一千一百一十一 虎头铡伺候陈平
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看完了来自金陵的飞鸽传书之后，刘辩心情大好，刘裕带来的不快一扫而空，仰天大笑数声，喜悦之情溢于言表。最新地址ltxsba.pw
众臣子看到把皇帝乐成这幅模样，一个个大惑不解，由陈平率先发问：“看陛下笑的如此愉悦，不知喜从何来？”
“咳咳……”刘辩咳嗽一声，清了清嗓子，嘴唇依然合不拢，“朕又做父亲了！”
再有几天便是新年，刘辩于二月底御驾亲征巴蜀，掐指算算离开金陵恰好十个月左右的时间，按照妊娠来说，若是有嫔妃此刻生产应该就是在刘辩出征前的这几日怀了身孕。
“呵呵……原来如此啊，微臣已经猜到了是哪位娘娘生了！”刘辩话音刚落，陈平就猜到了答案。
刘辩愕然，咋舌道：“是么？朕的后宫嫔妃可是有十好几位，朕什么也不说，你就能猜到是哪个生了？”
陈平也不拐弯抹角，直接揭晓答案：“臣猜测十有八九是甄昭媛生了。”
“啧啧……陈卿简直是神机妙算啊！”刘辩忍不住向陈平竖起了大拇指，半是认真半是揶揄的道，“也就是幸亏你跟随朕御驾亲征，否则朕还真的有点怀疑你是不是把朕绿了？送你去试试包拯的虎头铡呢！”
“啊……”
陈平目瞪口呆，猜到了开始却没猜中结局。世人说的果真不假，当真是伴君如伴虎啊，幸亏天子说话的语气看起来像是开玩笑，否则怕是要被吓得做半个月噩梦了。
被刘辩敲打了一顿，陈平不敢再浪了，长揖到地解释道：“陛下切莫拿臣开玩笑，臣之所以轻而易举猜到是甄昭媛生了，只因为陛下是去年腊月纳娶的甄娘娘。不过两个月的时间便把甄娘娘从美人擢升到了昭媛，升迁速度之快后宫从未有之，恩宠一时无两。因为新婚燕尔，陛下在御驾亲征之前，大多数时间都在甄昭媛的寝宫住宿，所以臣才断定生产者必是甄娘娘！”
刘辩撇撇嘴：“好吧……就你聪明，那你说说朕为何这么高兴？到现在为止，朕已经有了将近二十个子女，年龄最长的太子再有几天过了年就十一岁了，朕也不是初为人父，为何竟然高兴至斯？”
“请陛下恕臣愚昧，委实不知！”
陈平头摇的像拨浪鼓，一副丈二和尚摸不着头脑的样子。你当我傻啊，知道我也不说，再被你吓唬几次，弄不好要折几年阳寿了！
刘辩背负双手，发出一串让人难以捉摸的笑声：“陈平啊陈平，你就跟朕耍小聪明吧！你都能猜到是甄氏生了，还能不知道朕为何这般高兴？你可知道欺君之罪是要杀头的？你是不是觉着包拯的虎头铡闲着可惜，想要以身试铡？”
陈平想死的心的都有了，自己是装聪明也不行，装糊涂还不行，合着今天皇帝看自己不顺眼，就是想敲打敲打自己。果然是“媳妇上了床，媒人靠南墙”，你怎么能干出这么忘恩负义的事情来呢，要不是俺把赵家妹子从金陵弄到成都来，这个冬天谁给你暖被窝？
你有张良计我有过墙梯，以陈平的智商自热不会被刘辩难住，长揖到地，把脖子缩进厚厚的棉衣里：“臣最近脑子有些犯浑，一阵好一阵坏，今天忘了吃药，请陛下勿要怪罪。由于最近吃药太多，俸禄已经不够，正打算找陛下借支呢！”
刘辩摇头大笑一声，不再和陈平斗嘴，直接把原委说明：“诸位爱卿，朕刚刚收到的书信，是由七位顾命大臣发来的，说是两日前甄姬生了……”
“恭喜陛下，贺喜陛下！”孙乾、简雍、宇文成都、文鸯等人一起作揖祝贺。
刘辩继续道：“朕做父亲也不是第一次了，但成为双胞胎的父亲却是头一遭。荀文若亲手起草的诏书说了，甄氏在寝宫中诞生下一对男婴，又恰逢新年将至，诸位爱卿说这是不是大喜的事情？”
众臣子恍然顿悟，再次作揖庆贺：“哦……原来如此，怪不得陛下龙颜大悦呢！原来是甄娘娘一胎生下两位龙子，此乃天大的喜事，应当普天同庆。”
刘辩从今年二月出征巴蜀之后，身边没有携带嫔妃，所以后宫中没有添多少子女。只有孙尚香在六月诞生下了丹阳公主刘琳琅，穆桂英在九月份生下了永乐公主刘霓裳，这些都是在刘辩出征之前就挺着大肚子，都在刘辩意料之中。
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