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第六四六萌、妥妥变成老**的节奏

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于是她拼尽全力,挤出了一丝笑容,对着李岩道:“这位少……咳……这位帅气的弟弟,你想不想学先天功?这可是超级内功哦,学会了之后,就像姐姐一样厉害无比,只要你想学,我就可以教你哦。”

她满以为这话说出来李岩会立即答应,却没想到李岩连一眨眼的时间都没考虑,便答道:“不学!”

“我晕,不是吧?”王重阳大惊:“为啥这么果断地拒绝?”

李岩毫不迟疑地道:“傻瓜都知道,要学先天功就必须禁欲,不能ooxx,我可不想做一个活太监,我还要和老婆亲热呢,这门功夫是坚决不学的。”

“噗!”王重阳吐了一口血。

其实先天功的问题,王重阳是知道的,正是由于学习先天功要禁欲,她的七个弟子,也就是全真七子,没有一个愿意学的。当然,她们七个的习武资质不太好,也学不成先天功,所以王重阳就不强逼全真七子跟着她学了。

但是全真七子不肯学先天功也不是会明目张胆地说出“我要和老婆亲热”这种劲暴之极的话啊,这话落在清修几十年不近男色的王重阳耳中,实在是杀伤力太大了。

李岩转过身去,又对着女帝道:“皇帝姐姐,我劝你也别学什么先天功了,这玩意一学了就守活寡,我听说你还没嫁人呢,这么早就绝了自己嫁人之路,未免有不合算,比起武功来,人还是要享受生活更重要,这些乱七八糟灭人欲的功夫,咱们千万不能学。你看王重阳,就是修了先天功,现在长相虽然还是漂亮,但死板着一张脸,严肃得过了头,未免有不够女人味了,这就是典型的先天功坏了事。”

“噗!”王重阳又吐了一口血,这几句话杀伤力实在太大了,她简直招架不能。抚了抚胸口,顺了半天的气之后,她才勉强回过神来,哼哼道:“女人味这种东西是不必要的,首先,我是一个道姑,道姑要什么女人味?再次,我本来的志向是要报效大宋,抵抗北虏入侵,但国家羸弱,奸臣当道,我已经对大宋绝望,打算将先天功传给后人,便去终南山后的活人墓里了此残生,这时候要女儿味来有个屁用啊?”

听了这话,李岩立即便回想起原著中的情节来,其实活死人墓并不是林朝英挖的坑,而是王重阳挖的坑,他本来打算自己跳坑的,但是林朝英抢了他的坑跳,结果嘛……最后王重阳就开创了全真派,活人墓却被林朝英的古墓派给占了去。

总的来说,这是一个典型的挖坑让别人跳的事例!

李岩不禁道:“难怪你急吼吼的要给先天功找传人,但是嘛……我还是不学,这辈子我要老婆孩子热炕头的过活,不想搞什么挖个坑跳进去一类的玩法。”

王重阳道:“你不想学先天功就罢了,我不逼你就是,但你怎么又出言耸拥南帝不要学?你这么搞,我还怎么传功?传不了功我怎么归隐?还要不要人愉快地玩耍了?”

李岩心想:你传功传来传去的,会把南帝传成一个和尚……咦?不对,这个位面南帝变成女帝了,那就不能变和尚,会变尼姑啊,大美女一枚变成尼姑,多可惜……这简直就是坑人家的节奏,先天功这种危险的东西,还是不要拿出来乱教人吧。

李岩一脸严肃地对女帝道:“皇帝姐姐,我建议你考虑清楚,先天功那玩意儿学了之后,你就不能再和男人那啥,否则前功尽弃,学了也白学……今后的人生,将会一片灰暗,搞不好就出家为尼,法号一灯了,你可千万要想清楚。”

女帝笑道:“出家也没什么呀,咱们大理国历代的皇帝多有出家的,我跟着出一出家,也是大理国的时尚嘛,而且……我现在也没有喜欢的男人,暂时没有想过嫁人,出个家问题不大。”

李岩大汗:“好吧,反正是你的事,我可无权多说。”他对着王重阳扁了扁嘴道:“看,我耸拥她也没用嘛,她还是决定要学的,算了,反正不关我事,我撤。”言毕转身就走。

王重阳在后面大叫道:“喂,你这么好的资质,这么强的学习能力,不学先天功实在太浪费了啊,就考虑考虑,学一下嘛。”

李岩头都不回地道:“不考虑,坚决不做太监,我还有好多妹子要照顾。”

“喂,少年戒之在色,你这样是不对的。”王重阳道:“别一天到晚妹子妹子的,你这样太不健康了。”

李岩大汗:“你才不健康好不好?为了练个啥功,连男人都不敢碰,这么下去,妥妥变成老的节奏,以后性格越来越扭曲,这可肿么办?我才不要变成你那样。”

ps:感谢云歧青谷打赏200起币,梦游走天下、孤魄幽魂、0o西施狗o0打赏100起币

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