第九七八萌、多么的丧心病狂
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第一更
妹子们齐齐一楞,这老和尚不是来拦我们的,居然是怕我们拿走的经书不多,还要再塞几本佛经给我们?世界上居然有这种事?
李岩倒是表示淡定,《天龙八部》里就有类似的情节,当初萧远山到藏经阁里盗秘籍,扫地僧就在旁边看到了,见萧远山偷了一本《般若掌法》,扫地僧怕他因此而入魔,就拿了一本《法华经》和一本《杂阿含经》放在萧远山贯常取经之处。更多小说ltxsba.com由此可见,扫地僧其实是个挺慈悲的家伙,别人盗武功秘籍,他就再附送佛法经文。
现在,李岩来盗《易筋经》,扫地僧当然也要送他几本佛经,倒也在情理之中。
李岩对扫地僧还是颇为尊敬的,实际上保守派的和尚都在李岩尊敬的行列中,于是抱了抱拳道:“多谢大师,不知道大师有哪几本佛经要介绍给我们看?”
扫地僧微笑道:“如果是一般的少林绝技,只消看一两本佛经就可以化解戾气,但《易筋经》是我少林寺的镇寺之宝,最为高深的内功心法,所以……咳咳……要练好易筋经,必须要修完所有的佛法才行。”
“啥?修完所有的佛法?”李岩大汗。
扫地僧的身子向旁边一侧,让李岩可以看到他身后的情形,只见那里堆着一大堆佛经,犹如小山似的,最少也有千儿八百本,李岩随眼一扫,《心经》、《无量寿经》、《地藏经》、《华严经》、《金刚经》、《了凡四训》、《阿弥陀经》、《楞严经》、《十善业道经》、《妙法莲花经》、《圆觉经》、《六祖坛经》、《四十二章经》、《观世音菩萨普门品》、《药师经》、《楞伽经》、《普贤行愿品》、《佛说盂兰盆经》、《八大人觉经》、《大乘起信论》、《瑜伽师地论》、《维摩诘经》、《解深密经》、《成唯识论》、《俱舍论》……
“乖乖我的妈。”李岩倒抽了一口凉气:“这些东西,全部要读完?”
扫地僧严肃地了头:“要学少林寺至高无上的心法《易筋经》,就要通晓所有佛法,否则是不行的。”
“我晕!”燕狂徒大怒道:“你他喵的玩我啊?练个《易筋经》还要学这么多佛经?你唬谁玩呢?”
扫地僧一脸严肃地道:“我没有唬人,真的要学了这些才行。”
燕狂徒怒道:“简直一派胡言,摆明了就是拿我们取乐,皮痒了找抽。燕某人奉劝你一句话,不作死就不会死。”
扫地僧倒是不和她吵,看来定力很不错,只是“阿弥陀佛”宣了一声佛号,任由燕狂徒呲牙咧嘴,他居然也不回嘴。
李岩拉住燕狂徒,让她先不要吵,然后才慢条斯理地道:“这位大师,咱们拿走易筋经,倒也不是为了练成什么绝世武功,只是要用易筋经去救一个人罢了,治好她的走火入魔,立即就会停止修炼,在这种情况下,想毕也不需要学这么多佛经了吧?”
扫地僧道:“阿弥陀佛,佛经这东西多多益善,多读总是好的,各位施主还是把这些佛经都仔细研读一番,再拿走易筋经吧。”
李岩摊手:“可是我们并不是和尚,这一大堆佛经对于和尚来说也许有读头,对于我们来说却根本就看不进去。”
扫地僧道:“这就是施主们的不对了,佛经有什么看不进去的?这简直是世界上最好看的书。”
他这话出口,就见李岩等人脸上同时闪过一抹不屑的表情,几个人同时开口。
李岩道:“世界上最好看的书明明是《太监眼中的女人》。”
燕狂徒道:“世界上最好看的书明明是《萌娘三国演义》。”
张无忌道:“世界上最好看的书明明是《萌娘四海为家。》”
萧秋水道:“世界上最好看的书明明是《明末1625》。”
就连被抓起来的阿朱,也弱弱地说了一句:“世界上最好看的书明明是《明末朱重八》,可惜写到一半太监了。”
(读者们一边挽起袖管,一边捏着拳头,骨节发出啪啪的响声:“三十二公公,竟敢在广告中间插播剧情,你想知道钵盂大的拳头究竟有多大吗?”三十二公公大惊:“别打,我加字,这一章加字总行了吧。”)
扫地僧眉毛一扬:“几位施主,这就是你们不对了,怎能说佛经不如这些垃圾书?”
李岩也眉毛一扬:“大师,这就是你不对了,《太监眼中的女人》是提高情商的至宝,你居然说是垃圾书?你这是严重侮辱我的情商。”
旁边的妹子一起捂住了脸:李岩,你有情商可以侮辱么?
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