第九七三萌、少林寺第一禁书
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这一下萧秋水就不干了，她和李岩挤在一起倒是没关系，虽然感觉有亵渎神佛，但却并不是讨厌和李岩接触，现在莫名其妙又加个和尚进来，那如何能够？
萧秋水低声道：“喂喂，李岩，这样不妥吧？你再拎个和尚过来，我岂不是又得挤在这和尚身上？我的清白还要不要了？我可是黄花闺女来的。”
李岩心想，这倒也是，怎么说也不能让萧秋水被别人乱七八糟的男人挤吧？我得先确定一下，这个和尚究竟是不是阿朱，如果是的话，那就没关系了，如果不是，那就得赶紧扔出去。他被这个没节操的位面坑得太惨，现在对别人的性别都不敢轻易去判断了，虚竹既然能是个村姑，那阿朱也有可能是个男人，尤其是阿朱也是长于易容术的，和柳随风的千变万化有异曲同工之妙，这种事一都大意不得。
想到这里，李岩就伸出去手去，在疑似阿朱的和尚胸前用力摸了一把，这是确定一个人是男是女最好的办法，我管你三七二十一，先一把摸上去，是男是女立即见分晓……果然，这一把摸下去，只觉得入手处软绵绵的，极富弹性，36c肯定是有的，软绵绵的十分舒服，这一下李岩张于松了口气，低声道：“嘿，果然是阿朱姑娘，那就好办了……你别叫别闹，回头我会保护你逃出少林寺去。”
李岩话音未落，就听到怀里的阿朱发出一声能穿透云宵的尖叫：“救命啊，非礼啊……”
“我晕，你叫个啥？”李岩大惊：“你不是来偷经书的吗？低调……”
阿朱心想：你都要非礼我了，我还低调个屁啊，先叫了再说，偷经书事小，少林寺的和尚也不可能杀了我，我多被软禁起来，要是我不叫，被你这淫贼在佛像后面强暴了，那才叫个真的惨。
阿朱扯开嗓子，继续叫道：“救命啊，有人非礼良家少女啊……”
这时候想阿朱的哑穴已经来不及了，她尖锐的女高音瞬间传了十里八里远，外面的少林和尚轰地一声涌了进来，将菩提院里院外，围了个水泄不通。
李岩苦笑了一声：尼玛，这个位面真的是坑爹坑死人啊。
只见进来的那一大堆和尚里，领头的两人乃是玄难和玄寂，都是武功极为高强的老和尚，与玄慈是师兄弟，在《天龙八部》一书中，玄难和玄寂的武功比乔峰也差不了多少，这两人如果联手，那可是相当难缠的。
玄难一进来，眼光就锁定到了三尊佛像上：“阿弥陀佛，不知何方高人，深夜驾临我少林寺，有何贵干？”
李岩知道无法再藏，只好从佛像后面跳了出来，但他并没有把阿朱拎出去，虽然阿朱也是来偷易筋经的，但易筋经现在已经落在了李岩手上，这种时候就没有必要再把阿朱也卷入了。关键是，李岩担心把阿朱带出来的话，会导致她身受重伤，因为原著中的阿朱就是在这里重伤的，差就死掉了，李岩可不希望她莫名其妙又被打伤。
李岩跳出来，摊了摊手道：“哎哟，几位大师，白天才见过面，没想到晚上又见了。”
他这一出来，玄难和玄寂就楞住了，楞了好半天之后，玄难才道：“原来是李少侠，你跑咱们少林寺菩提院里来做啥？”
李岩心想：“我来偷易筋经，这事儿可不能说，说出去丢人丢到死。”他正想找个借口随便糊弄一下，却听到佛像后面又传来阿朱的声音道：“这个男人在佛像后面和女人亲热，还想要非礼我。”
“纳尼？”少林寺的和尚们齐齐大惊失色：“你……你……你……你深夜闯入少林寺，就是为了在佛像的后面和女人亲热？还要非礼本寺的年轻弟子，你是男女不忌么？你这简直是丧心病狂啊。”
玄难感觉压力很大，抹了一把汗道：“李少侠，白天你在寺外胡说八道，帮助犯了清规戒律的玄慈师兄，咱们也就不说了，也没和你计较，但是你半夜三更跑进寺里来，还要在神佛的面前做那种事，未免不太对吧，这次你真的站不住理了。咱们这些做和尚的，就算真的不执着于万物，把一切都当成空，但也没有坐视你亵渎菩萨的道理。”
李岩满头大汗滚滚而下，这尼玛一世英明尽丧啊。两害相权取其轻，还是说明一下自己的真正来意吧。他只好光棍地道：“别听那假和尚胡说，我来少林才不是为了和妹子在佛像后面亲热，我是来盗易筋经的。”
“盗易筋经？”玄难楞了楞：“少侠别说笑，你怎么看都不像来盗经的，分明就是来推妹子的吧？”
李岩抹了一把汗：“不不，我真的是来盗易筋经的，不信你看那铜镜，都被我翻起来了。”
玄寂走到那藏易筋经的大铜镜边看了一眼，道：“玄难师兄，藏易筋经的地方果然被人动过了，但是……易筋经还在里面好好的放着，倒是放在易筋经上面的一本经书不见了……”
玄难神情顿时变得紧张起来：“易筋经上面的经书不见了，莫非是？”
玄寂脸色沉重地了头道：“少林寺第一，《欢喜禅功》，被偷了！”
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