第十一章 我不是韦小宝 我也会忽悠人
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天牢里没有白天的黑夜的分别，结束了与崔鹏交谈的张扬好好的睡了一觉，起来后就一直傻傻的靠着墙角，思索着该怎样逃出这个地方。龙腾小说ltxsba.
他首先想到的就是自己能够像《九品芝麻官》里面的星爷一样，能够直接从牢门的缝隙里钻出去，然后不屑的指着其他的牢犯叫骂，可惜的是他没有星爷纤细的身材，也不会缩骨功，而且天牢里就他和崔鹏两个人，显然电影里的情景是很难再现的。
然后他又想到了《越狱》，只可惜他怕苦也怕疼，身上除了抽烟时不小心烫到的伤疤之外，平时连被蚊子叮一下都要难过半天，显然是不能指望自己在身上纹上一幅天牢地图。
最后他想到了崔鹏，以崔鹏深不可测的计谋，还有高深的武功，若是有他相助，或许两个人就能想出一条越狱的妙计。只是他一想到崔鹏被关入这个地方几年，都未能够逃出去，而且崔鹏身负血海深仇，离开的这里的肯定比自己强烈，如果他能有办法，早就出去了，又何苦在这里陪蟑螂老鼠呢？
此时此刻的张扬多么想高唱一首《铁窗泪》，以能够换取道宽大处理的机会。让人不得不为他掬一把同情之泪。
正当张扬酝酿好情绪，准备抒发一下他的悔过之心时，远处突然传来了“噔噔”的熟悉声响，张扬心头顿时惊道“完了，肯定是李黑脸又下牢房慰问囚犯了！”
张扬急忙躺在墙角装死，然后眯着眼睛注视着牢门口。
片刻之后，火把带着亮光照亮了黑暗的天牢，紧接着牢门外一个熟悉的声音嘟囔道：“李黑脸真不是个东西，本来大爷我潇潇洒洒的在这天牢里，每天什么都不用干，偶尔换个班还能去‘夜冷春香’楼和小蛮那个小蹄子温存一番，结果倒好，现在竟然成了伙夫小二。哎，算了，反正那个刺客也活不了几天了，我就忍耐一下吧！”
话落片刻，牢门外便出现了狱卒猥琐的身躯，只见他手提竹篮，隐隐有香味从其中飘散而出，显然是奉了李黑脸的吩咐为张扬送饭来了。
狱卒一副十分不情愿的样子走到牢门前，放下竹篮，从里面端出了一盘米饭和一盘小菜，然后从牢门的缝隙中塞入，做完这些，他提着竹篮转身便要离开。
张扬一开始以为是李黑脸驾到，无奈之下只有装死避难，只是却不想盼来的却是狱卒大哥，张扬心中那个激动呀，眼泪哗哗的。
脑中念头急转，顿时有了计较，只待狱卒打开牢门，进来送饭，张扬便猝然发难，从狱卒身上拿到钥匙，进而逃之夭夭。
却不料狱卒并未打开牢门，听到狱卒急急忙忙离去的脚步声，张扬心里顿时心急如焚。这时，张扬心中闪过了无数电视剧中各种忽悠人的桥段，突然，画面定格在一个伟岸的身躯上，这个人曾经坐拥七美，这个人曾经周旋于各大势力之间，这个人不会武功却常常能忽悠到各种武林高手，他是无数男人心中的偶像，你千万不要想错，他不是陈冠希，他不会自拍，他就是独一无二的韦小宝！！
一想到韦小宝，张扬顿时计如泉涌，这个狱卒一看就是贪财好色之徒，引诱他最好的办法便是告诉他：哥，我要死了，我外面有很多钱，花不了，我外面有很多妞，玩不动，麻烦你替我把钱花了，把妞泡了吧！”
略微想了一下说辞，张扬急忙装出一副很哀愁的语气，大声说道：“哎，看来明天就要上路了，连最后的晚餐都给我准备好了，奈何啊，奈何，到时奈何桥上，孟婆汤前，我那些个如花似玉的娇妻美妾，要我如何跟她们说再见呀！早知道就不接这档子差事，如今赚了大把的银子都没命花。”
话一说完，张扬便听到刚才急促离去的脚步声忽然停了下来，显然是狱卒大哥闻到了诱饵的香味！但是狱卒大哥并未往回走来，一直停留在原地，显然是在思量这个诱饵该吃还是不该吃。
张扬看他如此反应，心中冷笑道：“我就不信你不上钩，看哥哥给你加猛料！”
于是他对着崔鹏方向大声说道：“对面那个，你想好没有，你我也算有缘，若是你有什么亲近之人，我把这些东西都交付于他，这样一来我就算死，也能死而无憾了。”
崔鹏在之前与张扬一番长谈，更兼将多年来的抑郁之情与张扬抒发，难得的睡了一个好觉，狱卒进来之时他便已醒来，此时听到张扬如此说话便已知张扬心头所想。
于是崔鹏对着张扬那边冷笑道：“笑话，老夫当年何等风光，会在乎你那东西，你爱送谁送谁去，老夫不是要饭的，当不得你的施舍！”
张扬起初还担心崔鹏不明白自己的意思，不过崔鹏这番话一说出来，顿时让张扬有了更多的发挥空间，心中不禁对崔鹏大为叹服。
“话不能这么说！”张扬搭好了戏台，幻想自己手执折扇，迈着步子，走上台来，与对面的崔鹏一起，对着观众席上的狱卒唱着一出忽悠双簧。
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