第十四萌、我带你去丽春院玩
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一群少年都转过头来看李岩，只见李岩神sè平静地穿好了太监衣服，还从旁边拿起一个奇怪的头套在脑袋上一套，这个头套前面半截是秃的，后面拖着一条长辫子，戴在头上就盖住了他本来的发型，让他看起来很像一个清朝人了。龙腾小说ltxsba.com
另外十一名少年的脸上都露出了不爽的神sè，独孤源忍不住开口讥讽道：“差生就是差生，成绩差不说，连尊严都没有，不光把自己打扮成太监，还把发型也弄成了清狗的光额头大辫子造型，你丢人不丢人？”
“就是！”旁边那三个被李岩打过的男生也道：“大好男儿，把自己弄成一条清狗，哼！难怪你会为乔峰那厮出头，你简直是汉人中的败类。”
李岩忍不住冷笑道：“一群二傻！咱们这次任务的目的是刺杀鳌拜，而达成这个目的的手段就是伪装成满清小皇帝手下的摔跤太监，既然如此，打扮成这样又怎么了？我这个叫做懂得变通……你们则叫做食古不化。”
“辣块妈妈的＃旱得好！”韦小宝刷地一下跳到了李岩的身边，伸手在李岩的肩头上用力拍了几下：“学弟，你说得太对了……为达目的，就要懂得不择手段，那些食古不化的懂个屁。老娘当年为了帮一个叫茅十八的傻子打架，向敌人扔了一把石灰，帮着茅十八把那人杀了，没想到茅十八反而说老娘不对……说什么撒石灰是下三滥的举动，呸！老娘要是不够下三滥，早就被人给杀了，哪能活到今天？”
李岩看过《鹿鼎记》，依稀记得这个情节，便笑道：“换了我在那种情况下，也是要撒石灰的，韦学姐做得对。”
韦小宝难得听到一个人认同撒石灰这种手段，顿时开心起来：“辣块妈妈的学弟，你不错，学姐看好你，等这次任务结束，学姐带你去丽chūn院玩……”她摇头晃脑地拍着李岩的肩膀，脑袋左右晃动，一条麻花大辫子左甩右甩，倒是满好看的。李岩忍不住想道：对着一个名叫韦小宝的妹子，压力好大，以后还是称他为麻花辫妹子算了。不过转念又想到她说带自己去丽chūn院玩，一张脸顿时飞红，吓得连退了几步。
麻花辫妹子看他脸嫩，觉得满好玩的，又道：“我妈韦chūn花就在丽chūn院接客，你要不要我带你去piáo我妈？”
李岩大吃一惊，差吓得飞起来。天啊，这……这也太超过了，你说话能不能有节cāo？居然介绍我去piáo你妈，这也太匪夷所思了，接受不能啊。
其实麻花辫妹子也没真的打算带人去piáo自己的妈，只不过她从小在青楼里长大，学成了一幅口无遮拦的个xìng，碰上李岩这种脸嫩的就忍不住想要说些怪话来调戏他几句，好在现在处于任务中，就强行按捺了下来，转头对另外十一个少年道：“还不赶紧化妆？你们这些一年级生敢不听话？老娘弄死你们！”
那十一名少年被韦小宝威胁，在“三年级”的yín威下，只好不情不愿地换衣服。
麻花辫妹子自己也没闲着，她闪身到了一面屏风后面，刷刷刷地也换了一套衣服，当她从屏风后面转出来时，俨然也变成了一名小太监。她又走到李岩等人前面，帮那些化妆得不够完美的少年调整了一下扮相，最后才满意地了头道：“辣块妈妈的！现在老娘来来给你们讲解任务的细节，一会儿小皇帝会在上书房传召鳌拜，和鳌拜说几句话之后，就会传召你们进上书房，你们两人一对互相摔跤扑击表演，先让鳌拜松懈，只等小皇帝手上的杯盏落地，你们就一起扑上去抱住鳌拜的手脚，让他施展不出武功，然后老娘就出手将鳌拜那激ān贼杀掉……”
李岩听了之后，努力地回想了一下这个计划，感觉和《鹿鼎记》的情节挺相似的，也就没有异议。
麻花辫妹子带着李岩、张君侧、独孤源等人走出了屋子，李岩这才发现，他们已经来到了皇宫大内，刚才那个屋子就是韦小宝的住处，旁边都是树林，颇为幽静。李岩知道这个屋子其实是海公公的，因为海公公身份超然，才能得到一个如此幽静的住处，后来海公公被杀，这个屋子才成为了韦小宝的住处。
麻花辫妹子带着他们走向上书房，沿路碰上了无数太监、宫女、侍卫，这些人见到韦小宝都十分尊敬，肃立在道旁让她先走，口称“桂公公”，可见韦小宝在宫中的地位已经很高了。
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