第 23 章
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“看你因为沈放外遇的事离婚我就知道。只这半年你钱也没少往家里寄，你爸爸先前心里一直存疑，只是怕说出来你不高兴。今天沈放说的事儿我都没告诉他。”韩母叹气，“你自小虽心气高，性子也强，但变故太多，我们就怕你会做什么糊涂事。”
佳音一时怔住，想这半年多来跑业务的艰难，有几分是能和人道的？倒底是不想母亲担心，勉强笑笑说：“我换了岗位，奖金多了。”
“这样最好。”韩母微不可察地叹气，“妈妈相信你的。只是那姓林的是什么人？看上去很关心你。”
“……同事罢了，……老大哥一样的，老乡呢，平日很关照我。”佳音说，连自己都未必明白为什么要撒谎，或者只因为一时难于解释，“我回来的急，还托他给请假来着。”
“哦”。韩母应道，算是了解。转回房间拿了包玉米粉出来。
“你爸爸……这两天什么都吃不下去了。”韩母把粉倒进碗里，加了些水，一边搅拌一边说，她的声音很平静，像是接着刚才的闲话家常，有一种已看透一切的淡然。
佳音正想把热水倒在盆里洗肉，闻言手抖了抖，有水流出来落在拖鞋上，冒出一串热雾。
“你要有心理准备，音音，你爸爸病了也有些日子了，发现的时候就是晚期，能拖到今日，医生都说是奇迹。”
佳音心里一痛，只道：“妈妈……”
“也是没有办法的事，”韩母打断她，轻轻一叹，声音微微哽咽，“生老病死，谁都避免不了。你爸爸这些日子，很辛苦。”
佳音只觉得心像抽空了一样难受，有一种呼吸不过来的艰难。耳里听得韩母继续说：“你爸爸头两天精神好些，还张罗着给你寻了个对象，说是等你回来去相亲……他一直就挂着这事，想是盼着能亲眼看你寻个好男人。”
“妈……”佳音轻唤，已然泪流满面，“我会的。”
这一刻她无比后悔，如果能预先知道离婚后发生的一切，就算要她亲自为沈放和他的情人们铺床叠被也是愿意！可人毕竟没有预知一切的慧眼，就算她付出一切，也不能让时光倒回。
“你也不用难过，只是看上去，沈放好像还是很关心你。”
“妈妈，我和他，已经是不可能了。”
“这样就好，你爸今天知道他打电话来，还担心你禁不住他的缠打又跟了他呢。”
想来父亲还是了解她的，自始至终都理解她的委屈。
记得第一次带沈放回家，他嘴甜似蜜，把二老哄得眉开眼笑，佳音以为这事差不多也就成了，谁知韩父晚上却把她叫到一边，问她：
“音音，这个男人你了解吗？”
佳音那时天真，听父亲这样问还有不高兴，以为他想挑刺，当下很大力地头说：“当然了。”
韩父看她那样子微微叹气，抽了口烟沉默半响方才道：“我看他那样子，太滑头，怕你将来管不住他。”
佳音笑，暗想父亲真是老想法了，她擅长撒娇，怕父亲黄了她的婚事，溺在韩父身边甜糯糯地说：“哎呀，爸，你这就不知道了，婚姻可不是谁管谁，能互相负责，一直相爱就是幸福了呀。”
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