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第五百八十八章 无码

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小溪边的上游,文人们模仿东晋时期的“高山流水”,最上面之人把酒斗顺流飘下,下方之人依次从水中捞起,吟一首诗饮一口酒,倒也颇有些逍遥自在的意境。最新地址ltxsba.xyz对比那时期的强敌环饲,醉生梦死,明初的士林显得更为心安理得,更为洒脱了。

隔着一段距离,一群太太也正说得兴高采烈,各家的丫鬟脸红红的散坐在周围,不好意思却又不想躲开,笑嘻嘻的侧耳偷听。

食色性也,对于异性的好奇人人不能免俗,谈论些房中笑话一样无伤大雅,大概只有卫道士才会对此深恶痛绝。

侯氏一口气说了多个笑话,不免口干舌燥,喝水的时候,曹氏说道:“这会子怎说的没力气了,声气放大些才好听,再说你瞧瞧丫头们的辛苦模样,都听不见了。”

侯氏说道:“我这样粗喉咙大嗓子,还听不见?声音再高些,所有人都听见了,不得笑话咱们没脸?”

曹氏笑道:“那我来说一个好了,一家的公公是个聋子,连打雷也听不见。一日,见外边失火,问道:“媳妇,是那里失火?”

那媳妇伸手在他的屁股沟子一摸,他说:“哦,是后载门。可知是那条街?”媳妇拉着他的手往自己的胯下一摸,他道:“是臭水沟。不知是甚么人家?”

媳妇拿手在屁股里抠了一抠,送在他鼻上,他闻了一闻,道:“原来是卖臭鲞鱼那家人。”

叹了口气。公公说道:“他不知做了什么坏事,就遭天火烧?”

媳妇寻思了下,伸手捏捏他的膫子。又捏捏他的两个蛋,他气愤的叫道:“该烧该烧,一杆秤用两个秤锤,这样伤天理,还不该烧么?”

朱巧巧笑的翻来覆去,趴在王玄清的背上,她俩以往都是规规矩矩。等闲也无人敢这么说话,今日也算开了眼界。

众人正笑着,曹氏起身往外走。强氏问道:“你去哪?”

曹氏回头说道:“我方才吃多了些,一时肚子胀气,我去放了来。”

强氏疑心她去躲懒,叫丫头拉住了。说道:“你有屁就在这里放。”不想果然曹氏放了个大响屁。众人捂着鼻子大笑道:“这也抵得上个笑话了。”

曹氏不好意思的笑笑,走回来说道:“我想起个放屁的笑话,一船人过渡,内中一个妇人一个和尚。那妇人偶然放了一个臭屁,众人骂道:“是哪个没廉耻的,放这样臭屁?”

那妇人羞得脸和脖子通红。那和尚知道是这妇人,忙道:“列位休怪,是小僧一时失错。”众人见他承认。便道:“你这和尚好不知趣,瘟臭得熏人。”

那妇人感激得了不得。到了岸。众人都去了。这妇人叫住和尚,说道:“多谢师傅替我遮了羞,没什么送你的。”打身上解下个香袋,“这个谢师傅吧。”

这和尚拿了回来,放在枕头底下,每日早晚拿出来闻闻,叫道:“心肝好香。”被他徒弟听见了,疑惑的道:“什么东西?每日心肝宝贝的。”

那日,他师傅出门去了。他到了房中,枕头底下一翻,原来是一个香袋,想道:“不知是哪个情人送他的,我且耍他一耍。”拆开,把香料掉了,装了一块干屎橛,仍旧替他放好。

晚上师傅回来,就去拿香袋一闻,道:“心肝好香。”再闻了一闻,有些臭气,他笑道:“心肝,你又放屁了呢。”

说完了,曹氏就往外跑,众人笑着叫丫头们道:“快拉她进来。”

众丫头也巴不得继续听,将曹氏推推搡搡的送了回来,曹氏苦笑道:“连续说了几个了,好歹让我歇歇气儿。”

朱巧巧笑道:“那你就最后说一个。”

曹氏有心巴结她,说道:“还有个和尚的笑话,一并说了吧。”

一个和尚同人过渡,见那河沿上一个女人蹲着洗莱,裤子破了,把个下身全露着。那和尚道:“女菩萨,你露出命来了。”旁人听见了一起笑道:“一个屄,你怎么叫做命?”

和尚道:“列位在家人看见这东西不值甚么,我小僧出家人见了,就如命一样。”

女人们笑个不停,王玄清说道:“果真是和尚见了女人的像命一样,那天去山上的寺庙,直勾勾的盯着咱们看,真怕人少了落了单,被劫走了。”

众人又要侯氏继续说,侯氏说道:“有倒是有,得留着时常解闷,一下说完了,改日还说什么?”

曹氏笑道:“还早呢,你也说个放屁的笑话我们听,就饶了你去。”

强氏说道:“你要有,就说一个吧,难得两位奶奶在这儿。”

“我只说这一个了,再不说了。”侯氏想了想,说道:“也是众人摆渡。内中一个婊子放了个屁,众人骂起来。一个小伙子挨着那婊子坐着,听见是他,说道:“不要骂,是我放的。”

过了河,那婊子拉着他到家,说道:“多谢你在众人跟前遮了我这场羞,我没得报你,同你弄弄罢。”那小伙子巴不得,就同她弄起来。谁知这小伙子膫子又大,本事又强,把个婊子弄得白眉瞪眼,大张着嘴。

他吓了一跳,往外飞跑。遇见个熟人,问他道:“你为何这样慌张?”那小伙子道:“不好了,不好了,我把个放屁的弄死了!”

众人哄笑,又要求朱巧巧和王玄清说一个,朱巧巧眼眸一转,笑吟吟的说道:“一个人家,男人出门去了,只姑嫂两个,东西屋子住着。这嫂子同隔壁一个男人偷上了,在板壁上挖了一个洞,约定没人。她只要敲小手磬,就叫那男人把东西打洞里伸过来,她就着弄。也弄了多次。

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