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第八二五萌 最后一道金牌

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李岩心中好笑,脸上却故意黑下来道:“我来问你,皇上是个喜欢捡肥皂的男人么?为啥他会对岳元帅一见钟情?”

三十二公公猛摇头道:“不是,不是……皇上是美女啊,难道你不知道?我大宋皇帝是个女子,你是不是大宋人啊?”

李岩:“……”

坑了个爹!李岩终于恍然大悟,搞了半天,皇帝是女人啊,难怪这封信给人感觉怪怪的,原来如此,那就说得通了,这个位面极度无节操,皇帝居然是个女人,那她一见钟情爱上了英俊潇洒的岳飞就可以理解了。但是……李岩一直以为十二道金牌召岳飞回京是为了害死他,没想到居然是因为皇帝担心他被金人所伤,于是才要召他回安全的地方去,这尼玛也太坑爹了,这究竟是哪个无良的位面之神想出来的东西?

李岩不禁生起气来,“碰”地一脚,踢了三十二公公一个筋斗道:“皇帝还没嫁人么?干嘛要和岳元帅做地下情人?”

三十二公公苦笑道:“皇上是一国之君,那眼光水准多高啊,普通人怎能入皇上的法眼?也只有岳元帅这般英明神武的男人,才配得上皇上,但是……好男人总是手快有,手慢无,皇上下手稍慢了,岳元帅的儿子岳云都长这么大了……想毕皇上也觉得硬要和岳夫人抢男人有失体统,只好做地下情人了。”

李岩感觉自己要被弄出神经病了,以手抚额,四十度仰面朝天,泪流满面。

岳飞喃喃地道:“这……这可如何是好?”

李岩也汗道:“连我都不知道如何是好了……”

“那啥……三十二公公,劳您送信辛苦了,先休息会儿吧,信的事我不会说出去的。”岳飞皱起眉头道:“但回不回京的事,我要重新考虑一下,请给我一晚上的时间。”

见岳飞陷入了沉思中,李岩也不便留下了,他赶紧把柳随风、萧秋水一起叫到自己的帐篷里来,这时燕狂徒也已经起了床,正在李岩的帐篷里无聊,见他突然带着两妹子回来,赶紧跳出来道:“情况如何了?十二道金牌来了吗?岳元帅什么时候启程回京?咱们什么时候下手?”

听她劈头盖脸一通问题,李岩不禁苦笑道:“莫急,今天我听到了一个天大的恐怖消息,正要和你们分享呢……来,排排坐,准备听恐怖故事了。”

“喂,这国难当头的,讲什么恐怖故事?”燕狂徒不满地道:“何况,天下还有什么恐怖故事能吓倒我燕狂徒?”

李岩苦笑:“你听了之后就知道了。”他便把皇帝写给岳飞的信背了一遍,李岩的记忆力很好,过目不忘,这信还真是背得一个字不错。

背完之后再看,只见柳随风、萧秋水、燕狂徒三个人,全都张大了嘴巴,变成了石化状态……

“怎么样?恐怖故事吧?”

燕狂徒抹了一把汗:“确实是好恐怖啊好恐怖。”

萧秋水道:“看来皇帝也需要学学忘情天书,她忘了情就不会叫岳元帅退兵了……”

这时候,柳随风已经从震惊中清醒过来了,她突然一拍掌道:“好啊!这是件好事啊。”

“好事?”三人大奇。

柳随风笑道:“当然是好事,皇帝在信末不是说了么?只要岳元帅肯和她做一对地下情人。她就什么都岳元帅的,大宋所有的士兵都给岳元帅调遣啊……要知道女人在恋爱中是盲目的,岳元帅一旦控制了皇帝,那就成了天下兵马大元帅,到时候再也没有什么奸臣能拖他的后腿,他可以把所有的军队都训练成岳家军,到时候想怎么北伐就怎么北伐,大军到处,金国强盗必定灰飞烟灭,我大宋岂不是立即就能把不利的局面扳回来?到时候我权力帮甚至都不必再出来争天下了,岳元帅必定能给百姓们建立出一个美好的家园。”

“这……欺骗别人感情不太好吧?”李岩汗道:“岳元帅也不会答应做这种下流事的。”

燕狂徒也道:“是啊是啊,岳元帅是大宋最正直之人,岂会这样对待女性?”

柳随风哼哼道:“你怎么知道是欺骗感情呢?说不定皇帝长得很漂亮,岳元帅早就喜欢她了,只是迫于对方的身份地位,没敢开口,现在既然对方有意思,正好郎情妾意,这就不算下流事了吧?”

ps:

感谢桔翎打赏200起币,胖丁2是我、ll我是谁、我来杂场子、菠萝蛋蛋疼打赏100起币

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