第九十四章 猪八戒
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名为上宝沁金钯，进与玉皇镇丹阙。因我修成大罗仙，为吾养就长生客。勅封元帅号天蓬，钦赐钉钯为御节。举起烈焰并毫光，落下猛风飘瑞雪。天曹神将尽皆惊，地府阎罗心胆怯。人间那有这般兵，世上更无此等铁。随身变化可心怀，任意翻腾依口诀。相携数载未曾离，伴我几年无日别。日食三餐并不丢，夜眠一宿浑无撇。也曾佩去赴蟠桃，也曾带他朝帝阙。
皆因仗酒却行凶，只为倚强便撒泼。上天贬我降凡尘，下世尽我作罪孽。石洞心邪曾吃人，高庄情喜婚姻结。这钯下海掀翻龙鼍窝，上山抓碎虎狼穴。诸般兵刃且休题，惟有吾当钯最切。相持取胜有何难，赌斗求功不用说。何怕你铜头铁脑一身钢，钯到魂消神气泄！”
孙悟空闻言，收了铁棒道：“你这呆子不要说嘴！俺老孙把这头伸在那里，你且筑一下儿，看能不能魂消气泄？”
那猪八戒真个举起钯，着气力筑将来，扑的一下，钻起火光焰焰，震得地动山摇，真是惊天地泣鬼神。但是却不曾筑动孙悟空一些儿头皮。
这些可吓得猪八戒手麻脚软，道声：“好硬的头！好硬的头！”
孙悟空道：“你这九齿钉耙确实厉害，俺老孙大闹天宫也不曾遇到这么厉害的兵刃，不过也是你有所不知，俺老孙天生一副铜头铁骨，后来因为闹天宫，偷了仙丹，盗了蟠桃，窃了御酒，被小圣二郎擒住，押在斗牛宫前，众天神把老孙斧剁锤敲，刀砍剑刺，火烧雷打，也不曾损动分毫。又被那太上老君拿了我去，放在八卦炉中，将神火锻炼，炼做个火眼金睛，金刚不坏。不信，你再筑几下，看看疼与不疼？”
那猪八戒道：“你这猴子，我记得你闹天宫时，家住在东胜神洲傲来国花果山水帘洞里，到如今久不闻名，你怎么来到这里上门子欺我？莫敢是我丈人去那里请你来的？”
孙悟空道：“你丈人不曾去请我，因是俺老孙弃道从僧，保护一个东土大唐驾下御弟，叫做三藏法师，往西天拜佛求经，路过高庄借宿，那高老儿因话说起，就请我救他女儿，拿你这馕糠的夯货！”
猪八戒一闻此言，丢了钉钯，唱个大喏道：“那取经人在哪里？累烦你引见引见。”
孙悟空道：“你见他干嘛？”
猪八戒道：“你有所不知，我本是观世音菩萨劝善，受了她的戒行，这里持斋把素，教我跟随那取经人往西天拜佛求经，将功折罪，还得正果。教我等他，这几年不闻消息。今日既是你与他做了徒弟，何不早说取经之事，只倚凶强，上门打我？”
孙悟空道：“你莫诡诈欺心骗我，欲为脱身之计。若果然是要保护唐僧，略无虚假，你可朝天发誓，我才带你去见我师父。”
那猪八戒扑的跪下，望空似捣碓的一般，只管磕头道：“阿弥陀佛，我若不是真心实意，还教我犯了天条，劈尸万段！”
刘晨道：“且慢，我虽是道门，但与唐僧有缘，救他性命，认他为师弟，与他一同上西天，你把观音菩萨劝你之事细说一遍，若有谎言，我一剑砍了你！”
猪八戒道：“是是是！听我细细道来：
观音菩萨从西天往东土大唐寻找取经人，路过我福陵山，我看到有人路过，正好肚子饿了，便撞上去，不分好歹，对着观音菩萨，举钉把就筑。被木吒挡住，大喝一声道：“那泼怪，休得无礼！看棒！”
