第四四九萌、崇洋媚外的金发御姐
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李岩大汗，这两御姐说话也不太检了，不愧是魔教中人。
不过两御姐的话没有引起金发御姐半注意，她连看都不看赵鹤和张乘云一眼，只是用母老虎看着猎物的眼光盯着李岩，认真地问道：“喂，那边的男人……You刚才，翻译出了Me骂的两句English吧？”
李岩道：“You_are_a_pig！You_are_a_god！这两句话么？我确实是翻译出来了，但是这种水平的英语有什么好翻译的？简直是小学生的水平都不如。”
金发御姐顿时激动起来：“You……You真的会English？那Me来问You，听好了，Apple是什么意思？”
李岩翻了翻白眼：“后世就算呆逼也知道这是苹果的意思。”
金发御姐大喜道：“那再听好了，My_name_is_ZhuoLengChan，这句话是什么意思？”
李岩无语地道：“我说金发御姐，你能不能考我一比较难，有水准的英语？你这句我的名字叫左冷禅也实在太简单了吧？你在考幼儿园的孩子么？”
金发御姐见他轻松地翻译，连想都没想，激动得更甚，居然开始挣扎了起来，由于她被绳子吊着，这一挣扎就开始在半空中荡来荡去，窈窕而的身躯在半空中晃呀晃的，她喜叫道：“天啊，You真的会English，太棒了！”
“棒你个头啊，我会的才不止这几句幼儿园体英语。”李岩轻咳了一声，道：“算了，给你背一段儿初中的课文吧，John_Snow_was_a_fa摸us_doctor_in_London……”李岩随口就背了一段儿高中英文课文的原文，他是满分男，背几句英文完全是小儿科，而且吐字清楚，发音准确，就连完全不懂英文的十大神魔，也听出来他说的英文比左冷禅要强了不知道多少倍，完全不是一水准级的。
李岩背完，金发御姐已经泪流满面了：“Me终于找到一个懂English的大宋男人，You是不是和西洋人打过交道？You去过西洋吗？”
李岩摊手：“打过交道啊，以前我上的英文补习班就是一个英国人担任老师，我和他挺谈得来的。另外，因为我学习成绩好，去法国巴黎参加过奥林匹克数学竞赛……对了，有一年老妈带我去英国伦敦旅游了一次……咋了？你问这个干嘛？”
“哇？You真的去过？西洋究竟是个啥样子？”金发御姐的双眼闪着星星：“Me也好想去一次啊，求带领……”
“干嘛这么崇洋媚外？”李岩皱起了眉头：“我学英文只是为了师夷长技以制夷，绝没有半把外国人当神来看的意思，我讨厌崇洋媚外的女人。”
“你马上就要死在这里了，还想着西洋？”一名御姐松开扣着赵鹤的右手，向空中一挥，一颗小石子飞了出去，不偏不依，正好在打金发御姐的腰眼上，疼得她全身一弓，像一只虾似的弯起了腰，满头大波浪金发微微颤抖，看起来倒有几分惹人怜惜。
不过十大神魔的外号里有个魔字，对这种事哪会有怜惜之心，那御姐老师顺嘴骂道：“爽吧？一会儿还有更爽的招式在等着你，凌迟三千刀什么的都是小儿科，不弄得你不形，我就从十大神魔里除名。”
李岩抹了把汗。
另一名御姐再次提议道：“还是就用刚才说那招吧，把匕首从她下面，搅碎她的肠子，保证她爽得不行。”
李岩吓了一跳，赶紧道：“别这样！老师们，我觉得……如果她真的得必须杀掉，那就直接杀，千万不要用这种没节，很邪的方式去折磨她，那样太不人道了。”
“哼！我偏要无节，很邪。”一名圆脸的御姐认真地道：“她把我们都害死了，我还不能拼尽全力的报复吗？那样做人岂不是太不爽了。老张、老赵，咱们三个上，把姓左的弄下来，好好地玩弄她几下。”
一名御姐拍了拍手道：“我倒有个好主意，咱们把这女人的牙齿都拔掉，然后让李岩暴她小嘴几十遍，什么深喉一类的玩法都给她上尽，让她尊严尽丧，死之前都记不清自己是个人，这样不错吧？可惜我不是男人，不然我就自己来了。”
几名御姐一起拍手：“好主意！”
李岩吓了一大跳：我勒个去，你们也太没人xìng了啊？虽然这种事对于我这个男人来说，想一想还是觉得挺刺激的，但真要我去做却做不出来。
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