第八十二回 陈敬济弄一得双 潘金莲热心冷面
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鬓风前绿卷，玉颜想处红潮，莫交空负可怜宵，月下双湾步俏。右调
《西江月》
话说潘金莲与陈敬济，自从在厢房里得手之后，两个人尝着甜头儿，日逐白日偷寒，黄昏送暖。或倚肩嘲笑，或并坐调情，掐打揪-，通无忌惮。或有人跟前不得说话，将心事写了，搓成纸条儿，丢在地下，你有话传与我，我有话传与你。一日，四月天气，潘金莲将自己袖的一方银丝汗贴儿，裹着一个纱香袋儿，里面装一缕头发并些松柏儿，封的停当，要与敬济。不想敬济不在厢房内，遂打窗眼内投进去。后敬济进房，看见弥封甚厚，打开却是汗巾香袋儿，纸上写一词，名《寄生草》：
将奴这银丝帕，并香囊寄与他。当初结下青丝发。松柏儿要你常牵挂，泪珠儿滴写相思话。夜深灯照的奴影儿孤，休负了夜深潜等荼縻架。
敬济见词上约他在荼縻架下等候，私会佳期。随即封了一柄湘妃笔金扇儿，亦写了一词在上回答他，袖入花园内。不想月娘正在金莲房中坐着，这敬济三不知，走进角门就叫：“可意人在家不在？”这金莲听见是他语音，恐怕月娘听见决撒了，连忙掀帘子走出来。看着他摆手儿，佯说：“我道是谁，原来是陈姐夫来寻大姐。大姐刚才在这里，和他每往花园亭子上摘花儿去了。”这敬济见有月娘在房里，就把物事暗暗递与妇人袖了，他就出去了。月娘便问：“陈姐夫来做甚么？”金莲道：“他来寻大姐，我回他往花园中去了。”以此瞒过月娘。少顷，月娘起身回后边去了。金莲向袖中取出拆开，却是湘妃竹金扇儿一柄，上面一种青蒲，半溪流水，有《水仙子》一首词儿：
紫竹白纱甚逍遥，绿囗青蒲巧制成，金铰银钱十分妙。美人儿堪用着，遮炎天少把风招。有人处常常袖着，无人处慢慢轻摇，休教那俗人见偷了。
妇人看见其词，到于晚夕月上时，早把春梅、秋菊两个丫头打发些酒与他吃，关在那边炕屋睡。然后自在房中，绿半启，绛烛高烧，收拾床铺衾枕，薰香澡牝，独立木香棚下，专等敬济来赴佳期。西门大姐那夜恰好被月娘请去后边，听王姑子宣卷去了，只有元宵儿在屋里。敬济梯己与了他一方手帕，分付他：“看守房中，我往你五娘那边下棋去。等大姑娘进来，你快来。”元宵儿应诺了。敬济得手，走来花园中，只见花筛月影，参差提成映。走到荼縻架下，远望见妇人摘去冠儿，乱挽乌云，悄悄在木香棚下独立。这敬济猛然从荼縻架下突出，双手把妇人抱住。把妇人唬了一跳，说：“呸，小短命！猛然外事出来，唬了我一跳。早是我，你搂便将就罢了，若是别人，你也恁胆大搂起来？”敬济吃得半酣儿，笑道：“早是搂了你，就错搂了红娘，也是没奈何。”两个于是相搂相抱，携手进入房中。房中荧煌煌掌着灯烛，桌上设着酒肴，一面了角门，并肩而坐饮酒。妇人便问：“你来，大姐在那里？”敬济道：“大姐后边听宣卷去了，我分付下元宵儿，有事来这里叫，我只说在这里下棋。”说毕，上欢笑做一处。饮酒多时，常言“风流茶说合，酒是色媒人”，不觉竹叶穿心，桃花上脸，一个嘴儿相亲，一个腮儿厮-，罩了灯，上床交接。有《六娘子》小词为证：
入门来，奴搂抱在怀。奴把锦被儿伸开，俏冤家顽的十分怪-，将奴脚儿抬。脚儿抬，揉乱了乌云，（髟狄）髻儿歪。
两人云雨才毕，只听得元宵叫门说：“大姑娘进房中来了。”这敬济慌的穿衣去了。正是：
狂蜂浪蝶有时见，飞入梨花无处寻。
原来潘金莲那边三间楼上，中间供养佛像，两边稍间堆放生药香料。两个自此以后，情沾肺腑，意密如漆，无日不相会做一处。一日也是合当有事，潘金莲早辰梳妆打扮，走来楼上观音菩萨前烧香。不想陈敬济正拿钥匙上楼，开库房门拿药材香料，撞遇在一处。这妇人且不烧香，见楼上无人，两个搂抱着亲嘴咂舌，一个叫“亲亲五娘”，一个呼“心肝短命”，因说：“趁无人，咱在这里干了罢。”一面解褪衣裤，就在一张春凳上双凫飞肩，灵根半入，不胜绸缪。当初没巧不成话，两个正干得好，不防春梅正上楼来，拿盒子取茶叶看见。两个凑手脚不迭，都吃了一惊。春梅恐怕羞了他，连忙倒退回身子，走下胡梯。慌的敬济兜小衣不迭，妇人穿上裙子，忙叫春梅：“我的好姐姐，你上来，我和你说话。”那春梅于是走上楼来。金莲道：“我的好姐姐，你姐夫不是别人，我今叫你知道了罢。俺两个情孚意合，拆散不开。你千万休对人说，只放在你心里。”春梅便说：“好娘，说那里话。奴伏侍娘这几年，岂不知娘心腹，肯对人说！”妇人道：“你若肯遮盖俺们，趁你姐夫在这里，你也过来和你姐夫睡一睡，我方信你。你若不肯，只是不可怜见俺每了。”那春梅把脸羞的一红一白，只得依他。卸下湘裙，解开裤带，仰在凳上，尽着这小伙儿受用。有这等事！正是：明珠两颗皆无价，可奈檀郎尽得钻。有《红绣鞋》为证：
假认做女婿亲厚，往来和丈母歪偷。人情里包藏鬼胡油。明讲做儿女礼，暗结下燕莺俦，他两个见今有。
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