我道：“你也是不知死活！看钯！”我两个在山底下，一冲一撞，赌斗输赢。真个好杀一场，我凶猛，他威能。铁棒分心捣，钉钻劈面迎。播土扬尘天地暗，飞砂走石鬼神惊。我那九齿钯，光耀耀，双环响亮；他那浑铁棍，黑悠悠，两手飞腾。
我两个正杀到好处，观世音在半空中，抛下莲花，隔开我俩的兵器。
我见了心惊，便问：“你是哪里的和尚，敢弄什么‘眼前花’哄我？”
木吒道：“你这个肉眼凡胎的泼物！我是南海菩萨的徒弟。这是我师父抛来的莲花，你也不认得！”
我一听，问道：“南海菩萨，可是扫三灾救八难的观世音么？”
木吒道：“不是她是谁？”
我撇了钉把，纳头下礼道；“老兄，菩萨在哪里？累烦你引见引见。”
木吒仰面指道：“那不是？”
我才知道刚才冲撞了观音菩萨，赶紧朝上磕头，厉声高叫道：“菩萨，恕罪！恕罪！”
观音按下云头，前来问道：“你是哪里成精的野猪，何方作怪的老怪，敢在这里挡我？”
我道：“我不是野豕，亦不是老怪，我本是天河里天蓬元帅。只因带酒戏弄嫦娥，玉帝把我打了二千锤，贬下尘凡；一灵真性，下来投胎，不期错了道路，投在个母猪胎里，变得这般模样。是我咬杀母猪，打死群猪，在此处占了山场，吃人度日。没想到撞着菩萨，万望拨救拔救。”
菩萨道：“此山叫做什么山？”
我道：“叫做福陵山，山中有一洞，叫做云栈洞。洞里原有个卵二姐。她见我有些武艺，把我做个‘倒插门’。不上一年，她死了，将一洞的家当尽归我受用。在此日久年深，没有个赡身的勾当。
菩萨道：“古人云：‘若要有前程，莫做没前程。’你既上界违法．今又不改凶心，伤生造孽，却不是二罪俱罚？”
我道：“前程！前程！若依你，教我喝风！常言道：‘依着官法打死，依着佛法饿死。’我去也！我去也！还不如捉个行人，肥腻腻的吃他娘的！管奥摩二罪，三罪，千罪，万罪！”
菩萨道：“‘人有善愿，天必从之。’汝若肯皈依正果，自有养身之处。世有五谷，尽能济饥，为何吃人度日？
我一听这话，似梦方觉，向菩萨道：“我欲从正，奈何‘获罪于天，无所祷也’！”
菩萨道：“我领了佛旨，上东土寻取经人。你可跟他做个徒弟，往西天走一遭来，将功折罪，管教你脱离灾瘴。”
我赶紧道：“愿随！愿随！”
菩萨与我摩顶受戒，指身为姓，就姓了猪，替我起个法名，就叫做猪悟能。遂此领命归真，持斋把素，断绝了五荤三厌，专候那取经人。
”
刘晨听了，点头道：“原来如此！既然如此，你点把火来烧了你这住处，我方带你去。”
猪八戒真个搬些芦苇荆棘，点着一把火，将那云栈洞烧得像个破瓦窑，对刘晨道：“师伯！我今已无挂碍了，你却引我去晨。”
孙悟空道：“你把钉钯与我拿着。”
猪八戒就把钯递与孙悟空。
孙悟空又拔了一根毫毛，吹口仙气，叫“变！”即变做一条三股麻绳，道：“走过来，把手背绑了。”
猪八戒真个倒背着手，凭孙悟空怎么绑缚。
孙悟空却又揪着耳朵，拉着他，叫：“快走！快走！”
猪八戒道：“轻着些儿！你的手重，揪得我耳根子疼。”
孙悟空道：“轻不成，顾你不得！常言道，善猪恶拿。只等见了我师父，果有真心，方才放你。”
于是孙悟空驾云拖着猪八戒，刘晨御剑在旁边，径转高家庄来。
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