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第四七五萌、岳母的纹身艺术

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李岩噗通一声仰天就倒,可怜的岳元帅哇,你怎么就这样被毁了呢?

老夫人看了看李岩,认真地道:“小英雄,要我帮你刺什么在身上吗?我的纹身手艺一流呢,比如,我可以帮你在背上刺一条青龙,很气势的。”

李岩心想:在身上刺一条龙,那不就成了黑社会?有够汗的,当然,最汗的是万一她纹好之后不满意,在上面打一把叉再重纹个什么,那就彻底完了。赶紧拒绝道:“不要,小弟我不喜纹身,还是算了吧。”

其实李岩倒不是不能接受纹身,在后世,纹身已经成为了一种时尚,比如在手臂上纹一只鹰,在胸口纹个什么狼头一类的,女人们则喜欢在腰上,或者上,或者脚腕手腕上纹一朵花,一只蝴蝶一类的,都是很时尚的玩法。但是……李岩可不希望自己被人纹一把叉在身上。

却不料黑长直御姐喜气洋洋地跑过来道:“老夫人,帮Me纹东西吧,Me想在胸部正中间这里纹一只大蝴蝶,蝴蝶的两只翅膀要正好分开在两个胸部上,这样一来,每当Me穿低胸晚礼服时,就会露出一只大蝴蝶在别人面前,好酷,最酷的是,胸部抖动的时候,蝴蝶就会扇动翅膀呢。”

李岩楞住,脑子里闪过一幅胸部颤抖时蝴蝶飞舞的画面,随即,一条鼻血缓缓地流淌了出来,天啊,这个也太刺激了,黑长直御姐果然有西方化,这种事亏她想得出来。

只见黑长直御姐将衣领向下拉开,露出了上半截胸部,当真是雪白得耀眼,其实李岩在山腹洞里时就看过她的身体了,但是女人全脱光了看果然没啥看头,像现在这样大部份地方遮掩得严严实实,只露半边胸部出来看,反而更加勾魂。他心中暗叫奇怪:后世大街上穿低胸衣服,露上半截胸部出来的女人很多,自己看了也没觉得怎样啊?怎么现在如此不济了?肯定是在古代待得太久,这里的女人个个保守,看多了保守的,偶尔看到这种低胸,就有伤不起了。

李岩不敢多看,怕自己节cāo沦丧,只好扭过头去,看向窗外的景sè。

不看不打紧,这一看,就发现有不对劲了,只见江面上有两艘小舟,正以飞快的速度,向着本船靠过来,船上的水夫正向着自己这边的船夫招手,吆喝着一些听不懂的黑话。

李岩的第一反应就是“不好,被人盯上了”,不过他马上又转念一想,不对劲,如果对方已经知道我们的船上有岳母,只怕来的不是两条小舟,而是数十条大船,将自己团团围住,布下天罗地网,这两艘靠过来的船一定别的原因。

想到这里,李岩倒是镇定下来,他拿出丑脸汉子的人皮面具,往脸上一蒙,然后披上一件破烂的衣服,走出船舱,上到了甲板,站在船夫身边,低声问那船夫:“发生什么事了?”

船夫见李岩一张丑脸,似乎不是先一批上船的人啊,但他也没细想,反正那群人有十来个,里面有一个丑脸汉子没朝过面也正常,于是回道:“客官不用担心,这只是例行的收保护费罢了。”

“收保护费?”李岩皱起了眉头。

船夫道:“前面就是嘉陵江与长江交界之处了,咱们马上就要进入长江,而一旦进入长江就是长江水道十二连环坞的地盘,每一艘进长江的船只,都要向十二连环坞交纳保护费,否则是无法在长江上行船的,这两艘小舟就是十二连环坞派驻在这里的哨船,专门向进江的船只收取保护费。”

李岩这才明白过来,这就和后世的黑社会划地盘收费是一样的,算是黑社会的一种“正常收入”,已经成为了某种约定俗成,在后世就算是jǐng察都不会插手管。

船夫道:“你们给了我足够多的船资,交保护费绰绰有余,这里就不劳您费心了,请您先回船舱里吧,我会好好处理的。”

李岩道:“你一个人面对黑道混混不会害怕么?我在这里陪着你站着吧。”

船夫感激得不行,连声道:“客官真是好人,不怕您笑,我还真有怕这些黑道混混……唉呀,只求他们收了保护费赶紧走,不要抢我船上的东西。”

两人说话间,十二连环坞的小船已经靠近到了大船边上,两名小喽罗勾住大船的船舷爬了上来,到了船夫面前,两人嚣张地伸手道:“拿来!”

船夫赶紧头哈腰地道:“是!是!”伸手从怀中摸出一锭银子来,足足有十两重,交到喽罗的手上,那喽罗道:“你这船夫面生得很,从哪里来的,要到哪里去,上面载了些什么人,报备清楚。”

船夫赶紧道:“我是州河那边讨生活的船夫,平时里很少来长江,最远也就到嘉陵江就倒转了,因此面生,这次载了贵客,要到四川宜宾去,还请两位大爷多多照顾。”

那喽罗嘿地笑了一声道:“什么贵客这么了不得?叫出来让哥俩见一见。”

李岩知道这个问题船夫肯定答不好,于是站到了船夫身边,低声道:“我就是这艘船上的客人。”

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