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第九二四萌、皇上要进**

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“全是破鞋?”女皇帝楞了楞:“原来世界上还有这种神奇的地方吗?把大量的破鞋女人聚集起来,大家互舔伤口,互相鼓励,互相扶持,一起坚强地活下去,这地方太适合朕了,因为朕就是个破鞋。”

米苍穹一阵头晕:“皇上怎么会自认破鞋?”

三十二公公从臭水沟里爬出来,低声向米苍穹解释道:“皇上被那个假岳飞又摸又亲的,做了许多过份的事,但并没有做到最后一步,所以皇上根本就不是破鞋,米公公您快劝劝她。”

米苍穹不知是计,凑向女皇帝,低声道:“皇上,您不是破鞋啊,只是被人摸了两下,亲了两下罢了,这事不算什么,只要没有丢掉贞洁,就算不上破鞋,您就别进去和那些真正的破鞋凑一块儿了。”

“又摸又亲这事不算什么?”女皇帝大怒:“桂花何在?”

一个又胖又丑,曾经吓得三十二公公屁滚屁流的宫女跳了出来:“皇上有何吩咐?”

女皇帝道:“让米苍穹知道什么叫又摸又亲。”

那又胖又丑的宫女立即逼向米苍穹,伸出肥肥的巨手摸过去,厚得像板砖的嘴唇也凑过去要亲米苍穹,米苍穹惨叫一声,向后狂退五步,大喊道:“我明白了……我明白了,您是破鞋,错不了,您真的是破鞋。”

旁边的人一起抹了一把大汗,心想:米公公啊,你当着几万御林军和大内高手的面说皇上是破鞋,你这下真是死定了。

三十二公公却暗自偷笑:叫你把我打出黑眼圈,叫你把我扔臭水沟,这下你爽了吧?哈哈!

女皇帝冷哼了一声道:“哼!当街辱骂皇帝,你该当何罪?好好护送我进去寻人,若是找到了,我就饶了你,若是找不到,就要治你无君无父,以下犯上之罪。”

米苍穹苦着脸道:“是是是……老奴听旨。”他招了招手,两个探子凑了过来,米苍穹抬手就给了那两个探子一人两耳光,扇过之后,心里情稍稍好转,这才问道:“你们可确定那男人进了花都?”

两个探子赶紧道:“确定!我们跟着他到了花都门口,里面进来两个姑娘招呼他进去,他还向那两个姑娘调笑说‘哎哟,小桃花、小苹果,好久不见你们,真是想死本公子了,今晚一定要喂饱你们这两个小狐狸。’说完就搂着两个姑娘的腰,笑嘻嘻地进去了。’

米苍穹赶紧转过头来,对女皇帝道:“皇上,您听他们说的,这个男人不是好人啊,他居然搂着两个姑娘进去寻欢作乐了,这种男人您还谢他做什么?这简直就是人渣,流氓……不配做人啊。”

站在旁边的中书令张大人顿时怒瞪了米苍穹一眼,心中暗骂:老子寻花问柳又怎么了?哪个男人不逛青楼?凭什么逛个青楼就被骂成人渣流氓不配做人?你们太监没那功能,老子可是正常男人。

女皇帝听说李岩搂着两个姑娘进去了,心里颇为好奇,轻咳了一声道:“米公公,你不是说这里面的女人都是破鞋吗?为啥那公子还搂着两个进去了?”

米苍穹赶紧道:“这说明那男人没节操啊,喜欢搞破鞋的男人,啧啧……笑死人!”

女皇帝突然一拍手,笑道:“哎哟,这对我来说不是好消息么?我是破鞋,他喜欢破鞋,我和他正好可以做朋友。”

“噗!”米苍穹一口鲜血喷出。三十二公公站在他正对面,见血箭射来,赶紧一闪身,后面几个大内高手被喷了一头一脸。

“废话不要多说。”女皇帝挥手道:“朕现在就要进去,立即,马上,但是朕是微服出宫的,不能暴露身份,那个公子也不知道朕是皇帝呢,朕也不想让他知道,你就以你的名义进去,现在开始我是你的婢女。进去之后你负责找人,朕闭着嘴当跟班。”

米苍穹苦着脸:坑爹啊?我是太监,你让我用自己的名义进去?我进去能做啥?而且你说自己是婢女,有穿得你这么贵气的婢女么?身上的美玉一块就能值几万两银子的婢女,这天下到哪里去找?

米苍穹无奈地起几十名高手护驾,将御林军留在外面围着,女皇帝跟在后面,三十二公公居然也厚着脸皮跟过来,一群人脸色古怪地走向花都。

一个大茶壶全身打着颤儿迎了上来,他显然是被外面的大军吓破胆了,但是作为一个大茶壶的职业道德,使得他必须上来迎客,结结巴巴地道:“各……各……各位大爷……来找姑娘玩啊?要……要……要不要小的给你们领路。”

米苍穹干咳了一声道:“没错,我来找几个姑娘玩玩。”rs

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