第六百二十七章 同道中人
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堂上，同知大人虎着脸侧坐一旁，一来就被府尊当众讥笑怕老婆，颜面扫地。最新地址ltxsba.pw
此刻知府大人又脸不是脸的大声训斥属下，也不知最近咋回事，境内风调雨顺，百姓安居，税赋缴纳及时，仓库粮食堆积，吏部考评是个大大的优异，那为啥还这么不满呢？令人费解。
同知大人百思不得其解，外没有倭寇来骚扰，内没有白莲聚众造反，上没有巡按督促，下没有凶案发生，朝廷也没有鸡蛋里挑骨头，眼瞅着大人指日就要高升了，真想不明白啊！
等知府大人发泄完了，带领大家伙一起行过了香，闲聊几句时又不免笑话了怕老婆的一顿。
同知大人黑着脸出来，连办公室也不回，坐着轿子杀到了成都县县衙，此乃他对口的分管，用过了知县的茶，把这位座山雕打发了出去，去街上体察民情吧。
然后给老子敲梆子，在震耳欲聋的乱响声中，陆续将府衙的经历、知事、照磨、检校等官员；县衙的县丞、主薄、典史、驿丞、仓官、巡检；成都卫的千户百户以及镇抚；附属的僧纲、道纪、医学、阴阳等等官吏，大概也集合了四五十位文武官员。
庭参已毕，大家伙心情七上八下，莫名其妙的叫咱们来，县太爷又不在场，莫不是事发了？这可不妙，牵连到自己头上就糟了？某晚某晚还在一起吃花酒来着，偷偷送了些东西。
“咳！”同知大人清清喉咙，缓缓开口道：“我们都是须眉男子，却往往制于妇人，可悲可叹也可怜可敬！常言道能屈能伸方为大丈夫，敬畏妻子有何过错？今日天寒雨雪，本官将要考察各官一番，不是考察官评。而是特考某人惧内，某人不惧内，以观惧与不惧的多寡。
尔等都北向站立，待本官逐个点名，自己也不必讲诉其详，只凭公道良心，切忌不可瞒心昧己，假充好汉！若有如此的欺人，即是欺天，本官定不会轻饶。
都听明白了吧？惧内的走到月台东侧。不惧内的走到月台西侧。实不相瞒，本厅就是头一个惧内之人，先去归于本位。”
说完他抬头挺胸的径直走过去了，大家伙彼此面面相觑，随后一个个点名，官员们一见上司都以身作则了，咱也别藏着掖着了，这等事能瞒得过人么？世上哪有不透风的墙？再说今日硬撑了好汉，传扬出去既惹恼了妻子又触怒了上司。乃是家宅官场之大忌！
顷刻间，大约站在东边的十有**，而西边站着的则十无一二，其中有个小官年纪不大。神色间仓皇失措，走到东边寻思不妥，又抬脚溜到了西边，又觉得不对。最后犹犹豫豫的走到中间停下了。
同知大人问道：“要么就东，要么就西，你不东不西。茫无定位，却是何故？”
小官哭丧着脸禀道：“老大人不曾吩咐明白，兼怕小老婆的人，不知该往哪一方站？”
众人忍不住哄笑了一回，同知大人笑道：“这也是难题。如果还有似这等的，都在居中朝北站着吧。”
结果怕小老婆的只有小官一人，这就说到前论了，惧怕大老婆的家里，一个人说的算，有妻子撑腰，小妾们哪敢造次？这小官也算奇葩。
剩下两个人没有站队，一个光头和尚戴着僧帽，一个道士戴着纶巾，齐声禀道：“方外人系僧纲道纪，没有妻室，望老爷免考。”
同知大人撇嘴道：“和尚道士虽然没有老婆，难道没有徒弟？别以为本官不知徒弟是雄是雌，怕徒弟的也去东边站着。”
话音刚落，只见两个僧道红了脸，低着头灰溜溜的都去了东边，站在官员身后。同知大人往西边一瞧，单单就两个官员站在一起，一个是府学的教官，已经八十七岁的高龄，断了弦二十余年，未曾续弦；一个是仓库的官，辽东人氏，因家远就没带着家眷。
此时此刻，此情此景，同知大人犹如吃了蜜糖一样，整个人容光焕发，欣慰于大家皆是同道中人，感慨万千的道：“据此看来，世上但是男子，就没有不惧内的。正所谓阳消阴长世道，活人怕死鬼，丈夫怎能不怕老婆呢？适才本厅实因得罪了太座，羁绊住了，不得及时上堂，府尊与两厅的僚友竟将言语讥讪本厅，心中着实气闷。
今日一则无事，我们大家取乐一番；一则也要那诸位大人知道这世道果然还有不惧内的人么？大家看看，除了一位老先生，二十多年未曾续弦，再除去一个不带家眷的，其余官员也不下四五十位了，皆是六七省的人才，足以证明即使各省风土不一，语言不一，惟有这惧内的道理，到处无异，怎么太尊和他二个如此撇清？”
说道这里，同知大人高举双手，仰头问道：“哼！吾谁欺？欺天乎！”
这时一位医学正科的官员挺身而出，各家治病瞒谁能瞒得了他？朗声道：“堂上太爷也不是个不惧内的人，夏天冲撞了太尊大奶奶，被大奶奶一巴掌打在了鼻子上，当场鲜血横流，流血不止慌忙叫了下官前去医治，烧了许多驴粪吹在鼻孔，此后落下了病根，每每被扇了鼻子就流血，怎能讥讽老爷惧内呢？”
同知大人大喜，敢情上司也是个怕老婆的？仰着头哈哈大笑，一副老大别说老二的得意。官员又说道：“就是军厅的李爷，也常常被奶奶打得没处躲避，披头散发光着脚，跑到堂上坐着；粮厅童爷的奶奶更是厉害，连童爷躲在堂上，奶奶也赶到堂上行法教诲，官员书办，快手衙役跪了满满，替童爷齐声讨饶，这才看在大家的份上，免了好打。”
千户笑道：“我也知道这个典故，衙役有犯事的，童大人要责几下，下面禀告某月某日，奶奶在堂上要责罚老爷。亏小的们再三替老爷哀告，念着小的微功，姑且饶恕这次吧。”
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