第 25 章
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佳音轻叹，抬起头看着正在往锅里倒油准备炸炒米的韩母，暗自愧疚，她有多久没有陪父母一起过年？自大学毕业工作以后，离家更远，因为讨厌挤火车，她总是随意更改回家的日程，等到年后很久她才请假回家，待不上两天又急急忙忙地赶回上班了，甚至都来不及细细感觉父母见到她的欣喜和热情，依恋和关怀，就没心没肺自顾自地走了。连每次母亲给她留着带去吃的炒米糕她都因嫌麻烦而一次次拒要。
存在的时候，以为一定会永远存在，所以才会那么熟视无睹吧？
看看因父亲离去而冷清寂静的家,若不是佳音收拾屋子的时候无意发现这些炒米,只怕韩母都没有多少兴趣来做这年年必做的事情。
佳决定自己先高兴起来，如果父亲有灵，也一定希望她和妈妈有一个高兴的新年吧。所以她说：“妈妈，我们明天去买些年货吧？”
韩母抬头，看佳音兴致颇高地看着自己，显然不想扫兴，应声说好。
然后讨论要买些什么，正说着，韩母突然说：
“你爸爸七七也过了，本想等到百日之后再说，只是那家人说他们儿子正好这几天放假回来，所以想让我们破了例安排你们见见。”
佳音一愣，好一会才明白原是要她去相亲。还没想好怎么回答，韩母又说：
“想是你爸爸也不会介意的，他原先最挂心的就是这个了。”
佳音心下一痛，努力地睁大眼睛才没有让眼泪掉下来，只说：“那问问他们什么时间合适，我去。”
此刻，她觉得自己的敷衍都是一种罪恶，所以连忙又说：“看来我得精心准备准备，一定要成功呢。对方条件怎么样？”
韩母小心地审视佳音的表情，见她确是一副高兴的样子，这才说：“据说条件还不错，有车有房，工作也好，三年前离的婚，虽然年纪大了，但所幸没有孩子拖累。”
“多大了？”
“三十九了好像，也不算大啊，现在比女方大二十岁的都有呢。”
佳音应：“是啊，再说我也想找个比我大的，会疼人，妈妈你说是不是？”
“是啊，比你大才更知道珍惜你呢。而且，他和你在一个城市上班，交往起来也方便。”
“哦，”佳音打趣，“指不定我们都认识呢，到时都免了媒婆了。”
韩母给逗得笑了起来：“看你说的，家里介绍哪能不要媒人？再说要是没人Cāo这个心你们不是也谈不到一起去？”
佳音笑着应是，心里却说不清是什么情绪，她不想结婚，更不想相亲，可是她不能拂了父亲最后的遗愿。
他仍是想让她过得像世俗所认定的那种幸福生活，可是离过婚的她，对婚姻，真的没有多少兴趣和信心。
要怎样，才能找到那个无论生老病死,疾病与痛苦,幸福和快乐时都不离不弃,永远陪伴的爱人?她是青春韶华的时候没有找到，等到青春已尽，韶华逝去，她还能找到吗？
韩佳音并没有信心。
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