第一百一十八节 得不到就要毁掉
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“我……。”
的确无法兑现了！如果从欧洲回来没有与芊芊的一番交谈，或许我还会去想办法离婚，解散这段有些荒谬的婚姻，但……时间不可能再回到从前，一切都发生了，再去后悔也是晚了。
“我明白了……。”
方琳儿缓缓的俯过身子，将我的头搂抱在她怀里，一双手不住的摩娑我的头发。
“第一次试着去爱一个人，就换来这种结果，我是不是很失败？”
嗅着方琳儿身上的气味，刹那间我曾有那么一刻迷醉，但听到她这种带着些许丧气的话，我还是不自主的抬起头替她辩解。
“不是你的错，一切都是我……。”
但方琳儿并不理会我，仍旧自顾自的说着她的。
“……以前妈妈就常说，得不到的东西，并不是最好的，所以不如就此放手。但我不同意这个观！我爱上了你，为你不惜去改变自己，甚至完全的将以前的一个我抹杀掉……，这个时候让我放手，那根本不可能！”
趴在方琳儿的怀里，感受着她心脏的急促跳动，我下意识的仿佛察觉到了什么，听到她如此说，我缓缓的想要从她怀里脱离。但方琳儿的那双手臂却一一的用力，让我根本没机会挪动脑袋。想了想，我便不再挣扎了，继续听她自言自语。
“在我付出了全部身心，却仍然不能我想要的，那么，不如就此毁了它！让谁也得不到……。”
方琳儿后面的话我都没听下去，我完完全全的被她这句话吓着了。这魔女是什么意思？得不到就毁掉，是在说我吗？似乎是要印证我的想法，我突然感觉方琳儿环住我脖子上的双手紧紧的收了起来，动脉被压迫，以及口鼻被堵塞，让我感觉呼吸一阵困难，我试着用双手去推阻她，但这魔女根本就无视我的动作，相反双臂的力量更加强大了。
会被她闷死吗？看起来方琳儿真的很恨我！不过说起来，也怪不得她会这么做。先不论之前她是因为什么而改变的，只谈在欧洲的那段日子里，我们两人相处的的确很融洽，甚至可以说合拍！也就是在那些时间里，才让我有了想要离婚娶她的冲动！
如今受到我的打击，又了解了我的过往，处于极度心理不平衡之下的方琳儿，回复本来的面目也是无可厚非的。想到这儿，我放弃了挣扎，干脆等着窒息的那一刻来临，然后离开这个世界，这样，也许烦恼就不会如此多了！
方琳儿的双臂仍旧没有松力，我已经感觉到眼前越来越模糊了，然而就在我意识快要消失的瞬间，我却感觉眼前一亮，胸口间被堵塞的呼吸也缓了过来，可我现在还在方琳儿的怀里呢，她那双能扼断骨头的手臂，还环在我的后脖子上！
“怎么会这样？难道……是尚老头儿祖传秘方……。”
想了想，真的很有可能！以尚老头儿医术来说，他研究的东西，应该真的很有效果，虽然听尚荷说，我是第一个做他实验品的人！
我趴在方琳儿怀里没有动，等待着她情绪缓解下来。
一分钟过去了……
五分钟过去了……
终于在十分钟之后，方琳儿猛然的尖叫了一声，用力推开我坐倒在了地上。
“小，小白……。”
方琳儿有些语无伦次，刚才的画面她已经全部都回想起来了，自己竟然要杀人！方琳儿感到一阵后怕，自己怎么会想到要杀了小白？
我望着她面上犹自挂着的恐惧，感到有些好笑。看来这魔女并没有心要杀我，只是刚才过于激动，一时迷了心性而已。
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