第九十七章后悔
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我苦笑一声，心想，菁菁是我妻子，我怎么哄她都不过分的。可你······我真的不知道该怎么样好了。
我正苦恼间，邱解琴先贴了上来，抓住了我两只围在她腰间，轻轻地道：“不会哄，我教你吧。抱着我，就这样我们说一会儿话。”
也许是出于同情吧，我搂她如了怀里，轻叹道；“解琴，你这又是······何苦呢？”
邱解琴也抱住了我，在我耳边呢声道：“就这样，说些悄悄话吧。每次来你都是和我一本正经的，偶而，咱们也说悄悄话，行吗？”
“那······说什么悄悄话呢？”
“恩······你和华菁菁第一次的时候，她是个处女吗？”
“······解琴，说这些干什么？”
“随便聊聊呗，她是的吗？”
“是的，怎么啦？”
“唉！难怪你这么爱她。唐迁，那时候我如果还是个处女，你还会离开我吗？”
“我······不是因为你不是处女而离开你的。当年我说得很清楚了，我是因为爱上了别人。”
“还不是一样？我了解你，如果我的处女之身给你了，那你一定会永远对我负责的。”
“······
“唉！一失足成千古恨啊。唐迁，你知道吗？自从我们分手后，我从来没让任何男人碰过我的身字。”
“······我知道。”
“唐迁，我是个女人，我有时候也很需要的。但我为你守了这么久，你就不能动一下恻隐之新，可怜可怜我？”
“······”
“很难吗？那我再降低要求，我是个女人，我需要男人的爱抚。你不能总让我寂寞难耐时······偷偷跑到浴室里抚摩自己。唐迁，那种滋味真的是很难熬。但是除了你，我又不愿意别的男人碰我，我很痛苦啊。你看，你能不能象当年一样爱抚我？我就这么小要求，而且······等许大明星把那事办妥了后，我就更没有机会了。答应我，好吗？只是爱抚。”
我轻轻叹了一口气，伸出手来，按老习惯抚上了她的脸颊。我明白，做为一个正常的女人，这么多年过着孤枕难眠的曰子，的确难为了她。解琴虽然把一切都寄托在来来身上，但来来毕竟不能代替丈夫。虽然我没有义务和责任满足她的需要，但解琴终究是因为爱我才这样苦闷的。我如果太绝情，真是自己也看不过去。
解琴微笑了起来，与以前一样，她侧着脑袋，享受着我的爱抚，低声道：“真舒服啊！唐迁，只有你，才能让我这么放松。让我······多放松一会儿吧。”
过了很久，她见我只摸她的脸，有些不耐了，抓住了我的手，道；“跟我来。”
说着她把我拖进了浴室，我道：“解琴，到这里干嘛？”
解琴的俏脸有些微红，她顺手关上了门，又拉住了我的手，轻声道：“我怕来来醒来听见，在这儿，象以前一样，好吗？”
说着，她一粒一粒地解开了上衣的扣子，分开来后，里面只穿着一条白色的胸围，事隔多年后，我再一次见到了她身上雪白的肌肤。
此刻我的心里很平静，也没有害怕。我只是双手伸过去，轻轻地为她掩上了衣服，我道：“解琴，有机会碰到好男人，就嫁了吧。你这么委屈自己，让我很不安的。女人，终究要有男人疼才回幸福。我不想看到你为了我而孤苦一生，终老红颜。”
解琴脸上透露出了失望，小声道：“以后的事以后再说，现在我就······需要了，怎么办？难道你忍心我等你走后，痛苦地在这里自己摸自己？”
说实话，我内心很矛盾。我知道邱解琴真地很需要。我也不忍心她继续这样作践自己，但要我这样亲密而深入地爱抚她，一来我心中有障碍，下不了这个手，二来我怕自己回把持不住而犯下大错，真要有那什么，可是后悔都来不及了。
邱解琴伸出手来，围住我的脖子，哀怨在她脸上显露无遗，哀求道：“唐迁，就一次，行吗？我保证下不为例。我也不是真要你与我发生什么，只是非常非常想感受你的温柔。在我做你女朋友的时候，那种温柔我只尝过一次，而且还是半途而废的，这么多年了，我为你吃尽了苦，现在只就求你把那半途而废的一次继续完，这也不行吗？”
在我脑中，顿时回想起我与她交往时的情形。那时候，我虽与她是男女朋友，但其实在一起的时间非常非产少，从那个时候，我就已亏欠她很多很多了。
也不知是我哪根筋搭错了，还是我的歉疚之心压过了良知。我长叹着，伸出一只手分开了她的衣服，道：“解琴，我不知道我以后会不会后悔，但现在我不答应你，我会很难过的。你······不要恨我，好吗？”
“恩”邱解琴惊喜交集，目光顿时迷离了起来，轻轻得唤道：“迁，吻我！”
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