第四四九萌、崇洋媚外的金发御姐
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李岩大汗,这两御姐说话也不太检了,不愧是魔教中人。
不过两御姐的话没有引起金发御姐半注意,她连看都不看赵鹤和张乘云一眼,只是用母老虎看着猎物的眼光盯着李岩,认真地问道:“喂,那边的男人……You刚才,翻译出了Me骂的两句English吧?”
李岩道:“You_are_a_pig!You_are_a_god!这两句话么?我确实是翻译出来了,但是这种水平的英语有什么好翻译的?简直是小学生的水平都不如。”
金发御姐顿时激动起来:“You……You真的会English?那Me来问You,听好了,Apple是什么意思?”
李岩翻了翻白眼:“后世就算呆逼也知道这是苹果的意思。”
金发御姐大喜道:“那再听好了,My_name_is_ZhuoLengChan,这句话是什么意思?”
李岩无语地道:“我说金发御姐,你能不能考我一比较难,有水准的英语?你这句我的名字叫左冷禅也实在太简单了吧?你在考幼儿园的孩子么?”
金发御姐见他轻松地翻译,连想都没想,激动得更甚,居然开始挣扎了起来,由于她被绳子吊着,这一挣扎就开始在半空中荡来荡去,窈窕而的身躯在半空中晃呀晃的,她喜叫道:“天啊,You真的会English,太棒了!”
“棒你个头啊,我会的才不止这几句幼儿园体英语。”李岩轻咳了一声,道:“算了,给你背一段儿初中的课文吧,John_Snow_was_a_fa摸us_doctor_in_London……”李岩随口就背了一段儿高中英文课文的原文,他是满分男,背几句英文完全是小儿科,而且吐字清楚,发音准确,就连完全不懂英文的十大神魔,也听出来他说的英文比左冷禅要强了不知道多少倍,完全不是一水准级的。
李岩背完,金发御姐已经泪流满面了:“Me终于找到一个懂English的大宋男人,You是不是和西洋人打过交道?You去过西洋吗?”
李岩摊手:“打过交道啊,以前我上的英文补习班就是一个英国人担任老师,我和他挺谈得来的。另外,因为我学习成绩好,去法国巴黎参加过奥林匹克数学竞赛……对了,有一年老妈带我去英国伦敦旅游了一次……咋了?你问这个干嘛?”
“哇?You真的去过?西洋究竟是个啥样子?”金发御姐的双眼闪着星星:“Me也好想去一次啊,求带领……”
“干嘛这么崇洋媚外?”李岩皱起了眉头:“我学英文只是为了师夷长技以制夷,绝没有半把外国人当神来看的意思,我讨厌崇洋媚外的女人。”
“你马上就要死在这里了,还想着西洋?”一名御姐松开扣着赵鹤的右手,向空中一挥,一颗小石子飞了出去,不偏不依,正好在打金发御姐的腰眼上,疼得她全身一弓,像一只虾似的弯起了腰,满头大波浪金发微微颤抖,看起来倒有几分惹人怜惜。
不过十大神魔的外号里有个魔字,对这种事哪会有怜惜之心,那御姐老师顺嘴骂道:“爽吧?一会儿还有更爽的招式在等着你,凌迟三千刀什么的都是小儿科,不弄得你不形,我就从十大神魔里除名。”
李岩抹了把汗。
另一名御姐再次提议道:“还是就用刚才说那招吧,把匕首从她下面,搅碎她的肠子,保证她爽得不行。”
李岩吓了一跳,赶紧道:“别这样!老师们,我觉得……如果她真的得必须杀掉,那就直接杀,千万不要用这种没节,很邪的方式去折磨她,那样太不人道了。”
“哼!我偏要无节,很邪。”一名圆脸的御姐认真地道:“她把我们都害死了,我还不能拼尽全力的报复吗?那样做人岂不是太不爽了。老张、老赵,咱们三个上,把姓左的弄下来,好好地玩弄她几下。”
一名御姐拍了拍手道:“我倒有个好主意,咱们把这女人的牙齿都拔掉,然后让李岩暴她小嘴几十遍,什么深喉一类的玩法都给她上尽,让她尊严尽丧,死之前都记不清自己是个人,这样不错吧?可惜我不是男人,不然我就自己来了。”
几名御姐一起拍手:“好主意!”
李岩吓了一大跳:我勒个去,你们也太没人xìng了啊?虽然这种事对于我这个男人来说,想一想还是觉得挺刺激的,但真要我去做却做不出来。
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