没说完,她的肚子突然发出一阵咕咕的叫声,紧接着,一阵便意涌了上来,她有种把不了关的感觉。
“不好了,我要上厕所了,你们等我,一定要等我,敢不等老娘让你好看……”
胖‘女’人捂着肚子,匆匆的向厕所里跑去,可是还没迈开两步,她的肚子里又是一阵轰鸣声传来,随即一阵难闻的臭气涌出,她一声尖叫,拼命的向厕所里跑去。
“哈哈……”
这边的几个人忍不住大笑。
“,还伴娘,吃屎去吧你……”司仪小声嘀咕了一声,然后连忙道“赶紧登场吧,没时间了。”
“走……”
王悦和李冉一左一右挽着李小美,向舞台的方向跑去。
“哎,你们站住,给我站住……”
王菊‘花’大怒,但是几个人早就一溜烟似的跑了,只留下她在当场直跺脚。
“走吧,去前面看看。”叶皓轩淡淡的说。
马学超和尚平头,和叶皓轩一起离开。
在轰鸣的掌声中,新娘总算是登台,新婚那天是‘女’人最漂亮的一天,整个婚礼的现场庄严,肃穆,又不乏神圣,这是人生的一道分水岭,预示着一对新人从生命的一端,走向另外一端,重新开始了两个人的生活。
终于,在热烈的掌声中,婚礼食式正式结束。
典礼后的婚宴正式开始,叶皓轩一众老同学被安排到一个不起眼的角落里。
由于李小美的公公是位局长,也是位不大不小的官,所以人脉还算说的过去,在首席坐的都是一些有头有脸的人,婚宴开始后,李小美的公公婆婆轮番敬酒,一来扩展人脉,二来在一些领导的跟前‘露’一下脸。
但是敬酒敬到叶皓轩他们这桌子的时候,李小美的公公不由得一愣,转身向王菊‘花’问“这几位是?”
“她的几个闺蜜,外地来的,几个土包子,别理他们,到另外一边去,免得‘浪’费时间。”
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