第0421章 救赎
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“放开队长，让他打，这样我心里好受一点。龙腾小说网ltxsba.com”我支撑着身体，满脸苦涩的说道，狼王生气，愤怒，证明还看得起我，还认我这个兄弟，否则早就冷漠而去，那才是真正的绝望。
闪电松开队长扑到我面前，紧紧抓着我的肩膀用力的摇晃着，激动的问道：“你是身不由己的对不对？一定是的，你不可能背叛兄弟，你告诉队长你是有苦衷的，说啊，你说啊，你他吗说话！”闪电见我不说话，自己越说越激动，忍不住抡起拳头砸在我脸上。
“你他吗说话，你是中国特种兵，还记不记得自己的使命？”闪电拽着我的衣领，冲着我咬牙怒吼，通红的眼眶止不住泪流满面。
我依旧沉默不语，事实就是我成为了雇佣兵，任何解释都显得苍白无力，这个结果不可原谅。
“你他吗是个混蛋，老子没你这个兄弟。”闪电猛然站起身，一脚踹在我的侧脸，我扑通一下摔倒在地，张嘴吐出一口血水，然后挣扎着从地上爬起来抹了一把嘴角的鲜血，踉跄着一步步走到他们近前，低着头做出一副认错的姿态。
我不知道我想干什么，求得原谅？重归于好？得到救赎？我不知道自己该怎么做，只觉得就该这样认错，就像曾经犯了军纪受罚一样，罚一顿，揍一顿，一切都过去了。
“还记得你当初为什么会离开军队吗？”狼王气的脸色铁青，满面狰狞的对着我问道。
“记得，我亲手打死了军刀。”我点点头低声说道，那是我心里永远的伤疤，深深缕刻在灵魂深处，一辈子也抹不去的烙印。
“你用特种部队教你的本事，用军刀教你的功夫，去参加雇佣军，去到处杀人放火，难道你不知道我们和雇佣兵水火不相容吗？你怎么对得起军刀？”狼王声音都变得沙哑，双目几欲喷火，印象中他从没有这样失控和发怒的时候，就连狼牙他们都吓得不敢吱声。
见我不说话，一副要杀要剐任凭处置的样子，狼王更是气不打一处来，沸腾的怒火无处发泄，猛地一脚踹在我肚子上，巨大的力道直接将我掀翻在地，然后冲过来一顿拳打脚踢，我抱着脑袋一声不吭，任凭打骂。
听完这番话，大家相互看了看，狼王沉默了一下，上前抓住我的手，道：“既然这样，那就跟我回部队，我相信旅长会有更好的解决办法，从此以后不可以再和雇佣兵来往。”
狼王说完拉着我转身就要走，我站在原地一动没动，他皱了皱眉用力一拽，想要强行把我拉走，我却突然发力把手抽了回来。
“对不起狼王，我不能跟你回去，你应该明白，我是个佣兵，再也回不去了。”这一刻，当着所有人面说出这句话，顷刻间泪如雨下。
狼王当然知道这一点，只是不愿意面对而已，他痛苦的抬起头，深深叹了口气，默然转身向远处走去。
大家都是军人，谁都明白我这种身份是不可能得到部队的信任，就算是回去做一个普通老百姓，也会被二十四小时监控，甚至可能直接送进军事监狱，不可能再有机会穿上军装。
眼见着狼王离开，其他人看了我一眼，各自摇头叹息着走到了远处，场中只剩下我和一直没有说话的龙心。
这个时候，她满眼泪水的看着我，一步步走到面前，没有责备，没有唾骂，也没有生气和愤怒，只是扑到我怀里放声痛哭，她哭的撕心裂肺，肝肠寸断，却让我心痛如绞，心如刀割。
眼泪浸透了迷彩沾染在皮肤上竟让我有种炽烈的灼烧感，我最不敢面对的人，最害怕看到的人就是龙心，我宁可她一枪把我毙了，宁可她对我失望，绝望，恨之入骨，也不要她继续执着下去而伤心难过。
从我加入佣兵那一刻起，我们之间就已经出现了难以逃避的界限，就像脚下的边境一样，成为一道不可逾越的鸿沟，将我们彻彻底底的分离在两个不同的世界，她不会背叛，我也回不到原点，我们走着不同的路只会越走越远，不可能的爱情，不该有的执着，是时候结束了。
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