第六百八十八章 接风
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晚上徐灏在如意坊设宴给薛文接风，除了一干好友之外，还有薛文两个内舅。最新地址ltxsba.pw
这二位天生一对怪相，大家伙都心说薛文妻子明明容貌端正，为何哥哥弟弟就这么奇特呢？
大舅哥其实长的不错，白白净净，就是肺火太重了，一年四季总是满脸的红疙瘩，鼻子上大概螨虫太多了，好难看的一个红鼻子，徐灏都不敢直视，不然吃不下菜。
大舅哥三十来岁的年纪，薛文说五经还没念完，就不是个读书的材料，奈何随着薛家发迹，薛嫂子非要坚持让兄弟读到死不可。
将将考上了个童生，文理欠通却酷好掉文，也就是说和邬斯文一个德行，满口的之乎者也，一说话酸气袭来。
小舅子长得薄唇露齿，右边的眼睛高高吊起，一字浓眉，放到后世绝对能去当个特型演员，搞笑的那种。文采和他哥哥不相上下，最喜欢批评哥哥的不通，兼且有口吃的毛病，说话动辄期期艾艾的，越是着急越说不清楚，人送外号“吊眼叠声”，而大舅哥的混号因红红的鼻子叫做“壮-阳狗肾”，用薛文的话说，这两位就是废物一对。
薛嫂子非要丈夫领着哥俩出来应酬，薛文不敢不依，席间就听他俩的对话分外有趣，大家伙忍不住想笑，又不好意思笑出来，憋的十分难受。
徐灏一边谈笑风生，一边就听大舅哥说道：“妹夫我敬你一杯，你这一次出门不知去向，若不是鸟倦飞而知还，则虽引弓而射之，亦徒兴弋人之慕矣。”
没等薛文皱眉开口，小舅子抢先说道：“哥、哥、哥你这句话说，说错了，怎么把鸟来比起人呢？你、你、你还要将箭射、射姐夫。那就更岂有此理了。”
大舅哥不悦的道：“老二，你到底腹中空空如也，不知运化书卷之妙。这是我腹简便便，不啻若自其口出，这句鸟倦飞而知还，是出在“古文观止”上的。再说鸟不可以比喻人，那“大学”上为什么说‘可以人而不如鸟乎’呢？”
徐灏听听哈哈一笑，对着瞪着他的薛文笑道：“大哥的鸟论不错，岂老薛如鸟，我认为鸟不如他。要晓得靖节先生此言，就是引为自喻的。”
薛文也跟着徐灏学久了口头禅，骂道：“你才是鸟呢，你全家都是鸟。”
徐灏大笑道：“鸟就鸟，不是鸡就行。”
大家伙哄堂大笑，一起举杯对饮。不想大舅哥侧耳倾听，不同意的道：“徐兄所看的古文观止，只怕是翻版的。小弟记得清楚，做这篇古文是个姓陶的。并不是姓秦。”
“哈哈！”大家伙全都爆笑，糗的薛文无地自容，又不好呵斥舅哥莫要丢人现眼，干脆装着解手去了。
靖节先生就是陶渊明。徐灏笑道：“大哥学问实在渊博，连作者的姓都知道。”
说完徐灏有些后悔了，怎么几杯酒下肚，开始调侃起人家了呢。可实在是忍不住，要知道在座任何人都比他才高，以往讨论古文啥的。他都不敢随便插嘴，难得在这里遇到位不如自己的，小人就小人吧。
大舅哥只当徐灏果真佩服他，不免意气飞扬，脸上大大小小的红疙瘩，犹如花灌了浆一样，一颗颗的光亮起来，转而教训起了弟弟来，“老二，但凡我们读书人，天分记性是并行不悖，缺一不可的。”
小舅子不屑的道：“胡、胡说。若是记性好，日前你也不、不会把狗来对人了；若是天分好，也不会把牛、牛来对先生了。”
“哼！”被揭了短的大舅哥生气了，气鼓鼓的扭过头去。
被推举坐在首位的好友赵亮也一扫老实持重的做派，故意问道：“想必令兄又是引经据典，倒要请教请教。”
“呵呵！”小舅子自己未语先笑，“论、论文理呢，家兄到底多读了几年书，小、小、小弟原赶不上，但他错的地方极多。有一天先生出、出了一个对子，是将、将书对书的。上对是‘上能弘道’，家、家兄对得快，提笔写了个‘狗、狗无恒心’。
先生说这不是书，家、家兄说是孟子上的，先生说岂、岂有此理。家兄只当先生忘了，便乐、乐的了不得，急忙翻出来看，原来是草字头的苟字，不是反犬旁的狗字。”
见大舅哥脸上的红疙瘩更大更璀璨也更吓人了，赵亮笑了一笑道：“若不是狗字记错了，倒是一副好对子。”
大舅哥长叹道：“一时失足悔恨终身矣！”
小舅子继续说道：“又一日，先生出了一个做起讲的题、题目，‘先生将何之’。家兄就、就将‘牛何之’做了起头。气得先生拿笔叉、叉、叉了又叉，把家兄痛骂了一顿。”
这一番话说的大舅哥羞愤难耐，说道：“屁话！”起身就要告辞，赵亮担心他们兄弟同席斗气，不便挽留，同徐灏一起送了出来。
回到雅间的薛文趁机也叫小舅子滚蛋，小舅子不敢顶撞姐夫，老老实实的走了。
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