第二章 如梦如幻
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寻着声音我来到了一个大厅里，只见大厅中摆了四五张大台子，满桌的大酒大肉，似乎在摆宴席，桌边坐满了人，有男有女，厅子四周站了许多衣着花哨的女子，韦春芳也在其中，大家都表情紧张，盯着厅子中央空地上站着的十七八名头包白布的大汉，这些大汉手持钢刀，满脸戾气，眼光都对着一扇门。
一名大汉冲着门大喊一声：“贾老六，快滚出来！”
贾老六，对没错，这是鹿鼎记，这个贾老六是天地会的人，我更加确信了我的判断。那这帮家伙一定就是私盐贩子了。
房间里有人哈哈大笑，说道：“老子不姓贾，只是你们这些家伙胡骂天地会，老子听着可不大顺耳。老子不是天地会的，却知道天地会的朋友们个个是英雄好汉。你们这些贩私盐的，跟他们提鞋，抹屁股也不配。”
说话这人一定就是茅十八了，凭着我对《鹿鼎记》原著的熟悉，一下子就认出了房间里说话的人的身份，哈哈，老天真是待我不薄，居然让我从头开始体验韦小宝的传奇经历，老子发了。感谢上天，感谢上帝，感谢我的父母，我还要感谢我的制片人、导演……
作者旁白：停！停！高兴糊涂了吧你，要不是老子，你还在你那小黑屋里趴着呢。谢了半天居然没有我，惹急了把你丫的总回去。
千万不要啊，我还没见到俺朝思暮想的双儿呢，求你了作者大人，让我把故事演完吧。
哗的一声响，把我的注意力从和旁白的交流中拉了回来。只见三名大汉手持钢刀，哇哇叫着，冲着房间破门而入。在一阵唉哟声中，三个人飞了出来，摔了一地，紧接着又有六名大汉冲进房去，乒乒乓乓的一阵响动，六个人又飞了出来，摔在前面倒的三个人身上，大厅里一片唉哟之声。这时无人敢再进去，一名老者走上几步，向屋内张望了几眼，大声问道：“阁下好身手，请问尊姓大名。”
茅十八骂道：“你爹爹姓什么叫什么，老子自然姓什么叫什么。好小子，连你爷爷的姓名也忘记了。”
忽然有个女人“咯咯”一声笑了出来，我转头看去，正是韦春芳。我一愣，想到坏了，好象是原著中要发生什么事了。
果然一名盐贩走上一步，拍拍的两个嘴巴，打的韦春芳涕泪直流，还骂道：“他妈的臭裱子，有什么好笑。”
接下来该我出场了，按照原著写的我应该跳出来对着盐贩破口大骂，可一看这帮家伙个个膀大腰圆，手拿杀人之钢刀，满脸的凶相，我的腿肚子直转筋。虽然我在我们小城里也算是个混混，也没少了打架，可哪见过这种阵势，人家拿的可是大刀啊，不是小流氓用的匕首、板砖链子锁，明晃晃的大刀片子看一眼心里就发怵，更别提跳出来骂人了。
在我正犹豫要不要顺着剧情跳出来的时候，那老者又对着房间发话了：“我们是青帮兄弟，只因天地会一位姓贾的朋友公然辱骂青帮，又说在鸣玉坊中等候我们来评理，因此前来找人，阁下既然不是天地会的，又跟敝帮井水不犯河水，如何便出口伤人？请阁下留下姓名，帮主他们查问起来，也好有个交代。”
茅十八笑道：“你们要寻天地会的朋友算帐，跟我什么相干？我自在这里风流快活，大家既然井水不犯河水，那便别来打扰老子兴头。不过我劝老兄一句，天地会的人，老兄是惹不起的，给人家骂了，也还是白铙，不如夹起尾巴，乖乖的去贩私盐，赚银子罢。”那老者怒道：“江湖之上，倒没见过你这等不讲理的人。”
茅十八道：“我讲不讲理，跟你有甚相干？莫非你现招郎进舍，要叫我姐夫？”
正在此时，从门外又走进三个人来，也是盐贩一般的打扮，同老者耳语了几句，老者从腰间拨出两把短剑，头一摆，四人抢进房去。
只听一阵武器相交之声，接着就是家具碎裂倒地的声音，然后就是一声惨叫，我听得声音不是茅十八的。心想茅十八已经放倒了一名，按原著写的茅十八是在小宝的帮助下才杀掉这四名盐枭，如果我再不挺身而出的话，这小茅子就有可能挂掉，他要是挂了，谁带我去北京？怎么进皇宫？进不了皇宫，怎么遇见康熙？怎么泡上建宁那小浪蹄子，更别提以后那令我魂牵梦绕的双儿丫头了。不管了，为了双儿，老子拼了。
想到这里，我脑袋嗡的一热，抢上两步，俯身捡起一把钢刀，冲进房去。
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