第七百二十五章 猾吏
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制台一时没什么话和他谈,知道他老家在安徽六安州,随口问道:‘闻得贵老家六安专产大马猴,那猴子究竟有多大?’知县回道:‘禀大人,大的有大人大’察觉自己口误了,忙改口道:‘小的有下官大。’”
众人听了都大笑起来,徐灏也笑了,官场上永远不缺笑话。
这一次端端正正扔出了两个全红四点,刘茂说道:“双四是人牌,位分天地人三才,三座轮到花蠢。”
位置恰好是徐灏,徐灏有些惊讶,竟然会如此机缘巧合,抽了一支签子一看,见上面写着风月二字,这就更巧了。
徐灏先看了眼刘智,说道:“我听说有个嫖-客带着万金,在一个名妓家里嫖光了,虽然花光了钱,然而情丝未断,那名妓也有些舍不得他,他自然也不舍得名妓。
为此不得不自降身份,从包养改为与人共享,原以为名妓心里只有他,接客无非是应付而已,谁知那名妓接了位年轻英俊兼有钱有势的恩客,马上十分要好了。
他看在眼里,已经有些吃醋,奈何手中没钱又寄人篱下,不敢发作。这一天晚宴,新客和名妓高兴了也要行个酒令,老鸨欣然应允,头一个说道:‘春满屠苏把酒筛。’
名妓接道:‘奴家恩义人人爱’,新客听了,把桌面用手一拍,大声说道:‘美人见我自投怀。’说完指着旧嫖-客问道:“看你相貌倒也清秀,可会续一句酒令否?’
他听了也叫道:‘怎么不会?,随即伸出两个指头笑道:‘来年一对绿头龟。’”
在座之人碍于是徐灏说的,不得不笑了几声,他们都去过青楼,人家开了个地图炮,都给骂了。
徐灏见状微微一笑,说道:“欢场之中迎来送往,偶尔为之不算什么。可把妓女当成了知己,争风吃醋,却把妻子冷落在家,那就未免恶心了。”
被说中心事的刘智脸色瞬间涨得通红,他最近就怕金钟儿又投了他人怀抱,若是随便接个客人也罢了,万一又遇到个朱勇怎么得了?
徐灏见他执迷不悟,感到不可理喻,明明都亲眼见到金钟儿和朱勇**,怎么情感上那么在乎,**上又那么的不在乎?真真是怪事。难道说要是翠云也红杏出墙,他也会满不在乎?大抵后世女人结婚不是完璧的比比皆是,啥也别说了。
“三叔,我不胜酒力,先走一步。”
“嗯,去吧。”
徐灏站起身来,径自进了内宅,到了花厅,就见一群女人也在兴高采烈的说笑话。
朱巧巧说道:“一个人穷得很,每日都要虔诚祷告,求神仙能救度他的苦难。终于有一天,感动了一位神仙下界,赐给他一枚金钱,说:‘你到大海上,拿着这钱,炸、炸、炸大叫三声,那海水会被炸的天翻地覆,龙王自然会来求你,任凭你要什么宝贝没有?’
这人欢天喜地的叩谢,走到海边,大叫了三声炸,果然卷起了千层浪,一个巡海夜叉爬上来说道:‘上仙为何炸我龙宫?’
这人就心想啊,都说海底有的是宝贝,可我就一个人多了也拿不走,少了又不济事,何不逼着龙王把闺女给我做老婆呢?有了海龙王做丈人,还愁没有宝贝?遂说道:‘我因没有妻子,特来求你家龙王的公主许配给我,若不依从,我手里这个金钱,能把你的海底炸的七零八落,让龙王一家连存身的地方都没有,你快去说了来回报。’
夜叉唬的慌忙跳进海里,禀报给了龙王,龙王大惊,传鲤鱼丞相等众臣来商议,龟军师不慌不忙的说道:‘须如此如此,就不怕他了。’
龙王大喜,派遣鲤丞相快去,到了岸上,对那人说道;‘方才夜叉报说上仙要公主为婚,龙王岂敢不听?但我家公主是个贵人,上仙得下一个厚聘,才成礼数。’
那人说道:“我空身到此,哪里有什么东西可做聘礼?’
鲤丞相说道:‘何必要别的东西,上仙的这枚金钱就可以做聘礼了,反正公主少不得还得陪嫁过来。’
那人没做多想,欣然就递了过去,鲤丞相接了来,得意洋洋的转身下海,好半天再没了动静。
那人大怒,跳着脚的又炸、炸、炸的大叫,夜叉在海中瞅着他笑,“先前仗着有个浪钱‘炸’的人都怕你,你如今没了钱了,还炸些什么呢?’”
所有人都笑了,半躺着的老太君也笑道:“巧巧那丫头越发出息了,给咱娘们说个笑话,还能令人回味回味。”
王玄清说道:“嫂子一个笑话把咱们都给伤了,可饶她不得。”
朱巧巧忙说道:“我怎么敢呢,你们可别多心,格格!”说着她自己倒笑了起来。
徐翠桃说道:“咱家就属她最有浪钱,等你假如有一天没钱了,看你还炸不炸我们了。”
笑闹中,大家伙非让徐灏说了笑话不可,徐灏便说道:‘一个秀才做文章,哼哼唧唧,千难万难,怎么也做不出来。他妻子笑道:‘你们做文章难道比我们养孩子还难嘛?’
秀才马上回道:‘难难难,你们是肚子里有了,出来虽然费点劲,可也不难,而我是肚子里压根没有,怎么要它出来,岂有不难之理?’”
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