第三十八章 澜惠反思
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澜惠一路坚持着走回了阿哥所，回到屋内后就直接坐在了椅子上沉默下来，姜嬷嬷等人头一次看见澜惠这个样子，心里都不由自主的感觉到以前那个和气的福晋不见了，在其周围竟也有了威严的气场。最新地址ltxsba.xyz
这时张嬷嬷从外面直接进来，嘴里慌张的说道：“福晋，太后娘娘派春嬷嬷来看宋氏了，奴婢看春嬷嬷的面色可不太好。”刚说到这些就见屋内的姜嬷嬷等人连连向她使眼色，而一向爱笑的澜惠也顾自沉默着，仿佛根本没听到她的话一样。
张嬷嬷看了屋内的这个状况连忙闭上了嘴，恭敬的站到姜嬷嬷身后。片刻后，澜惠低着头吩咐道：“你们都出去吧！”张嬷嬷还想说什么，不过被姜嬷嬷盖住嘴拉到了屋外。
“你拉我干嘛啊？福晋怎么了？我伺候着福晋这么多年，还没见过她这个样子呢？是不是出了什么事了？”张嬷嬷一出屋就悄声的问着姜嬷嬷，姜嬷嬷只好把她拉到一边说了起来。
屋内的澜惠这时也动了起来，她脱掉了花盆底，双腿蜷在一起，双臂环着双腿整个人窝在椅子中默默的哭了起来。今天发生的一切彻底把她从自己编织的美梦中惊醒了，让她第一次体会到了宫中生活的艰难，也让她知道她进宫后做出的这些事有多么可笑，竟然幻想着教导十四能扒上德妃，得到她的另眼相看，现在还不是一有事就把之前的好都变成坏了！
而且宋氏的事也完全是好心变坏事，全是她对自己太自信了，竟然连说话都没有了忌讳，只是一心以为自己很伟大，很贤惠，连怀孕的小妾都照顾这么周到，完全忘了宫中还有人在找她的麻烦，没事都能编出事来，何况澜惠犯了这种低级错误。
澜惠想到这些渐渐的收了泪，自言自语的说道：“澜惠，别忘了你如今生活在清朝，不是那个言论自由的现代了。也别忘了你住在宫中，不是自家费扬古府邸了。更别忘了你嫁的是胤禛，不是一个爱你宠你相信你的男人，而是一个有着众多兄弟姐妹，众多各怀心思的小妈，将来还要有众多老婆儿子的男人。在这样的环境下你只能把自己当成其中一员去适应、去学习，把身为穿越者的那种优越感和善心都扔掉吧，它会害死你的。”
澜惠点了一下额头的红痣，手中就多出一面镜子来，这是一面水银镜，能把澜惠清晰的照出来。她看着镜中的自己，抚摸了一下额头的红痣，喃喃说道：“我还有你，我的空间，咱可不是任人欺负的女人，逼急了我把她们都关到空间里，让她们一辈子出不来。”发泄一番澜惠也出了点气，她感受着已经逐渐好转的双腿，穿上了花盆底后，高声说道：“姜嬷嬷，张嬷嬷，你们进来。”
在门口焦急等待的姜嬷嬷两人走了进来，两人也不敢抬头看澜惠，都低着头恭敬的站着。澜惠打量一番两人，淡淡的开口说道：“姜嬷嬷检查一下院里的奴才，看看有没有突然失踪的或者有问题的回头报给我。重点看当天接触过李太医的和在宋氏那里伺候的奴才。”说完瞥了姜嬷嬷一眼，说道：“下次我做错什么你要时刻向我禀报，没事少和院里那些个奴才吃酒打牌，弄得自己整天晕晕乎乎的。知道吗？”
澜惠最后一句已经说得十分威严了，吓得姜嬷嬷连忙跪在地上磕头道错。澜惠也没理她，转过头来看着张嬷嬷，张嬷嬷是从小就伺候澜惠的，对澜惠十分忠心，不像姜嬷嬷是半道来的，只不过看澜惠好伺候想下半辈子有个依靠而已。只是张嬷嬷人直了点，花花肠子没有姜嬷嬷那么多，所以澜惠想想后吩咐道：“张嬷嬷就出宫回家一趟！把这事原原本本的告诉阿玛额娘，再帮我传个信，就说我现在挺好，叫二老不用担心，继续过自己日子就行，还有让我阿玛好好查查李太医还有他的家人，看他们最近有没有什么异常的地方。”
说完澜惠又起身从梳妆台下的小抽屉里拿出一包药材，递给姜嬷嬷说道：“这个拿回去给二老吧！叫他们好好补补身子，都是我这个不孝的女儿连累了他们。”
说完澜惠挥挥手叫她们退下了，姜嬷嬷也从地上颤颤歪歪的站了起来，额头也磕的红肿起来。她知道澜惠并不十分信任她了，这次叫她办事也是看在没人用的份上，也许等出宫后澜惠就会把她荣养起来了。
两人退出屋子后，澜惠又叫笔墨纸砚四婢进来，直接吩咐道：“笔儿墨儿两个稳重些，平时管理下所里的下人，特别是我院子里的，叫她们不许碎嘴，不许赌钱耍乐，平时干完活就回自己屋子里去，如果有谁在清闲时乱窜，就直接撵走。我平时对她们稍微纵容些就不知道天高地厚了，以后一律按规矩行事，你俩帮我看好了，至于我这边由纸儿砚儿伺候就好。”
澜惠想了想后又说道：“咱们府里带来的人不多，你们注意些有没有特别衷心的，有的话就来回我，我亲自提拔她们。好了下去吧！纸儿砚儿留下。”笔儿和墨儿闻言退了出去。
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