01节、啰嗦的刘守财
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“闭嘴。是牛笑笑,笑笑姐。”八斗觉得刘守财给人起外号总是不好的。这货张开嘴就别指望能收住,八斗不过是想提醒一下,管不管用的再说。
刘守财转身去看八斗,双腿盘膝在副驾驶的座位上,侧过身把背靠在车门。脸上带着一股子狭促的笑意:“都说女大三抱金砖,牛叫叫好像比你大三岁吧?来给哥哥说说,那恶婆娘看上你哪一点了?哥哥我跟你说啊,只要牛叫叫说看上你什么了,你得利马改!知道不?虽然牛叫叫人家有钱,可咱们也得有骨气不是,你说你要相貌有相貌,要手艺也有手艺。还跟着刘哥我这样的世外高人混日子,收入也不低对不对。何必抱那恶婆娘的臭脚?哥给你说,小曲就不错,人温婉善良贤惠端庄,还可爱呆萌的。最最重要是漂亮呀,身材好,要胸有胸,要屁股有屁股,等她毕业了你就赶紧娶了。咱们都认识好几年了,就没听过小曲找过男朋友不是。正适合你呀!要不哥哥给你保媒牵线凑合凑合得了……”
刘守财絮絮叨叨说个没完没了,就看着八斗握着方向盘的双手青筋都要蹦出来了。
“闭嘴!”八斗再次重复,声音从嗓子眼里呼噜呼噜的往外蹦,这是气的。
“不是哥哥说你,我可是真看出来你喜欢牛叫叫那恶婆娘,没发现那丫头除了喝酒的时候喜欢吟诗作对叫两句酸词儿,就跟你喝酒的时候话多。前几天我还看到咱们在酒吧里的时候,牛叫叫正勾搭人家小姑娘,见到你立刻就把小姑娘给踹了。跟个小媳妇儿一样凑你身边。你还不承认啊?”
“闭嘴!”八斗咬牙切齿,这要不是关乎生命安全,开车时候不能分散注意力,八斗……八斗会把耳朵堵上。
面对刘守财这种人,八斗是绝望的!打他吧?叫刘守财一声哥哥,就不能动手揍他。骂他吧?根本说不过,自己三句话没说完,刘守财能用三百句话把自己噎死。不理会吧,就跟个苍蝇一样在耳朵边上嗡嗡嗡的作响,唐唠叨都没他碎嘴!
嘶!嘶!嘶……
八斗摇下车窗,摆动脑袋耸着鼻子嘶嘶嘶的闻个不停。这野山小道的也不知他闻到了什么。
刘守财眼皮子一跳,眯着眼睛左右观瞧。嘴里问道:“八斗,怎么回事?”
八斗缓缓地收了油门,一点点让车速慢下来。
“好臭。”八斗说道。
刘守财搓搓手,意识到可能出问题了。
“尸臭还是鬼臭?”
“鬼臭,是怨灵。味道不浓,不超过三十年。”八斗说。
八斗有个本事,就是闻到普通人闻不到的气味,倒不是说这小子的鼻子跟狗鼻子一样好使,而是说他对鬼魅尸灵这类东西的敏感度很高。八斗的眼睛可以模糊的看到鬼影子,鼻子可以闻到鬼的气味,最重要的是,八斗的血很奇怪,涂抹在拳头上就可以打到本来无影无踪的鬼身上,并且能造成很大的破坏力。
而这一切,都是伯乐刘守财发现的。
刘守财的本事除了碎嘴之外,就是做神棍。当然还有一份很高尚的园丁职业衬托着。刘守财可不是骗人的神棍,而是真有本事的那种。
只不过刘守财的本事有点二,轻易不能出手。所以刘守财自持伯乐,挖掘了八斗这孩子,从此他的生活变成了有事没事找八斗的好习惯。
“这是知道咱们来了呀!你出去看看。”刘守财搓着手抬了一下下巴对八斗说道。
“嗯。”八斗点点头,他早就习惯刘守财的指挥,反正普通的小鬼小怪还是要他自己出手解决,只有碰到硬茬子的时候才轮得到刘守财。好在哥俩配合不是一天两天了,八斗推开车门就跳了下去。
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