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第四十七章 大老婆的承诺

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“你真坏,竟讲这些没用的,不离你了!”张荧荧白了大炮眼,生气的嘟嘟着小嘴把头转了回去!等了会也不见大炮来哄他,气的她哼了两声,赌气的说:“你看明天我不让爷爷把你抓起来才怪了呢!”谁会想到,市长秘书,省长的接班人,在外面一副落落大方,处事果断的张荧荧,在大炮怀里竟然变成现在这个只知道撒娇的小女孩呢!

“好了,好了,老婆大人我错了还不行吗,我给你将个不色情的行了吧!”大炮无奈的把她抱了过来,在她耳边轻轻的讲道:

“一天深夜,一个年轻女子经过一家精神病院时,突然后面传来“哇”的一声。女子扭头一看,一个一丝不挂的男子正在向她追来。女子吓得拔腿就跑,后面的男人紧追不舍。不好,前面是一条死胡同,女子万念俱灰,跪在地上哭着哀求道:“你愿意干什么就干什么吧,只求你不要杀我。”男子狡黠地笑了笑说:“真的?那现在你开始追我。”

“不好笑,再讲!”张荧荧嘟嘟着嘴还在生气的说。

大炮翻了个白眼,他还真拿这大小姐没辙了。只好再讲道:“.有一只小白兔快乐地奔跑在森林中,在路上牠碰到一只正在卷大麻的长颈鹿,?

小白兔对长颈鹿说:“长颈鹿长颈鹿,你为什么要做伤害自己的事呢??看看这片森林多么美好,让我们一起在大自然中奔跑吧!”长颈鹿看看大麻烟,看看小白兔,于是把大麻烟向身后一扔,?跟着小白兔在森林中奔跑.?

后来牠们遇到一只正在准备吸古柯碱的大象,?小白兔对大象说:?”大象大象,你为什么要做伤害自己的事呢??看看这片森林多么美好,让我们一起在大自然中奔跑吧!”大象看看古柯碱,看看小白兔,于是把古柯碱向身后一扔,?跟着小白兔和长颈鹿在森林中奔跑.?

后来牠们遇到一只正在准备打海洛因的狮子,?小白兔对狮子说:“狮子狮子,你为什么要做伤害自己的事呢??看看这片森林多么美好,让我们起在大自然中奔跑吧!”狮子看看针筒,看看小白兔,于是把针筒向身后一扔,冲过去把小白兔狠揍了一顿.?大象和长颈鹿吓得直发抖:“你为什么要打小白兔呢??牠这么好心,关心我们的健康又叫我们接近?大自然.”狮子生气地说:“这个混蛋兔子,每次嗑了就拉着我像白痴一样在森林里乱跑.”

“咯咯……这个虽然不是黄色的,但也是不健康的,再换一个!”张荧荧好像当女王当上瘾来了,大炮有些发怒的道:“没了,睡觉!”

“老公别生气了吗,人家只不过想逗逗你嘛,小气包,大不了人家也给你讲一个啦!”张荧荧嬉笑着把大炮推翻过来,两手拄着下巴趴在他胸前说:“一个老板酒后,心情非常高兴,吹着口哨,开着心爱的奔驰600在公路上行使,这时,他发现路边停着一辆农用拖拉机,并且有一个人在摆手。于是,他停下车,原来,这个拖拉机坏在路上,想找人帮助拖走。老板今天心情非常高兴,便答应了。两个人同时约定好,如果拖拉机打右转向灯,请继续开。如果拖拉机打左转向,请停车。然后,老板开着奔驰600与拖拉机一起上路了。(当然开的很慢了)突然,一辆宝马轿车从后面以极快的速度超过他们,老板一看,非常生气,怒骂到:“还没有人敢超我奔驰600的呢!”于是,他马上挂高档,急踩油门,奔着宝马就追了上去。(因为喝了酒,他已忘了后面还拖了一辆拖拉机)老板很快的追上了宝马,正当他们以280迈的速度飚车的时候,被路边的一个交通警察发现了,想拦已经来不及了,连忙拿出对讲机,跟下一路段警察联系:“喂,喂,喂,发现两辆车在飚车,速度非常快,一个是宝马,一个是奔驰600,请你拦阻他们,不对,是三辆车在飚车,后面还紧紧的跟着一辆拖拉机,并且拖拉机还打着左转向灯,想超车。?”

“哈哈!”大炮听完忍不住笑了出来!

…….

“老公,你还记得以前吗?你刚追我的那个时候你老讲笑话逗我,这都也是你以前给我讲过的呢!”张荧荧趴在大炮胸膛上,幽幽的说,大炮听到荧荧的话时,笑声就已经停止了。

“哼,自从你把我搞到手以后,就开始变了样子,不在像以前那样给我讲故事,哄我开心了,你知道吗,我这一生只交过你这一个男朋友,谈过一次恋爱,可你呢?你有好多女人,你交过好多女朋友,你甚至不顾我的感受把我最好的姐妹弄上了床,你说你可恶不可恶!”张荧荧含着眼泪等着的大炮说。

…….

“可恶!”大炮老实的承认着错误,现在的张荧荧可是今非夕比啊,有她那个当省长的爷爷撑腰,大炮可是不敢得罪她!

“承认自己可恶就行了,现在你向我发誓,以后你不管有多少女人,都只能第一娶我当老婆,我要当名义上的老大!”张荧荧终于陋出了她小魔女的嘴脸。大炮终于明白了,原来弄了那么多前因,又摆事实又讲道理的,是在这里等着自己呢啊!可是大炮敢说不吗?于情,于理,大炮都不忍心在伤害这个苦恋自己五年,又放弃那么多的女人了……

“我大炮对着电灯炮发誓,今后不管我大炮有多少女人,多少情妇,我肯定会第一个娶张荧荧过门,让她成为我们高家的第一个儿子媳妇,名义上的大姐。如违背此誓言,那就让我荧荧老婆把我万剑穿心而死!”大炮苦笑着看着她说:“这样行了吧,满足了吧!”

“咯咯,老公你可不准骗我哦,以后我就是大姐了。你要是先跟别人结婚了,我就真的让你万剑穿心!”张荧荧破涕为笑,拿手指在大炮胸口上比画威胁着说。

大炮就纳闷了,难道一个空口无凭的承诺,和一个两张纸厚的小红本本就真的对女人来说就有那么重要吗?“万把剑还不得好几千斤沉啊,背的动吗?”大炮故意自言自语的说。

“你坏!”

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