1495 人形之潮
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亦或者说，绝望和恐怖存在可以划分的层次？不，我对自己回答，当然是没有的。绝望和极端绝望没有区别，恐惧和极端恐惧也同样没有。对其他人来说，或许习惯于用来描述程度上的不同，但是，“绝望”本就已经是一种最极端的描述，伴随“绝望”而诞生的“恐惧”也同样是最极端的一种。
那么，为什么自己要这么慌张？
啊，是因为，我忘记了什么吗？
可是，就算具体的记忆在不知所以的神秘面前消逝，可是，因那些记忆产生过的情绪，由始至终都没有任何变化。绝望仍旧是绝望，恐惧仍旧是恐惧，没有变成别的什么，也没有淡去的迹象。
有谁说过，人类最古老而强烈的情绪是恐惧，而最古老最强烈的恐惧，便是对未知的恐惧。
从这最古老而强烈的情绪中，我感受到了自己未曾失去的东西。不，应该说，正是因为自己可以强烈的感受到，自己正在失去许多东西，反而让那个一直未曾变化，一直存在，没有被剥离的东西愈加地散发出其存在的质感。
虽然可以感受到，却无法描述。虽然说它就在我的深处，却又无法述说它具体在何处。那仿佛是的深处，也仿佛是意识的深处，又仿佛是描绘试图描述自我本质的灵魂的深处。除了“它是存在的”这一点是已知的，其他任何描述试图其存在的因素都是未知。
它和我之间的联系，仿佛除了绝望和恐惧之外再无其他。绝望和恐惧，就是连接在我和它之间的唯独的两条线，这两条线无形而坚韧，仿佛就是我自拥有生命之后，就一直存在于那里，只是在有的时候，会被忽略过去。恐惧和绝望，仿佛是从它那边传递来的，但又像是我感到绝望和恐惧的时候，才能依循这两条线感受到它的存在。
它是什么？
它是——
“江！”我不由得大叫，我分不清自己的叫喊是带着怎样的情绪，这种情绪是如此的混乱而浓郁，又是如此的充满了即视感。我仿佛有无数次，如现在这般呼唤着这个名字，那么，到底是多少次呢？我记不得了。虽然喊出了这个名字，但我却又完全感觉不到半点“庆幸”和“得救”的感觉。反而，喊出这个名字后，连系在我们之间的唯独的那两条线——绝望和恐惧——以可怕的速度抖动起来。
它在苏醒，仅仅是一次“苏醒”般的活动，就让绝望和恐惧的色彩变得更加活泼而生动，与之相比，仿佛之前那剧烈的绝望和恐惧，都是一种“死物”。
然而，绝望和恐惧的活泼和生动，完全不能让人感到喜悦。
它仿佛就是一个无法描述的，看不清具体形状的巨大之物，从深海下的深渊之中，从那遥远而无穷的黑暗之中，将一只微不足道的触手抬了起来。可是，即便是对它而言微不足道的东西，也完全超出了我所在之处的负荷。
我没能再推开门。我什么都做不了。我所能看到的一切，都在这一刻静止，就连人形之潮也凝固在一个即将落下的姿态上。
那无法形容的红色，就好似染色一样，从空间的某一个点绽放，瞬间吞噬所有。
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