第六百二十七章 同道中人
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堂上,同知大人虎着脸侧坐一旁,一来就被府尊当众讥笑怕老婆,颜面扫地。最新地址ltxsba.pw
此刻知府大人又脸不是脸的大声训斥属下,也不知最近咋回事,境内风调雨顺,百姓安居,税赋缴纳及时,仓库粮食堆积,吏部考评是个大大的优异,那为啥还这么不满呢?令人费解。
同知大人百思不得其解,外没有倭寇来骚扰,内没有白莲聚众造反,上没有巡按督促,下没有凶案发生,朝廷也没有鸡蛋里挑骨头,眼瞅着大人指日就要高升了,真想不明白啊!
等知府大人发泄完了,带领大家伙一起行过了香,闲聊几句时又不免笑话了怕老婆的一顿。
同知大人黑着脸出来,连办公室也不回,坐着轿子杀到了成都县县衙,此乃他对口的分管,用过了知县的茶,把这位座山雕打发了出去,去街上体察民情吧。
然后给老子敲梆子,在震耳欲聋的乱响声中,陆续将府衙的经历、知事、照磨、检校等官员;县衙的县丞、主薄、典史、驿丞、仓官、巡检;成都卫的千户百户以及镇抚;附属的僧纲、道纪、医学、阴阳等等官吏,大概也集合了四五十位文武官员。
庭参已毕,大家伙心情七上八下,莫名其妙的叫咱们来,县太爷又不在场,莫不是事发了?这可不妙,牵连到自己头上就糟了?某晚某晚还在一起吃花酒来着,偷偷送了些东西。
“咳!”同知大人清清喉咙,缓缓开口道:“我们都是须眉男子,却往往制于妇人,可悲可叹也可怜可敬!常言道能屈能伸方为大丈夫,敬畏妻子有何过错?今日天寒雨雪,本官将要考察各官一番,不是考察官评。而是特考某人惧内,某人不惧内,以观惧与不惧的多寡。
尔等都北向站立,待本官逐个点名,自己也不必讲诉其详,只凭公道良心,切忌不可瞒心昧己,假充好汉!若有如此的欺人,即是欺天,本官定不会轻饶。
都听明白了吧?惧内的走到月台东侧。不惧内的走到月台西侧。实不相瞒,本厅就是头一个惧内之人,先去归于本位。”
说完他抬头挺胸的径直走过去了,大家伙彼此面面相觑,随后一个个点名,官员们一见上司都以身作则了,咱也别藏着掖着了,这等事能瞒得过人么?世上哪有不透风的墙?再说今日硬撑了好汉,传扬出去既惹恼了妻子又触怒了上司。乃是家宅官场之大忌!
顷刻间,大约站在东边的十有**,而西边站着的则十无一二,其中有个小官年纪不大。神色间仓皇失措,走到东边寻思不妥,又抬脚溜到了西边,又觉得不对。最后犹犹豫豫的走到中间停下了。
同知大人问道:“要么就东,要么就西,你不东不西。茫无定位,却是何故?”
小官哭丧着脸禀道:“老大人不曾吩咐明白,兼怕小老婆的人,不知该往哪一方站?”
众人忍不住哄笑了一回,同知大人笑道:“这也是难题。如果还有似这等的,都在居中朝北站着吧。”
结果怕小老婆的只有小官一人,这就说到前论了,惧怕大老婆的家里,一个人说的算,有妻子撑腰,小妾们哪敢造次?这小官也算奇葩。
剩下两个人没有站队,一个光头和尚戴着僧帽,一个道士戴着纶巾,齐声禀道:“方外人系僧纲道纪,没有妻室,望老爷免考。”
同知大人撇嘴道:“和尚道士虽然没有老婆,难道没有徒弟?别以为本官不知徒弟是雄是雌,怕徒弟的也去东边站着。”
话音刚落,只见两个僧道红了脸,低着头灰溜溜的都去了东边,站在官员身后。同知大人往西边一瞧,单单就两个官员站在一起,一个是府学的教官,已经八十七岁的高龄,断了弦二十余年,未曾续弦;一个是仓库的官,辽东人氏,因家远就没带着家眷。
此时此刻,此情此景,同知大人犹如吃了蜜糖一样,整个人容光焕发,欣慰于大家皆是同道中人,感慨万千的道:“据此看来,世上但是男子,就没有不惧内的。正所谓阳消阴长世道,活人怕死鬼,丈夫怎能不怕老婆呢?适才本厅实因得罪了太座,羁绊住了,不得及时上堂,府尊与两厅的僚友竟将言语讥讪本厅,心中着实气闷。
今日一则无事,我们大家取乐一番;一则也要那诸位大人知道这世道果然还有不惧内的人么?大家看看,除了一位老先生,二十多年未曾续弦,再除去一个不带家眷的,其余官员也不下四五十位了,皆是六七省的人才,足以证明即使各省风土不一,语言不一,惟有这惧内的道理,到处无异,怎么太尊和他二个如此撇清?”
说道这里,同知大人高举双手,仰头问道:“哼!吾谁欺?欺天乎!”
这时一位医学正科的官员挺身而出,各家治病瞒谁能瞒得了他?朗声道:“堂上太爷也不是个不惧内的人,夏天冲撞了太尊大奶奶,被大奶奶一巴掌打在了鼻子上,当场鲜血横流,流血不止慌忙叫了下官前去医治,烧了许多驴粪吹在鼻孔,此后落下了病根,每每被扇了鼻子就流血,怎能讥讽老爷惧内呢?”
同知大人大喜,敢情上司也是个怕老婆的?仰着头哈哈大笑,一副老大别说老二的得意。官员又说道:“就是军厅的李爷,也常常被奶奶打得没处躲避,披头散发光着脚,跑到堂上坐着;粮厅童爷的奶奶更是厉害,连童爷躲在堂上,奶奶也赶到堂上行法教诲,官员书办,快手衙役跪了满满,替童爷齐声讨饶,这才看在大家的份上,免了好打。”
千户笑道:“我也知道这个典故,衙役有犯事的,童大人要责几下,下面禀告某月某日,奶奶在堂上要责罚老爷。亏小的们再三替老爷哀告,念着小的微功,姑且饶恕这次吧。”
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