第九二一萌 情商是怎样炼成的
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提督汗道:“皇上,微臣不是用屁股想问题的,是用脑子……”
“住嘴!我说你是用的屁股,你就是用的屁股。”女皇帝怒道:“速速去帮我找那公子,若是找到就罢了,找不到的话,治你玩忽职守之罪,拿你的薪俸来重建书局。”
那提督大汗:“遵命,微臣这就去办。”
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李岩几经辛苦,终于得到了《太监眼中的女人》,心中喜悦不已,几个箭步就拐到了无人的小巷之中,研读这种能提高情商的绝世巨著,当然要在安静无人之处,集中所有注意力,尽情的领悟,方能得已提高。
他用颤抖的手翻开了封面,立即就见到了“前言”,一本书的灵魂往往就在“前言”之中,写书的人有没有水平,只需要一看“前言”就可以看出一大半。
只见这里写着:“男人和女人,又可被称为喵星人与汪星人,由于分属两个不同的星球,因此难免有一定的屁股问题。男人用男人的屁股来想问题,女人用女人的屁股来想问题。举个例子吧,假如一个男人出了轨,男人们大抵上会说‘肯定是家里的女人没把他服侍好,他才会出轨的,情有可原’,但女人们却会大骂这个男人负心薄幸。假如一个女人出了轨,男人们大抵上会说‘这女人不守妇道,水性扬花’,但女人们却会说‘肯定是这女人的男人是个三秒男,满足不了她,就莫怪人家要出去打野食’,由此可见,男人和女人在看待同一件事物的时候,带有屁股性。他们的看法都是不客观的。”
李岩看了这一段,只觉得说得非常有道理,深以为然。于是认真地看下去,只见后面写着:“因此。想要客观地评价女人,不论让男人来评还是女人来评,都是不准确的,唯有超脱于男女之外,不受性别的屁股左右,才得看到最真实,最客观的女人。毫无疑问,这个世界上只有太监才能做到超脱于男女的束缚之外,不用屁股想问题,只用脑子来思考。用最客观,最真实的眼光,带你了解什么是女人,请看本书《太监眼中的女人》。”
李岩不禁大喜:“前言超有水平,这本书绝对是超级著作啊!”
他用颤抖的手。缓缓地翻开了第一页,只见这里写着:“第一章,女性的嫉妒……”(第二四一萌里有摘要,为免大家说我骗字数,这里就不再写了)
李岩不看不知道,一看真奇妙,天啊。这本书果真是奇书,神书,里面详细地讲解了无数女人的心理,简直让李岩大开眼界,这一看,就看得不知时间流逝。直到天色开始渐晚,日头偏斜,影响到了他看书,这才猛然一醒,哎哟。不好了,和李沉舟约好了黄昏时分在“花都”见面,我居然把这事儿给忘了。
李岩赶紧把书往自己怀里一揣,向着花都飞速赶去。他花了好几个时辰研究神书,只觉得自己的情商已经有了质的飞跃,现在走起路来都自信了三分,嗯……看,那边有两个年轻女子一直在睁着我看,哈哈,肯定是她们两个觉得我帅,所以才多看我两眼,没错,书里就是这样写的。李岩不禁大喜,自己的情商果然提高了,居然一眼就能看出有女人觉得我帅了,哈哈哈……
李岩大笑着从那两个年轻女子面前走过,头也不回,潇洒地走远,挥挥手,不带走一丝云彩……当他走远之后,却见其中一名年轻女子从怀中摸出一幅画像来,对旁边的女子道:“仔细看看,是不是他?”
另一个女子了头道:“没错,这就是皇上指名要找的人。不过……根据皇上的回忆画出来的画,好像和他本人有不一样啊,画上面的人是不是要更帅一些?”
先前那女子冷哼道:“你是猪么?女人在描叙自己有好感的男人时,当然会自己横加一些本来没有的东西,结果就让那人变帅了。你这傻逼连这都不懂?你有没有情商?”
另一个女子汗道:“原来如此,也就是说,皇上对这男人有好感?”
“你这不废话吗?皇上说找到他之后切不可得罪他,要找到他的落脚之地,皇上随后要去登门拜谢,哼,登门拜谢当然是假的,其实是要勾搭成奸才对。咱们也别废话了,赶紧跟上他,可莫把人弄丢了。”先前那女子道:“升官发财,就靠这一搏了。”
两个女子做了做手势,只见街上无数人活动了起来,有卖菜的小贩、有挑水的大妈、有杀猪的屠夫……三教九流,无所不有,皇上身为一国之君,统治阶级最大明的人物,手上的实力比起两个奸相来大了不知道多少倍,无数的探子发动起来寻找一个人,当真是恐怖之极,统制阶级的力量在这一刻暴露无疑,原来李岩刚才走过的那一条街,只有一成不到的人是普通的平民百姓,倒有九成的人是朝廷的探子。这些探子瞬间化整为零,分成无数小队,互相打着掩护,跟在了李岩的后面。
ps:
感谢书友140308010307871打赏588起币,中二最萌打赏500起币,想要的没有打赏200起币,真小狼、Ω鬼舞牛蛇*、书友140805183406492、唯我独尊笑叶冥、、我愛黑夜打赏100起币
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