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第五八二萌、神仙哥哥

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第二更——

书呆妹子轻轻地走进了石室,她走得很小心,因为她怀疑这个山洞是神仙姐姐和神仙哥哥居住的地方,也就是所谓的神仙洞府,在这里走路,能不小心么?万一冒犯了神仙,那可不是说着玩的。更多小说ltxsba.com

她走石室,第一眼看到的不是满屋子的蒲团,而是站在屋角里伪装成雕像的李岩。只看了一眼,连李岩的脸都没看清,书呆妹子就慌慌张张地拜了下去:“在下段誉,无意冒犯神仙哥哥,误闯您的洞府,还请多多包涵……”

李岩不动!

书呆妹子跪拜在地上,静静地等了一阵,见神仙哥哥没有动静,这才缓缓地抬头,开始认真地打量起李岩来,很快,她就发现这并不是一个神仙,而是一个雕像。雕像做得细致,不光身材比例很合适,甚至连关节、骨胳,肌肉等东西,都做得栩栩如生,甚至……连跨下的那个小伙伴也有……当然,书呆妹子并没有见过男人的小伙伴究竟是啥样子,所以也无从判断那东西做得真不真。要说这具“雕像”唯一和人不同之处,那就是皮肤,毕竟是雕像嘛,皮肤脏兮兮的,上面布满了灰尘,轻轻一吹,就能蓬起来一大堆灰似的。

书呆妹子忍不住叹道:“神仙哥哥,你的雕像在这石室里站了也不知道多少年月了,居然积了这么多灰在身上,真是太可怜了……哎哟,你没穿衣服。我却这般瞪着你。忒也无礼……你放心。那关键的位置,我是视而不见的,咳,视而不见……”她赶紧又对着李岩拜了一拜,眼光却偷偷在李岩的小象上瞄了一眼。

李岩不动!心中哀叫:完蛋了,小象被看了。

“神仙哥哥,在下段誉今日得睹尊容,死而无憾。神仙哥哥在此离世独居,不也太寂寞了么?”她随即又晒笑道:“哦,不对,你还有几个神仙姐姐作陪,我倒是差把这件事给忘了。”

李岩不动!

“呀,你的脸我怎么感觉似曾相识?”书呆妹子和李岩是认识的,还在一起聊过不少次天,只是数个月未见了,而且李岩脸上又蒙了一层厚厚的灰,她倒是没有认得出来。只是觉得曾经在哪里见过。

李岩不动!

书呆妹子这时开始打量起石室来,只见石室中到处都是蒲团。东一个西一个,层层叠叠,堆得老高,她不禁奇道:“这房间是怎么回事,为何要放这么多蒲团呢?啊,我懂了,这些蒲团是供人跪在上面,对神仙哥哥进行膜拜的。”

她是个呆气十足之人,读书读傻了的典型,此时也不多加细想,便从旁边随手拿了一个蒲团过来,放在李岩的脚前面,然后深深地跪拜了下去,道:“神仙哥哥在上,在下为你磕几个头原是天经地义之事,您还为在下准备好了蒲团,真是太体贴了。”

李岩不动!心动却大汗:我勒个天啊,你这妹子究竟要神经病到什么程度?才会莫名其妙对一个石室里的雕像磕头啊?不过话说回来,原著里的段誉,也是莫名其妙对玉像磕头的。

只见书呆妹子在蒲团上“碰碰碰”地连磕了数个头,那蒲团极脏,这几个头磕下来,她的额头和脸也被弄得满是灰尘,难看之极,但她毫不在意,又一连串地磕了几个头。

那蒲团是由粗布制成,放了时间长了之后,布质已粉,几个头一磕,粗麻布就撕裂开来,里面居然露出一个小小的绸包。

李岩见到这个场面,顿时大惊:我擦,我在这里找了近百个蒲团都没找到北冥神功,没想到段誉进来随手拿个蒲团,北冥神功就在里面,这尼玛太坑人了吧?不带这么玩人的。

只见书呆妹子打开绸包,还真的从里面翻出两本秘籍来,一本上面写着《北冥神功》,另一本则写着《凌波微步》,书呆妹子只看了一眼,就不高兴了:“哎呀,怎么是武功秘籍?武功秘籍什么的最讨厌了,父亲老是逼我学武,进了黑木崖之后,周围的同学也个个勤练武功,我偏偏就不喜欢。”

说完,她便打算将这两本书撕掉。

在《天龙八部》原著中,段誉是因为神仙姐姐要他学武功,他才肯学的,但在这个位面,事情发生了一变化,神仙姐姐的玉像什么的不复存在,也就没有人叫段誉学武了,她拿到秘籍,居然立即就想撕掉。

李岩这一下所惊非小,要是这两本宝贵的秘籍被段誉撕掉,岂不就坑爹坑大了,这已经不是伪装雕像遮羞的时候了,就算被人当成暴露狂,也必须保下这两本珍贵的秘籍。

李岩赶紧开口道:“手下留书!”

他一开口,立即把书呆妹子吓了个半死,惊呼一声,连退数步:“啊,神仙哥哥,你……你……你怎么动起来了?你不是一具雕像吗?”

李岩急中生智,道:“因为我是神仙,所以就算是雕像也能动……”

这种尼玛坑爹的理由,普通人绝不会信,但书呆妹子偏就信了,她拍手道:“原来如此啊,神仙是神通广大的,变成雕像也能走动显灵,有道理。请问神仙哥哥,你显灵出来是要做什么啊?啊,是不是我没带贡品来害你生气了?你等等,我这就出去给你采果子来做贡品。”说完,她又瞅了一眼李岩光溜溜的身体,抹了一把汗道:“神仙哥哥为啥不穿衣服?”

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