36、又相逢
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哲哲一时心软，想让他们私下叙叙，便对多尔衮道：你那屋子，如今是玉儿住着。苏茉尔，好生陪着你家格格和十四爷，瞧瞧槐花儿去！
苏茉尔应声道：是。
大玉儿的心中怦怦直跳，神情犹豫，她抬眼看着哲哲，观察她的反应。
哲哲和蔼宽厚地一笑：去吧！看了花儿就回来。
大玉儿偷偷瞥了多尔衮一眼，正撞着他火热的毫不掩饰爱慕之情的眼神，连忙闪避。清宁宫小跨院里，多尔衮和大玉儿心潮翻滚，万语千言无法诉说，只能是相对无言。
苏茉尔在小跨院门口，假装忙东忙西，其实是在把风放哨。
大玉儿低头来到槐树下，一阵和风吹来，花瓣纷纷飘落。她觉得这飘零的花瓣就像自己曾破碎的心，碎了就无法再拼凑完整。一个刻骨铭心的影子和一阵耳熟能详的脚步声逼近，她心头的小鹿茫然无措，被爱的力量逼得娇柔无力。那影子在她跟前停住，她抬起头看着这个让她柔肠寸断的男人。两人互相凝视着，逐渐泪水盈眶，终于，他们挣脱一切伦理的束缚，死死相拥，像要深深楔入对方的心灵。
他们沉默地体会着对方相拥着。半晌，大玉儿哽咽道：多尔衮，我们……回不去了……
多尔衮想吻她，大玉儿却轻轻挣脱，退后两步，转身拭泪。
多尔衮伤感地说道：玉儿，让我看看你。下次见面，又不知是什么时候了！
大玉儿神色黯然，流泪道：见面……又何必呢？有限温存，无限辛酸……还是不见的好。
多尔衮转头望见窗内屋中的陈设，心中凄然，不禁喃喃道：这就叫……“别时容易见时难”……
大玉儿努力将心碎的愁绪抽离，定了定神，抬头冷静地对多尔衮道：不过，我还是感谢上天给我机会，让我见你这一面，因为，我有很要紧的话要告诉你！
多尔衮一怔，忙问：什么要紧话？
大玉儿郑重地说道：大汗已经决定，要从年轻的小贝勒当中，挑出资质好的，加以栽培重用，为的是要分散大贝勒们的权力。多尔衮，你要好自为之，这是你崭露头角的大好机会！
多尔衮有些失望，他沉默着，神情迟疑复杂。
大玉儿上前抚着他的臂膀，恳切道：我太明白你了！你有志向、有才干，绝不会甘心只做个富贵闲人。我要你帮助大汗，一是为你，二是为大金国，三是为了老百姓。大汗的许多理想并没有错，如果能实现，不但于你有利，于国、于民，也有益。
多尔衮痛苦地：可是，要我帮助大汗，我心里实在是……
大玉儿劝道：就算只为了你自己的前途，暂且把仇恨放在一边吧！
多尔衮沉默半晌，方道：玉儿，你老实说，你要我帮助大汗，真的是为了我？还是为了他？
大玉儿一怔，恼怒道：你会这么问，就证明……咱们是白好了！
大玉儿转身要走，多尔衮忙拉祝糊：玉儿别走！
大玉儿冷淡地：既然你不相信我，还有什么好说的！
多尔衮苦恼、悲愤地：要我怎么敢相信你呢？我跟你，连见上一面都千难万难；而他，他能跟你朝夕为伴，他是你的丈夫！你不知道我有多害怕，怕你会一天天地偏向他，一天天地忘了我！
大玉儿强忍泪，哽咽地道：你……怎么可以这样想？
多尔衮悲声道：如果你跟我一样，在外头听见他有多宠爱你、多体贴你，你也会忍不住这样想！
大玉儿流着泪问道：你又要我怎么做，才能让你相信我呢？
多尔衮心如刀绞，悲伤地道：我相不相信你，你还在乎吗？时间……慢慢地过去，如今我这个人在你心里，是什么呢？或者……什么都不是？你丈夫是大汗，我只是一只……稍不留神就会被他捏死的蚂蚁。我的处境，就仿佛站在旷野中，四顾茫茫，无边无际，我始终只是孤零零一个人……
大玉儿咬着嘴唇道：我说过，我不会丢下你的！
多尔衮痛苦地说道：我相信你不至于欺骗我。可是，我担心，连你自己都已经分不清，在你心里谁轻谁重，而你真正为的又是谁了！
大玉儿默然半晌，淡淡地道：既然我没法子把心挖给你看，再怎么多说，也是没有意义的。
大玉儿又要走，多尔衮拉祝糊，盯着她美丽纯洁的眼眸，内心痛苦挣扎着。他咬咬牙，下决心道：罢了！既然你要我听从你，我就听从你！再为难的事，我也做！
大玉儿摇头道：不要听从我，听从你自己的心！如果你心里仍然有猜疑，如果你不再相信我，就用不着为难了，权当我今天什么都没说吧＃糊风一样飘着离去，多尔衮在槐树花瓣中苦恼地挣扎着。
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