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第二七六萌、田伯光的缩阳功

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处理完了李岩身上的伤口,洒脱妹子这才端正了仪容,给李岩行了一个大礼:“多谢李岩学弟相救,我险些受了贼侮辱,是你让我保住了清白。还害你受了刀伤,这种大恩,我会记在心里,将来若有机会,定要报答。”

仪琳也学着她的样子,给李岩行了个大礼,道:“师姐也是因为我才被卷入的,我才最该谢谢你们。”

李岩笑道:“小事一桩,不用放在心上,倒是这田伯光要如何处理才好呢?”

三人一起看向晕倒在一边的田伯光。

洒脱妹子抽出剑来道:“这种采花贼。当然要杀之而后快。仪琳师妹,你说呢?”

仪琳道:“师父说坏人都该杀。可能,也许,好像,应该要杀掉吧。”她一派天真,娇憨可爱,就算在说杀字的时候,也没半杀气,反倒是惹人爱怜,可爱得很。

李岩心里打了个凸,想道:杀田伯光?呃……好像我有下不去手呢。

原来,凡是《笑傲江湖》的读者,很难有真正讨厌田伯光的,在原著中,田伯光虽然是个采花贼,但却是那种不讨人厌的贼,他的言行举止,比起名门正派的人还要光明正大许多,排开奸妇女这个缺之外,他别的品性都还不错。要将这样一个人杀掉,对于李岩来说鸭梨很大。

他想了半天,道:“我觉得杀掉也不太好……不如……阉掉吧,让他无法再做贼,这样天下的姑娘们都算是得福了。”

原著中,田伯光的下场就是被不戒大师阉掉,这也算是一个很好的处理方式,李岩觉得这样对付田伯光相当的合理。

洒脱妹子笑道:“人是学弟抓住的,处理他的方法当然由学弟说了算。”

仪琳的脸色通红,也道:“阉……阉掉?这……这……这个……我倒是没意见。”

见她们都同意了,李岩道:“那二位姑娘回避一下吧,阉人这种事,女孩子看了不好,我来动手便是。”

两位姑娘心想:这倒也是,他脱了田伯光的裤子割那话儿,我们两人在旁边看着像什么?还是在洞外等等吧。

两位姑娘出了山洞,站在洞口等候。

李岩则走到田伯光身边,将他的身子翻了一圈,仰面朝天躺着。田伯光长得甚丑,一脸大胡子。李岩心想:长这么丑,找不到女朋友,所以才报复社会,变成采花贼的么?

他不是一个婆婆妈妈的人,既然打定了主意要阉田伯光,也就没有一丝犹豫,左手拉下他的裤子,右手提着满分剑,打算将田伯光的小象一剑斩掉。

不料裤子拉下来之后,李岩一眼扫过去,却没发现小象……

没有小象!

没有小象!

没有小象!

在他眼中看到的,是一个光滑平坦的三角地带,上面芳草丛生,草丛中有一个粉红色的蚌壳,羞涩地张开一儿,露出一粒好看的珍珠……

李岩心想:怪事了,他的下半身咋长成这样?这货难道是个女人?

抬头向上看,只见田伯光胸口平坦,满脸大胡子,怎么看都不是像是女人,而且他刚刚还打算奸洒脱妹子和仪琳,怎么也不可能是女人吧?

李岩转念又想:但是他没有长小象,要怎么奸妇女?对了……有一门神奇的武功,名叫“缩阳功”,我在黑木崖的江湖杂学秘籍中见到过这门功夫,是供一些练金钟罩,铁布衫人的附加修行的,因为练了金钟罩,铁布衫之后,全身刀枪难入,只有是要害位置,因此需要再加练一门“缩阳功”,平时可以将小象缩入体内,就不用担心被人打到罩门。星爷的《鹿鼎记》里,就有过缩阳功的镜头,我怎么会忘了呢?

他伸出一根手指,掏向田伯光双腿之间的那条小缝儿,想将缩进去的小象拧出来切掉。

ps:感谢bxeroxb、想要的没有打赏100起币

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